I don’t know about you, but it’s not the terrifying costume that scares the crap out of me in haunted houses, it’s the feeling that grown men and women are one inch from my face, breaking the sound barrier with tortured screams. Now, don’t get me wrong – mommy likey being scared out of her mind, but there has to be some simple haunted house etiquette laid down, otherwise everyone would just be running amuck. Plus, I’m the kind of person that’s suspicious that this one time they are going to switch out the fake butcher knife for the real butcher knife and I am going to get stabbed in the boob till I bleed out. Too far?
Okay, since this is the season for families to come together and dress their toddlers up in embarrassing costumes so they may have photographic proof of their cuteness before they turn mean and rebellious in their teens, this is also the time where grown adults pay butt loads of money to have actors make their heart stop.
Haunted House Etiquette:
1. If you are the man, you can’t cry. It makes everyone uncomfortable.
2. Don’t PUNCH the volunteers, you guys.
3. Don’t potato sack my head. That’s some Taken/Taken 2 junk right there.
4. When we get out, buy me two funnel cakes cause I’m a baller. Two.
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I went to a haunted house with my friend when I was sixteen. I was on the inside, against a wall, so when people jumped out at us, I flung myself into a tent wall. At the end of the journey, my right sleeve was spotted in fake blood. I couldn’t do that again if I tried.
Have you heard of Black Out Haunted House?? Pretty sure all the rules that apply to typical haunted houses don’t apply here.
Sign a waiver? Go in alone? No talking? And they CAN touch you? Most haunted houses don’t scare me. In fact, I spend most of the time cracking lame jokes and laughing but I don’t think I’m cool enough for a haunted house that makes me sign a waiver. Eek!
Oh my gosh, I just looked up Black Out and that sounds terrifying!!! I can’t imagine having to go in alone haha!
The only thing that saves me in haunted houses is that they’re not actually legally allowed to touch you. I’m the obnoxious girl running through yelling at her friend, “don’t worry, they can’t touch you. It’s illegal!” And basically ruining the whole experience for the people around me. Lol.