I have this irrational and extremely unfortunate fear of squirrels. My main fear with is that they will either just fall from a tree branch or a telephone wire and go straight onto my face or they will attack me by jumping onto my face. Surprisingly, I would prefer it were on purpose, because then I would feel justified in my fear, as well as my actions of beating it. If it were an accident, I would be a little apprehensive because maybe the squirrel would be embarrassed about his fall from grace and my beating it would make me look like this insensitive human beating a clumsy and helpless squirrel.

Luckily, I haven’t encountered this problem in real life, but I came pretty close the other day. It was early in the morning and I was going for a run when all of a sudden these two dueling squirrels ran right in front of me. They were making strange, evil squirrel noises and I was forced to jump over them, screaming as I did so. Of course, this made me feel justified in my fear, but it didn’t help me feel like the sanest person I know I can be. That’s when I decided this fear must stop. I sought solace in the Internet, where I decided to look up cute pictures of squirrels. I was delighted yet disturbed by my findings of the amount of people that dress squirrels up in costumes and take pictures of them. But I guess I have a new respect for these animals – I mean, hey, are pretty good at acting the part of the costume they are put into. Squirrels are clearly hard working creatures and I have a newfound respect for them. I think I’ll always fear them, but my fear is no longer fueled by rage.

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