Single Girls Guide 12

Why is it that we usually get fat when we’re in love? They say you get fat and happy. I think when we are single, we’re hyper alert about having to be the best version of ourselves at all times because you never know when you’re going to bump into your soulmate and God forbid he sees your muffin top and decides not to love you. So we go to the gym and we get a tan and we hike and we stay on top of our pedicures and our waxes and take exfoliating baths in Epsom salts. We really take it to the next level. Then as soon as we meet someone who says we’re perfect and they love us exactly how we are, we give it all up because doing that stuff is a pain in the ASS.

The next thing they know, we’re ten pounds heavier, our nails are covered in chipped red polish, our roots are at our ears and we’re trying to pass off burping as an endearing habit. They don’t break up with us right away because each of these things on their own couldn’t possibly be a deal breaker, but overall when they said “be yourself”, this isn’t exactly what they had in mind. And when a hot girl walks into the room and he breaks his neck to get a peek, we lose our s**t. But can you blame him, when he hasn’t seen inappropriate cleavage on you since your third date?

Okay, lets take a step back since this isn’t a relationship guide, it’s a singles guide.  We live our life a certain way when we’re single so that we can bag the baddest catch in town. Then when we get ’em, we let it all go. Now, there is a lot to be said for the kind of love where you can be who you are, crying face and all. But our life is so full when we’re single. We take spontaneous trips with our friends, we laugh at the movies alone, we read that one book we’ve been wanting to read and see that one concert we’ve been wanting to see. We live like there might not be a tomorrow. Because every day is different. Then we fall in love and start dropping these things one by one. It doesn’t feel significant at first, but then suddenly your friends aren’t calling you for girls night anymore because they assume you won’t come. The trick is knowing how to be alone and then knowing how to share your life with someone without losing yourself. Some people are only good at one. But that’s not a good enough excuse. Just be good at both, damn it.

While you’re single, it’s important to pay attention to how fun your life is and all the things you say YES to. Wanna have dinner? Yes. Want to go to a party? Yes. Want to drive to Vegas tonight? Yes. Want to go to a dinner where you won’t know anyone except me? Yes. Want to die your hair blue for fun? Yes. Want to want to want to? Yes. Yes. Yes. It’s how we learn what we like and what we hate and how to handle different people in new situations. Don’t lose it. Even if you’re laying in bed with someone you love right now and you’re thinking you might not be the target audience for a single girls guide anymore because you’ve become someone’s girl.

Photo credit:

  • MoNique Nikka Laresá

    <3 So right on.

    • Erin Foster

      thanks girlfriend!! i wrote it specially for YOU!

  • Erica Hofmann

    Erin that picture is fantastic! And the fact that a website called actually exists just took it to a whole other level. Thanks for the laugh

    • Erin Foster

      Right?! I got pretty excited when i found that. I googled “stuffing your face”

  • Marielena Rios Sandoval

    I agree and disagree…I feel in a relationship I get more girly…when I’m not in a relationship I nix the makeup and blow-dryer. Otherwise if I have man in my life I pull out the heels and get dolled up 24/7…I’m the complete opposite. I also live by the book “The Power of Now” and I dont let opportunities run away.

    • Erin Foster

      There’s always the chance that someone wont relate to what i’m writing about, i get it. And i’m impressed you’re such a baller in relationships! Keep up the good work!

  • Josilynn Reynolds

    I just woke up and stumbled into work for 7am..annoyed that my room is dirty and i was to busy watching law and order svu to clean it, then dominos came i passed out eating alfredo pasta in a bread bowl…so i feel dirty, fat, and tired….until i read this i was having a terrible morning, then i remembered i am single and life is awesome right now! Thanks for a upbeat morning jabber <3

    • Erin Foster

      Its so much easier to write this stuff than to apply it in your own life… It’s pretty rad that you did that this morning. xo

  • Kelly Cosby

    Bookmarking this so I can read it every time I start to date someone and feel like I’m losing myself.

    • Erin Foster

      good idea! i should do the same!

  • Carolina Sabate

    I have never read more truth in one article.

    • Erin Foster

      YES! What a compliment, huh? THankYOU!!

  • Mandy McDonald

    My stepmom always told me to break up with whoever I was dating if I started to gain weight because she knew I’d drop the poundage quick after the split. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing haha

    • Erin Foster

      the breakup diet is pretty great, I’ll give her that :-)

  • Ann Marie Landry

    This was such a great reminder! And I’ve definitely caught myself doing just that (like right now!), so this is such great motivation to STOP. Time to go text my friends and set up a girls’ night!

    • Erin Foster

      That’s the spirit!! xo

  • Taylor Ochs

    Totally loved this! You made me laugh… “The trick is knowing how to be alone and then knowing how to share your life with someone without losing yourself.” Great message girlfran! Keep it up!

    • Erin Foster

      Yes! I’m gonna go tweet that quote

  • Kaushiki Chowdhury

    LOVE this article! In the midst of the “Single Girls Guide” (I’ve read religiously read part 1-12), I started dating someone, but I still come back and wanting to unleash my inner single girl and now I know, I can! And I will! “Want to die your hair blue for fun? Yes.” Why the hell not?! Love this article :)

    • Erin Foster

      Good for you. Keep all that single confidence in your relationship :-)

  • Karin Burkart

    love it!!, just like all the previous ones of course, i swear ur posts make my day!! thnx for the laugh erin!! greetings from mexico!!

    • Erin Foster

      Whats up Mexicoooooooo!!

  • Michelle Carrère Seizer

    I love your posts! Though I might disagree a little bit, I see many of my friends get prettier once they are in a relationship. Personally, I’ll tell you how it goes when I’m actually in one 😉

    • Erin Foster

      Good for those girls! they could teach me a thing or two

  • Melissa Lapp

    always love these!! thanks for keepin’ single sassy!

    • Erin Foster

      you can always count on me

  • Barbara Gonzalez

    I’m not single for about 3 years now and sometimes, when I read your singles guide I just think “am I wasting my time here?”
    When I think about my relationship I see all the great stuff that comes with it, I think about the wonderful person that I have on my side, and all the laughs that we share, the love he has for me and I have for him.
    But I also think about how much I have changed to be in this relationship, how I stoped seing my friends because he’s so jelous of me, how I stoped saying yes to thing that I WANT to do, how sufocating it is sometimes.
    I haven’t had a weekend for myself in two years, it’s been a long time since I don’t do smething without having to tell somebody and explain myself!
    Maybe I should stop reading your guide… lol

    • Erin Foster

      Oh no! :-( I’m sorry you’re having such doubts. No relationship is perfect and you have to know what your deal breakers are. It would be a shame if you gave up a lot of the things in your life that make you happy, for a relationship. Its possible to have it all. Maybe if you prove to him that he can trust you, then he will be more comfortable with you being independent. Good luck!!!

  • Joni John

    As always, I love this! I had just written this long thing about how I now know what it means to be single and loving it because I finally stopped going from one relationship to the next with hardly a breath in between… Bottom line, everyone needs to be ‘on their own’ for a while. Truly enjoying that time, and not just passing it while looking for the next partner. It can be the best time of your life, and I truly thought I would NEVER say such a thing. As if the only way to live is with someone by your side! So let me say it again, I LOVE this!!! Looking forward to your next article. :-)

  • Megan Bain

    Love this! So damn true. Thank you for being such an inspiration to a newly single girl :)

  • Mary Godova

    Please, I want to be little bit not that thin. I eat bread much. So, just don’t eat much. Imagine that you have no money for extra food.

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