Stop Being So Mean To Your Hips And ThighsNicole James

This is a photo of the hips and thighs that have consumed so many hours of my mental energy during much of my existence on this planet. (Yes, that is the Fila “F” on those pants — they were on sale!) These hips and thighs have never done anything offensive to me. They’ve never betrayed me, they’ve never been broken or diseased or weak. But I have waged the most ruthless war on them over the past 10 years, and I think I’m ready to put it to bed.

I was a chubby teenager, and I didn’t even know that until recently when I saw old photos of myself that my dad brought home from his cubicle after he retired. At that age, I had no relationship with my body whatsoever. As far as I was concerned, I didn’t even have one. My mom told me she never said anything to me about my weight because first of all, I was still healthy, and second, she never wanted to make me feel like my weight should have something to do with my self-worth. Despite this wonderful decision she made for me in my formative years, I still managed as I got older, like literally every girlfriend of mine, to find enough room in my life — in my educated, first-world life — for an extreme body hatred phase.

I lost about 10 or 15 pounds between sophomore and junior year in college because I was trying to work through the idea that my first boyfriend, the person I lost my virginity to, cheated on me repeatedly. I wasn’t even trying to lose weight, I was trying to not be angry. When I returned to school, I received more compliments than I ever have in my entire life. To up the ante after this rush of new-found confidence, I took speed-like diet pills, ate very little food, and ran for 60 minutes every day senior year of college. I rang in my 21st birthday weighing 108 pounds, and as someone who comfortably rests at about 120, I was so proud of that.

How rude it is to be born with this beautiful, healthy, functioning human body and to repeatedly and obsessively reject this privilege. I’m 28-years-old and I think I’m just now learning to look in the mirror and see the entire image. I don’t look at my face and then at my thighs and then at my collarbone and then at my arms and then at my hair and then back at my thighs over and over and over — I see an entire human being. I see the way all my parts move together, and it looks pretty good to me.

  • Cynthia Van Kleeck

    If you really want to love them, start belly dancing. Seriously, nothing is more coveted or beautiful in belly dance than full hips and thighs, and they are literally used to make music with coin belts. It took me awhile to realize that shimmies were all about letting all of the stuff that jiggles that we hate on our butts just move and relax and be feminine. :)

  • Hannah Marie Seeger

    Thanks for this post, it also helps to have a boyfriend who is an “ass man” haha i got a big butt and was always a little embarrassed but I’m going strong for 5 years with my boyfriend and he loves my hips, thighs, and butt. I have never been more confident and felt better about myself before being with him. I love him, and my thighs haha =D

  • Erin Aliquo


    that is all.

  • Christine Innes

    I really needed this today! Thank you :)

  • Megan Muehl

    . I too have waged a war on my thighs and hips (mostly the rage is directed at my thighs) Through positive images and role models I found power in them and that in the end i’d rather have a butt than none at all i’d rather have a little curve to me than none at all. these little reminders help push past the insecurities that tend to creep up way to much

  • Rae Ghun

    I’m in this phase and this post gives me hope that I’m going to just look at myself and go, “Self! sthu about your thighs and move on. Ya guy likes’em and your kid loves to cling to them. Move on.”

  • Heather E Kral

    It seems so many girls go through this phase. I felt like I was reading a post about myself. Though I got down to a dangerous 95 lbs. Just a few years ago I started to see an entire human being and pretty happy with it as well. :) Hopefully the girls and women who still struggle will start to see their bodies as a whole and not just focus on certain parts of themselves.

  • Ximena Santillan Guerra

    I´m latina so having hips is SEXY

  • Georgia Leaker

    i also wage war on my thighs (my hips, not so much) and it’s nice to know i’m not alone.
    hopefully i can learn to stop whinging about mine too!

  • Karla Denise Reyes

    I really appreciate this post.

  • Devon Metiva

    Love. Thank you

  • Christina Sparkle

    Your hips and thighs are beautiful!

    Anyone who is remotely paranoid about their hips or thighs needs to join their local roller derby team and take a look around at the girls wearing leggings, shorts, hotpants with even bigger hips and thighs than yours. Work with what you got baby.

  • Natalie Stenson

    Great post. x

  • Anne Cuddy

    thank you.

  • Kerri Elizabeth

    Love this! I need to follow your example when I look in the mirror.

  • Ashton Roberts

    i love this :)

  • Sara Jean Stotts

    That last paragraph – YES!

  • Vanessa Dominguez

    I really enjoyed this post. Thank you for sharing!

  • Amanda Haas

    You have pretty congratulations, not many people can say that.

    • Amanda Haas

      Pretty nice hips*** forgot that part

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