"Skinny Minny" Dating: The Insane Search For A Size-Specific SoulmateKatie Patton

Just when you thought we had evolved as a society…

Apparently, the new trend this month is speed dating for skinny people. Yes, you read that correctly and no, sadly there is no punch line because this is not a joke. If you are heavier than the average woman, you need not apply because you wouldn’t even be allowed to attend. Except by heavier than average I mean below to well below the norm in this country, considering the average American woman wears a size 14 and the self titled “Skinny Minny” event boasted a pool of women between size 0 and 8. Don’t worry, though – not all attendees were blatantly discriminated against; if you are a man hoping to attend “Skinny Minny” speed dating, there is a come one, come all policy – size 8 pant size or under not required.

You may be wondering how I could have anything else to discuss for the remainder of this article, because surely I gave away all the terribly misogynistic details up front. I wish you were correct, but thanks to OnSpeedDating.com’s extreme levels of insanity, the size restriction is not the only offensive aspect of their event. The Huffington Post recently reported that the women who attend these dating events are asked to wear a name tag with their dress size on it. So, in the case that the men in attendance are even more narrow-minded and shallow than originally suspected, unsatisfied with the knowledge that any woman in the room is a size 8 or below, they can easily weed through those on the “larger” end of the spectrum to find their size-appropriate soulmate.

If you are anything like me, you may still be in shock, hoping beyond all hope that this is a hoax. Perhaps you are wondering how any decent human being could attend an event such as this, let alone admit to being the brainchild behind it. However, the dating site experiencing their fifteen minutes of fame completely defends their decision to host a matchmaking event based on weight by saying, “We all have relationship ‘deal breakers‘ and that does not make us shallow, we’re just single New Yorker’s that know what we want and are attracted to.” I hope single New Yorker’s everywhere are outraged that they have been lumped into this exclusive group; like the secret society to which you never hoped to be admitted.

Just in case you were worried that a beautiful, kind-hearted, intelligent, size 10 catch of a woman might, by some chance, slip through the cracks and be admitted to the event, subjecting herself to the madness at hand, have no fear. The good people working for On Speed Dating have vowed that they would never let that happen. “Guys, no need to worry about meeting a biggie-size chick ‘down-sizing’ to an 8 like when you’re dating online. We’ll be checking labels at the door,” they proclaimed. THANK GOD! For a minute I was really worried about the integrity of this event being upheld.

“Biggie size chick.” I honestly didn’t know that grown adults who function at the minimum level necessary for social interaction such as dating used such immature, closed-minded, hateful speech. The people over at Dove must be having an actual cow right in the middle of their positive-body-image-loving offices because this event is the very antithesis of their real beauty campaign.  The idea that matchmaking and dating should be dictated by dress size breathes life into the worst ideals and notions that exist in our society, despite people dedicating their careers to disband them. While we are pouring our hearts into breaking stereotypes and shedding light on real beauty, making strides to instill positive body image within all generations, it is unfortunate to realize that events like “Skinny Minny” dating exist, providing even the smallest amount of fuel to the negative body image fire. How anyone could think it is okay to discriminate women based off of their “larger” dress sizes and market others based off of what they consider a more “desirable” waistline is beyond me.

The most disturbing part is that there must have been women who signed up to attend this event; to get dressed up and go meet these men who, first and foremost, are fixated on their body type, prioritizing it over their brain. Just like most of us, I am not always supremely happy with my body, but I am healthy and happen to fall within the required (and, once again, ridiculous) parameters of this date night. However, I would rather sit in the desert and eat sand than meet men while being made to wear a “Hello My Name Is Size 4” name tag; men who came to meet me because they knew I would fit a specific mold and men who would choose not to meet some amazing single women I know, on many accounts women more amazing than myself, all because they were not my size.

Some of the most loving, wonderful, successful, beautiful women that I am lucky enough to call my friends and family have a tag in the back of their pants that reads size 8 or above. I also consider myself blessed to have ladies in my life whose hearts are ten times the size of their waistline. Do you want to know why my nearest and dearest run the gamut of shape and size? Because our personalities are not directly related to our body type and our feelings of self-worth or ability to be desired by a partner shouldn’t be either. Sure, we all have preferences and pre-conceived ideas of what our significant other may look like but, as human beings, we also have this incredible ability to love people for what really matters when we enter into dating and life with an open mind; even when certain parts of our culture try to narrow our vision. The idea that you might not be able to fall in love with another person, find your perfect match because they fall outside of a physical ideal, is absurd.

It isn’t just that I thought we had evolved as a society, it is that I know we have. By no means are we perfect or wholly accepting, but we have certainly made significant headway in regards to a woman’s self-worth not being defined by her waistline. Therefore, I must resign to the hope that this is simply an unfortunate sign that a select few have been unable to keep up with the progress and that the negative reaction by many proves we are no longer turning a blind eye and perpetuating a weight obsessed culture.

Do you think we have made progress on defining real beauty in our culture? Tell me what you think about real beauty and the concept of “Skinny Minny” dating.

Feature Image via Shutterstock

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  1. The main thing that irritates me about this : the men attending don’t have any restrictions placed upon them!

  2. I think this is a bit cruel to skinny people, I’m a size 4 and I get offended whenever people say ‘curves are beautiful’, so what? I have a fast metabolism but I don’t get offended to is people who say ‘I’m attracted to big girls’ or ‘I like a girl who has a bit of meat on their bones’ because they are saying that’s THEIR opinion! But I also know I wouldn’t date someone I didn’t find somebody sexually attractive because that’s part of attraction! A guy who tries to be healthy and fit and has the drive and cares about their body is a must for me.
    It’s also not fair if this was a dating thing for overweight people, people would be cheering and skinny people would be offended. Like “Say No To Size Zero” campaigns are considered positive and inspiring.

    • the say no to size zero campaign is just as bad! and it really should be ‘curves are beautiful TOO’. the thought that only skinny or thin WOMEN can be beautiful is the predominant outlook of most people today, and that is where the problem lies. Any size man is fine as long as the woman is fit. Wrong!

  3. i dont think there is a problem with being thin and wanting to date a guy with a good body as well, to me fat is a turn off.

  4. Again an event that will perpetuate the idea that only skinny is attractive. Don’t see a problem for the people attending, the girls must be out of their mind., probably because they are hungry and the guys are pretty shallow, so yeah, don’t care about the ones attending. What I do care about is that this is another one of the things that will get to young girls and insert the idea that they have to be skinny to be desirable. Some people are naturally skinny and it’s not hard for them to maintain that weight, but other people are heavier. What makes you attractive is not the number on the scale but how you deal with yourself. I’m on the heavier side and it took years to even come close to accepting that that is the way I look and that it’s ok to be whatever I am.. I feel sorry for the young girls, who see photoshopped pictures all day making them chase a body type that not even the people on the picture really have. All women have issues with their bodies and that’s sad. You should be happy. A happy person will always be more attractive than someone who’s hungry and miserable. Calling anyone over size 8 a biggie chick is absolutely disgusting and I don’t understand how anyone would think so, and even less say so. Just be happy and healthy and fuck the scale and the pictures. It’s too tiring thinking about what everyone else thinks of you. It’s just no way to live.

  5. To be honest I don’t think this is as bad as it seems, there are dating services everywhere that cater to specific types of people. I mean there’s sites just for Christian/Jewish/under or over a certain age, so it’s hardly surprising that there’s a company who wants to match up people who know what they’re attracted to.
    I mean I’m not going to get insulted because I don’t fit someone’s ideal on OverweightDate (which is a real thing I found while googling before starting to type this). The people who would attend an event like this clearly want a skinny chick or are skinny and want someone who will like them as they are. I don’t see the harm in that. We are animals after all, and a lot of attraction stems from physical appearance. Survival of the fittest and all that jazz. Animals go for the strongest, healthiest, we just widened our criteria for what we deem the fittest.

    I don’t find muscular men attractive, so if I saw an ad for speed dating for body builders or fans of body builders, I wouldn’t go. But I wouldn’t get upset about it.

    • Yea, I have to agree. If this is the type of dating program that you would volunteer to participate in, then I feel sorry that you’re so shallow, but you’re an adult and will make that decision for yourself. I personally feel that I deserve more respect than to be a part of something like that, but I can’t take offense to it because it’s a voluntary program and people are looking for a particular kind of relationship.

    • Thank you! I was just going to say there’s the same type of event of people that are “overweight”. Why does this not seem to get as much attention. I see no difference….

  6. People who attend this event deserve each other. On a related note, it’s unfortunate how many women don’t understand that men don’t actually know what they are looking for until they find it.

  7. I don’t really understand how this is any different than any dating site asking your weight or body type. I am attracted skinny dudes (and women) and I am not a skinny girl. Does that make me a bad person? I suppose I should be grateful there are skinny people willing to date me…

  8. If they want to play to stereotypes, why doesn’t the men’s nametag show their yearly salary?

  9. this sounds like something that would be on a reality show like The O.C., but in NYC of course. like, haha, what a funny thing all the bros are gonna go do. speed dating for skinny chicks. i can barely take this seriously. i feel bad for everyone involved.

  10. I love how being skinny is a requisite but being attractive and a good person isn’t. You can be a bitch and have a face like an ass but if you’re skinny that’s all that matters.

    I think it’s a great idea – the only men and women shallow enough to attend belong together. it will reduce the risk of good people accidentally ending up with one of these narrow minded bores

  11. Aside from all the very insightful points you highlighted here, and that I TOTALLY agree with., I’d like to point out the implications these “standards” have on a relationship.

    I’m going on the assumption that people would be attending these events because they are looking for a relationship, probably a serious one, because we all want our someone, right?

    Building a relationship on what someone looks like today is like building a house on the beach. Sure it looks nice now but in 20-50 years from now the inevitable erosion of time is going to take it’s toll. Sure you can spend all of your money and energy trying to maintain and fight mother nature. But just like the beach house your relationship will probably succumb and melt away.

    Not only is this an example of what is wrong with how women are taught to regard themselves, how men are expected to regard women, the absurd beauty standard that exists & the objectification of women…. But it’s also a great example of the shallowness that we take for granted. Happiness isn’t found in a dress size, no matter who you are.

  12. the only thing that could make this event better is if the “skinny mini’s” were in their skimpiest bikinis so the name tags aren’t needed, cuz really, who cares what their names are.

  13. I ask myself the same questions. But then again, I’m not surprised that some of these assholes slipped through the cracks. There will always be people with old ideas of what woman should be. They know we have the most power in EVERYTHING. Why do you think some subjugate and insist that women be submissive? Because wars have been started to conquer this *points to her va jay jay*. Yeah, yeah, land has a lot to do with it too, but what would land be without women, population, etc etc. But I digress

    Women of the world, you are some beautiful, powerful beings. Don’t let these assholes tell you your physical appearance is what matters.

  14. What’s funny is that there is no requirement for the men. Those women are going to be dissapointed ha

  15. Just when you think some people in our society couldn’t stoop any lower! What shallow, narrow-minded people! I agree with you, even I would be ‘allowed’ to attend such an event, I wouldn’t be caught dead doing so!!

  16. Honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with this. They aren’t forcing you to attend, and if those aren’t the sort of men you want to be dating anyway, then all the better. They’ve been contained in one room where you don’t have to run into them. But there ARE women who go to these things, and not because they “don’t know any better” or have “no self-respect” or a million other things we could say about them. Maybe these are the same women who go and ignore all men who aren’t muscular enough, or are too fat, or too skinny. We ALL have things we look for in another person, and not all of those aspects are metaphysical. These are just people, both men and women, who are very specific and upfront about what they find physically attractive and don’t feel a reason to be ashamed of that fact.

  17. Oh god! What kind of turds run this joke of an “event”?

  18. Evidently the male requirements are that you must be a douche.

  19. I have no words. This is absolutely disgusting.