Let me start by saying that I can’t believe I’m married. It sounds so weird and old. But it’s pretty fun. Because I married a comedian.
When I got engaged to my husband, my mom was so excited for us, she shared the news with some of her co-workers at her K-8 school in Florida. THEM: “Is he a doctor?!” MOM: “Ummm, no.” THEM: “Is he a lawyer?!” MOM: “Nope.” THEM: “Well what is he, then?!” MOM: “A comedian.” THEM: Silence. No one dreams that their daughter will marry a comedian. In fact, even after six years together, my parents still don’t really understand it. And my grandfather definitely thinks we’re destitute. But I think it’s pretty awesome. I get to laugh all of the time. I’m laughing right now as I write this because I can hear Dan (that’s the husband) kinda singing/kinda making weird singing noises in the shower**. I also get pranked, embarrassed in public and become the butt of jokes.
One day, I made the mistake of letting Dan use my computer after I went on Facebook. I didn’t notice anything weird until I started getting a crazy influx of texts. And let’s be real here, I have a BFF that I text with nonstop so if I get one that’s not from her, I think I’m popular. First text said, “I didn’t know you surfed!” Ummm, I’m sorry, what does that mean?? I let the person have it, maybe they accidentally texted me. Then a minute later I got another: “You better be careful out there!” Now I knew something was up, plus Dan got this little mischievous smile when I showed him the texts. So I grabbed my computer back to find that my status now read: FINALLY HEADING TO MALIBU FOR NIGHT SURFING!! WHO WANTS TO COME?
After carefully explaining to my pals that not only do I not surf, but my affinity for partaking in dangerous activities stops at watching The Vampire Diaries, I thought that would be it. But no, I soon realized that I had unknowingly signed up for a lifetime of this prank, which I call: The status hijack. For years now, my status has been updated without my consent to everything from “Totally got a ticket for getting in a cop car super drunk!” to “I’m on a private plane to the UK. I can’t say no to Kanye West!!!” To things like: “Takin’ some Sunday night shots at da’ club!” and “Smeh!” and “In Germany. Kinda wanna move here!” and “I’ve packed my bags and I am ready to go! Anyone got any tips for 10 weeks in Kenya?” I’ve stopped apologizing to my parents, coworkers and concerned friends (several told me to make sure I had all my shots before I headed to Africa) and now I secretly look forward to when it happens again because it never fails to make me smile. It’s what I signed up for, I married a comedian… I highly recommend it.
**Dan just explained to me that he was actually singing Yankee Doodle Dandy in the shower. Totally normal.
Photo credit: danlevyshow.com