Single Girls Guide Part 4

I’m one of five daughters and the only one who hasn’t been in a long-term (boring) relationship for the last few years.

Although I’m a grown ass woman of twenty-eight, my dad still asks me to text him when I get home safe at night because his theory is that there is no one making sure I’m still alive at the end of the day except for him.

Like, he basically thinks if I don’t get a husband I’m going to get killed.

Like, every day I continue to live without one I’m cheating death.

You can imagine how much anxiety this started to give me. So, I decided I would be open to meeting someone instead of my usual routine of pretending to be deaf when a guy asks me to pass him a straw at Starbucks in case he was trying to marry me. I told my friends I would finally accept their attempts to set me up on blind dates.

Now, I’m sure you have your own set of challenges dating guys in whichever city you live in, but dating dudes in Los Angeles is a hot mess. I went out with one chiseled babe who spent dinner with me talking in a thick Boston accent he was trying to get right for an audition in the morning.  Another sweet catch I met used The Coffee Bean as his office during the day. Although I love a free dinner, it became clear to me pretty quickly that this was beneath me and I wouldn’t want to trick any of these people into getting me pregnant. Which is a bad sign all around. I mean, yes I’m technically almost thirty which is an age you could find on birthday party plates with the phrase “Over The Hill” on them, but I’m not there yet. I still have the word twenty in front of the eight, and if I mumble it so people hear me saying twenty-four, it’s not my problem. So I figure I’ve got some time to figure this out and in the meantime I’m not going to dilute my worth with these Ed Hardys.

In summation ladies, its summer and you know what that means; we can’t hide our cellulite under tights. But it ALSO means, you can relax and have fun. Here are a few reasons to enjoy being single:

  • Ryan Gosling is available. He’s often seen at 7-11 in the mornings and if he has low expectations for his coffee, it makes me feel like we all have a shot.

Enough said. List complete.


Photo Via

  • Julieta Lucca

    hands down!

  • Leah Lopez

    “Ryan Gosling is available. He’s often seen at 7-11 in the mornings and if he has low expectations for his coffee, it makes me feel like we all have a shot.”


  • Diana Zapata

    Single, you say?? Things are going to get very interesting. And by “interesting” i’ll google stalk him for a while and imagine what it would be like if we met and fell in love and had kids and stuff.

  • Gab White

    I’m going to keep that list of reasons to enjoy being single in mind every time I’m third-wheelin at the beach this summer and the couple I’m with is drinking a milkshake with two straws in it and sharing a hot dog.

  • Cassie Brenske

    Ha! Those were my parents concerns when I broke up with my boyfriend and moved out on my own. I’ve been cheating death for nearly a year now, it’s only a matter of time before I get mugged and murdered for being single, I live every day like it’s my last. You’re awesome Erin.

  • Rachel Tennial

    I’m almost 26 and I found myself another chronically single friend to cheat death with. We have vowed to check on each other to make sure neither one has been murdered due to our lack of husbands. Basically I concur.

  • Robyn Pennington

    Oh yes, dating in L.A. SUCKS!! Not only were we voted to have the worst traffic in the entire country but we won, hands down over any other city in this giant-ass country of ours, that we are home to the rudest people. I blame the traffic on that one. But either way, you are entirely correct that dating in Los Angeles sucks. I think you should band together with other single girls and we can all check in on each other to make sure we’ve cheated death one more day by being single. 😀

  • Bonnie Jane

    There is a really disturbing statistic but one that might calm your Dad down: Women who are married are MORE likely to be murdered and in most cases it is at the hands of their husbands.

    Almost all of the benefits of marriage are for men. Their lives get better and they live longer because they have wives. The opposite is true for women. I’ve been doing a little research because my parents ask me why I’m not married way more frequently now that I’m 29!

  • Meredith Bagdazian

    Trust me, San Diego’s not much better. Same story; 28, single, pretty awesome, and my mom literally said to me “You need a boyfriend! I don’t care if you have to go stand on the street corner to get one!” I THINK she was joking…

  • Estela Magana

    Ahhh….so many fabulous single women! What is wrong with men these days? I’m 28 and I feel the same way. The sad thing is, I think everyone has actually given up on me. No offers for blind dates (who doesn’t love free meals) and whenever I ask my friends they say they don’t know anyone “good enough” for me. Lame. Ryan Gosling related, I was out with a fellow single lady on Thursday night and saw him! I couldn’t even eat my food because I swear he was watching me. When he went to the bathroom he smiled at me and I melted. We are officially engaged in my head!

  • Klara Maria

    “My Self Esteem’s Not Low Enough to Date You”

  • Rachael Berkey

    This is so totally spot on!

  • Kimberly Hawkins

    Cincinnati isn’t much better sister! Seriously…I went on a blind date with a guy who is working toward his doctorate…in trumpet performance.

  • Clara Medeiros

    I’m twenty nine but I find that if I ask people how old they think I am works better because they seem confortable with figures around 25. wishful thinking does pay up!

    great article [as usual!!!]

  • Jessica Broadbent

    Erin, you’re freakin’ awesome. I’m in almost exactly the same situation, and I’m loving Ryan Gosling as a reason to love being single. I’m not sure what my chances are with him, me being in Australia and all, but I’ll do my best.

  • Meaghan Jenner

    Your so right, 27 and single, My friends have never tried to set me up on any blind dates but whatever. It’s hard to find a guy anywhere you go let alone one that with ask you out to coffee or dinner….usually i get the one that say “Hey…um…you wanna…hang out sometime?” what is that all about?! Lets “Hang out” when did that become the way to ask a woman out?!

  • Mary Godova

    Erin Foster is still single and her Twitter is @efosta.

  • Mary Godova

    I was in a “boring” relation for years, but I was so shocked that a man via Facebook flirts with another girl. I just tell myself that a man didn’t loved me and it is not a fate and I took him for granted maybe. Being married is still better than to be alone when you are old. It is the fate, God’s present – someone’s love – if no, only friendship and children and job. I remember the old American movie where the old man is so afraid of meeting with his always angry ex-wife, but since he saw her, they gone together again being “happy”. Love is so weird thing.

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