I don’t know about you, but it’s not the terrifying costume that scares the crap out of me in haunted houses, it’s the feeling that grown men and women are one inch from my face, breaking the sound barrier with tortured screams. Now, don’t get me wrong – mommy likey being scared out of her mind, but there has to be some simple haunted house etiquette laid down, otherwise everyone would just be running amuck. Plus, I’m the kind of person that’s suspicious that this one time they are going to switch out the fake butcher knife for the real butcher knife and I am going to get stabbed in the boob till I bleed out. Too far?
Okay, since this is the season for families to come together and dress their toddlers up in embarrassing costumes so they may have photographic proof of their cuteness before they turn mean and rebellious in their teens, this is also the time where grown adults pay butt loads of money to have actors make their heart stop.
Haunted House Etiquette:
2. Don’t PUNCH the volunteers, you guys.
3. Don’t potato sack my head. That’s some Taken/Taken 2 junk right there.
4. When we get out, buy me two funnel cakes cause I’m a baller. Two.
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Images via Maker Studios