Shower Therapy

I am a crier. I cry when I’m happy, moved, sad, frustrated or furious (I could seriously be ready to cut someone and I will be sobbing). I think I even cry when I am confused. Thus, it has become imperative that I find I solid hideout for my cries. I let the happy cries fly in public because it is pretty fun for others to watch me cry at Britney Spears videos (I get really happy for her, okay?), but the serious crying? Well, I save that for my shower.

The shower is a phenomenal place to cry – you can really go nuts there. It masks most noise (the acoustics make the dramatic cries fantastic though), it washes the day away (literally) and the whole running makeup business is taken care of.  It also minimizes crying side effects. I’m pretty sure that the massage of the shower on your head diminishes crying headaches and a cool splash prevents too much eye puffiness.  It’s generally a perfectly private place; I would not recommend a gym shower or any public shower if you have hopes for a successful cry.

These simple things make for a very therapeutic shower cry:

1. Hold it in all day as much as you can. Dream of the excellent release you will have as soon as you hit the shower. However, if you must cry right then and there at work, please see this fabulous Hello Giggles How-To for The Work Cry.

2. Make it a super shower. Do your whole extended beauty routine, shaving and all, and just get it all out. Light up an awesome smelling candle it’s you time, after all. Make sure you have some fantastic shampoo and conditioner. This is a great time to let conditioner sit for the correct amount of time (2 minutes? Take four and sob!) and using a great smelling body scrub of some sort is also a bonus. You can really exfoliate with some proper anguish.

3. Make sure your water heater works. This was an unspeakable tragedy for me the other week, although ice-cold water sure stops crying as you gasp for air. I felt like I was getting attacked with a machete instead, but who’s listening? It also presented quite a pickle: Where do you cry when you want to sob about your shower being freezing?

4. Shower tunes. You have to stop crying to sing along! I swear, if anyone ever heard me singing Fiona Apple in my shower… Forget doctoring. I would be signed to a label right then and there.

5. Wrap it up with a fluffy bathrobe and some laughs. I have yet to get to this step, my bathrobe is really lame (by lame I mean I don’t have one). Go set yourself up with some Netflix streaming 30 Rock or something, and perhaps a glass of wine or some hot chocolate.

There. No more tears! It’s all washed away, and down the drain. Oh, and you can always tell people you just got soap in your eyes for a minute.

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