From Our Readers

Singled In

Why am I single? Why are YOU coupled? Were you not awesome enough to be chill like this? Could you not handle your own company? Or maybe you weren’t good enough in bed for you? Well, if I must provide some sort of clarification on the matter – so be it. You see, there’s no one in particular that I fancy right now, well no one that returns my interest or is also single anyways.

Perhaps if there were an available mutually interested specimen I might see to it to arrange for an official pairing. I might not though. I might just play with them from time to time and see what fun things they bring to my space or mind. I might also just enjoy them from afar because sometimes my imagination is awfully satisfying like that. There are also other options, but what I mean to illustrate is that I am not hard wired to be in a formal relationship. I am hard wired for adventure and to explore myself and others. I am hard wired to be an individual and honor my own needs, which can conflict when deeply entangled with another.

This does not mean I am too immature to compromise for another nor does it mean I don’t wish to make sacrifices. I am happy to do both, but I am also happy to do neither. This is because I am happy with myself. For a long time I was not and that has been when I have most craved a relationship. In fact it is a strong indicator that I am unwell when I find myself spending too much time desiring and searching for companionship. Another reason why I am not too fixated on coupledom is that I in many ways already have a boyfriend and that boyfriend is fashion (scandal!).

Fashion is the first thing I think of when I wake up and when I go to bed. I spend most of my time fantasizing about what I can do with fashion except when I am directly engaged with it. I smile to myself when I think of fashion. I touch myself when I think of fashion (JK!). There is nothing in my entire life that has played such an integral and key role in providing focus and purpose as fashion has. It inspires me and challenges me, and sometimes all before noon. My love of fashion has given me the strength to make the most difficult decisions and endure the most painful moments. So now you see I am single for some very beautiful reasons: radical self-love and completion through creative pursuit. If you are like me you are in a whole other ball game and the cruel dissection of perceived flaws and projected loneliness in singledom is not only missing the mark it is a corruption of self-actualization.

So people of the single variety: the next time someone asks why you’re single I invite you to flap your arms up and down and caw like a crow because you are free like a bird and probably also a little weird and that’s okay. You just be yourself and if  you feel like your own company is enough you are way ahead of the crowd.

With that said I would like to, on behalf of single people everywhere, hereby solemnly declare singles free of judgement and societal expectations. Absolve yourselves of all pressure and unwarranted shame. Being single does not mean you must be defunct in some way. I mean you probably are, but so is everyone else (except Ryan Gosling, of course). Flaws and all though you are still nothing less than wonderful and I thank you for that. You keep me in excellent company. Also, I thank you for not contributing to North America’s growing divorce rate. Or as I call it “HAHA your s**t’s mine now SUCKA! -rate.”

You can read more from Tracey MacCorquodale here and here.

Feature image via.

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