Pickle heads! This is it.  We are going to see our childhood’s brought back in style via the artistic nod of Diablo Cody ( The pen behind the teen prego flick Juno). Dig it or don’t dig, it means nothing to yours truly. The important topic here is you remember SVH? Sweet Valley High? You have to. Blondie double twins Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield trying to survive their teenage years in Sweet Valley, California against all the odds of wretched youth. It was the perfect compliment to My So-Called Life but it was a prerequisite in my opinion before that show was even birthed in your dome of consciousness.

Before you were immersed into the world of Brenda Walsh on the original 90210, you were half way down the rabbit hole with these twins and their posse of Californian school folk.  I have vivid memories back in the day that nobody – and I mean nobody – was ever going to be as pretty and perfect as those tow-headed princesses in high school. And, growing up in Pittsburgh, I was fairly dead on. (More hot-headed Italian ladybugs than California blondes.) So by the time I was ten years old and sprouting little semi-boobs, the authors were already in their eleventh year of dishing out books. And if lil’ Momma’s memory doesn’t betray her, the television show was milling around the Hollywood scene I’d say early ’90s-ish? The show starred twin sisters Brittany and Cynthia Daniel playing the picture-perfect twins with a wild side. Whew doggie! It’s all coming back to you now, yes? For realzies, hop on the ole’ Google machine and search engine Sweet Valley High. You’ll be hooked even if the books are outdated.

It began in 1983 and literally ran for some what of 20 years in publication. Get ready to swallow facts: That’s 120 books, yo. Books by not only the original author Francine Pascal, but a bevy of other incredibly creative ghostwriters. These books straight up guided my lifestyle as a ‘tween turning into the dashing young lass I am today. I was quirky (no!), not that pretty (no!) and ridden with pimples (NO!) but falling into this devilish world of Sweet Valley High made it all seem fine by me.

Now, as announced (last year, ugh dude, ugh), Diablo Cody might have her hand in making this feature come back to life. Fine by me. The idea of bringing back storylines of the twins switching places because they BOTH had a crush on a dude, or one twin was spreading rumors and the other had to put out the fire, it’s like you are reading my mind. Howevs, if we are going to do this, let’s do it right. Teenage zombies.

Yup, you heard me. Let’s have highschool set in post-apocalyptic eras where mid-way through a scene, one of the popular kids just get eaten by a half-dead high school teacher. THIS would rock my Thanksgiving weekend come 2013.  And, why stop there? If we are going to jump on the bandwagon of bringing back classics of my feminine youth, why not gear towards Babysitter’s Club too, why don’t cha?

They were a group of young entrepreneurs starting a lucrative business around the neighborhood kid population. Cha Ching. But instead of following the traditional format, let’s set this whole scenario up like they are half babysitters, half money hungry assasins taking grimy politicians out one minimum wage paycheck at a time. The girls promoted positive responsibility,  leadership and innovative ideas outside of the norm of spraying graffiti on walls (and whatever else rebellious children do), so I think this time around let’s make them a little more rough and tough. I’ll also settle for them just being spies, too; that’s also fairly fascinating, but “assasin” just has a killer ring to my ears.

This is a match made in CW heaven, guys. Because in my opinion, nothing is more important than the nostalgia of bubble gum goodness that shaped the youth of a pretty femme fatales we look up to today, mixed in  with a dash of danger, of course. So, get on it, Cody – my youth is a waitin.’ (Extra points if you also remake Camp Onawhana with terrifying pumas running about. Just an FYI.)
Image via Snark Valley

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