Stop Making Me Cry, Google

Alright Google, we need to talk. Your emotional commercials continue to make me a wreck at inopportune times. You’re coming after my heartstrings hard, like one-eyed dogs and P&G during the Olympics. But Sarah McLachlan has nothing on you, because I can’t look away. And I don’t want to. (I am a woman, and I get far too invested in things I have no control over.) But I have to ask: what’s next? I can only tear up so many times during Jersey Shore commercial breaks.

I use your email, I dig your Drive and I downloaded your browser. I’ll probably do anything else you say, too, so please keep it reasonable. You might wonder: why does Google need commercials? Everyone already uses it, right? These are commercials, but they are first and foremost, stories. They use people to humanize technology and make Google’s apps approachable and applicable to our own lives. They make Google relevant. Is that a tear in your eye? Maybe, but it’s also new information about how Google Plus, Maps and Calendar work.

Parisian Love

It all started with Paris. Remember? This one was a Super Bowl commercial – talk about a bad time to get weepy. From “impress a French girl” to “how to assemble a crib,” I ate up the story that unfolded via search engine and rooted for this love struck Nicolas Sparks character every step of the way. But more importantly, I wanted more.

Dear Sophie

Then there was Sophie, the baby girl with her own email account. Her dad collected photos, videos and memories, and used Google to preserve them. Kids: one day they’re learning how to walk, and before you know it, they have their own email address. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

It Gets Better

Google supported the It Gets Better Project with touching stories and messages from wonderfully supportive people. Famous and non-famous, gay and straight, closeted and out, shy and proud: everyone is on the same page when they upload a video of support. It’s heartwarming, comforting and inspiring. And the screen shots of the YouTube user comments get me every time. What’s more, Google’s support of the It Gets Better Project was only the beginning of the fight to end teen bullying.

Jess Time

More recently there was Jess, the college freshman braving it on her own, far away from her dad-and-best-friend-in-one. But did she have to be motherless? Yes, yes she did. Because otherwise I wouldn’t have cried at my desk in the middle of the day.

Coffee, Bieber & GaGa

Now there’s Coffee, where the guy fights for the one that got away, and it turns me into a puddle of estrogen. Who knew Google Drive could be so romantic? Even the Justin Bieber one gives me goosebumps, and the Lady GaGa one makes me smile. There are a few others, but these are the wildly popular (and emotional) ones thus far.

It’s obvious Google is going to keep the waterworks coming, so here are my suggestions for future commercials:
Here, Boy: follow the story of a young college graduate and his first dog, Max, as they grow up and grow wiser together.
Beauty School Dropout: a fashion dropout is finally back on track to get her high school degree. Billy Madison meets Josie Grossie.
All in the Family: after a young man loses his father, he keeps the family auto shop open – and his father’s dream alive.
Lending a Hand: a not-for-profit company uses Google to plan and organize their day-to-day, with the commercial’s emphasis on employees personally delivering supplies to the less fortunate.
I Do: the triumphs and stresses of a bride and groom planning their wedding.

Kudos, Google. You’re right: the web is what you make of it. You keep it coming, and I’ll get more tissues.

Image via

  • Carly Herron

    Oh man, I feel you! These ones always get me!

  • Danielle Loughrey

    I’ve never seen these but I’m tearing up at all of them!

  • Brittany White

    GREAT! Now I am crying at my desk at work… I love Google! These commercials are the greatest.

  • Rebecca Gazzard Ashwin

    Ohhh I thought I was the only one getting teary in the ads, thank you for posting this!

  • Emily Kreider


  • Stephanie Thompson

    I am crying at the thought of Google making any of your suggested videos. If the dog dies at the end of “Here, boy,” I’ll die.

    • Rachel Lam

      Heehee sounds like the movie My Dog Skip.

  • Sofie Marks

    oh gosh, I’m just a wreck now!

  • Stephanie Titus

    Well, I definitely got caught crying at my desk by my boss! Thanks! 😀

  • Toni Curella

    You read my mind! I hadn’t seen the last one but now I’m crying harder than I should probably even admit.

  • Ljubica Sarafov

    you forgot Dallas Clayton: “Awesome Dad.”

  • Diana Becker Enterlin

    Oh my goodness! I’m so glad someone finally addressed this! When I’m bawling my husband doesn’t even look at the tv before saying “why is google trying to kill you?” I can’t even be in the room when Jess Time comes on!

  • Rachael Thompson

    Oh god having a mini breakdown watching these!!

  • Suzanne Burns

    these made me cry…

  • Lindsay Ann

    The Jess one makes me cry too!

  • Kinzie Bell Merl

    seriously. ive been saying this for months! i just rewatched them all and now i’m crying like a baby. thanks for making me feel less alone. OH and i also am afraid of bacon.

  • Charlie Dingelstad

    I had never seen these adverts, but did I just grab a box of tissues!

  • Lizz Mollise

    Good Lord, I knew I shouldn’t have looked. I’m drowning in a puddle of my own tears. Darn me and my mushiness! The one about Jess is my favorite.

  • Kaitlin Bodiroga

    Dallas Clayton: Awesome Dad was the best one! i sobbed like a baby.

  • Erin Quinn

    Oh god, the Sophie one makes me DIE every time it comes on!!!

  • Shayna Marie Johnson

    oh my!!!!
    i cried by the time i got to the end of this… gosh this advertisement WORKED. i feel emotionally mind F*@%ed.

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