Hello, my name is Stephanie and I don’t like babies or how they get here.
Before you start judging me, I Googled it and it’s a real thing! It’s called “Paedophobia: The fear of babies and young children”. Alright, alright, maybe I don’t have a legit phobia, but babies are scary.
So, you get pregnant; you go through months of ridiculous cravings, awful morning (sometimes all day) sickness, you gain a billion pounds and more than half the time you’ll never get that awesome body back and your feet start looking like flippers but hey, let’s say you’re fine with that. I mean it IS the “miracle” of childbirth and all. Comes with the territory, right?
Then the time comes for you to give birth, you go through hours of labor and you ruin a perfectly good vagina or you get yourself a brand new 10inch scar, all for what, the nurse to hand you a screaming chicken? Yes, I said chicken because I think they look like featherless chickens for the first week or so. Plus, they come out all wrinkled. How does something new come out wrinkled? It has been properly incubated, it even has you eating like a cow to supply its constant demand for food and nutrients… shouldn’t it come out shiny and new and pretty? I just don’t get it.
Chicken? Baby? Baby Chicken?
Fast-forward a couple months and they get cute (if you’re lucky) – what now? Like what are you supposed to do with them? They become these smelly, screaming, poo-covered things that require your attention all the time. It’s terrifying.
I promise you, if the baby pukes… I’ll puke. We don’t even have to talk about it pooping because I’ve never changed a diaper, I don’t know how.
I think what scares me the most is that I don’t know what they’re thinking. I have absolutely no understanding of their kind and it makes me nervous. Have you ever seen them just sit there and stare? It’s almost trance-like. What are they staring at? Do they have thoughts?
I don’t know, maybe motherhood isn’t for everyone… I’m pretty sure it isn’t for me. And no, I wasn’t mugged or attacked by a baby. I just don’t want one.
Or who knows, maybe one day I’ll meet a baby, we’ll have a few drinks and a conversation, maybe find some mutual ground and I’ll change my mind. Stranger things have happened.
I’ve always teetered back and forth on whether or not I wanted to have kids. Then I got 2 amazing dogs and the “no” side to having children is really beating out the “yes” side. I love my dogs unconditionally and couldn’t imagine not having them and that’s what I hear people feel for their kids. So I sort of feel like all of my unconditional love has been given to my dogs and they return that love without tears, temper tantrums and consuming my life. Sorry if equating how much I love my dogs to how much people love their children is offensive. It’s just incredibly true.
**could not….
oh my gosh, ashley strain……i have 2 amazing dogs also and feel the EXACT same way. could now have said it better. people are always talking about cute or funny things their baby did and i follow up with a story about something one of the pups did…….they are my babies and i love em sooooo much.
Thanks for the solidarity dolls. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
Yep, I think the same thing , I don’t want to have children , ever!, I mean I know I am just 18 years old , but I have worked with children for a year , and I know I don’t like them , thankfully , It was just for a technical degree I was doing while I was on high School, and now I am studying something I really like, but I don’t like kids, and everyone I tell this , just gives me a weird stare ,and they don’t believe I will think the same in 10 years, I mean I do want to get marries , but I just don’t think I could be a good mother , I just can’t, I rather never give birth to have unloved , and uncared children
I don’t really want kids either. I got asked last weekend to hold someone’s child and kind of said, “No” a bit more rudely than intended. There are rumors going around that I hate kids.I don’t hate kids. But there’s so much more I want to do with my life, I don’t want to be pressure into doing things that will ruin my plans. I don’t want to get married yet. And I don’t really ever want children. I think having children should only be a privilege of those who can take care of them and those who are willing to change their life, not an obsession or as a mistake. Too many kids are a result of bad decisions and it screws up their lives.
It’s nice to know there are like minded ladies out there. Stay strong! Don’t get sucked in by that impossibly well groomed, tan, stylish pregnant lady that only gained weight in her stomach–chances are that won’t be you. You’ll be bloated, miserable and the chances of you ever sleeping again once you pop the thing out are between 2 and 9 percent. Live your life for you, “fulfillment” is easy to find down other avenues.
I feel the same way! You are not alone, Stephanie! I do not understand babies, they freak the hell right outta me (little kids, too, actually … very unpredictable creatures …), I don’t know what to do with them, they look like little old men regardless of gender, and the volumes of … extrusions and eruptions … ugh. People look at me like I have two heads when I relate these things, say it’s different with your own kids, and I say b.s. I know this because 22 years ago I had one! Just one. One was plenty, thank you very much. So, I know of what I speak! Babies are terrifying. The end.
By the way, the first pic of the Exorcist Baby is hilarious!
I’m a mother of a 6 year-old and a 7 month old, and I will be the first to say that motherhood is incredibly hard work, and I would firmly respect another woman’s choice not to pursue it. The pregnancy and physical birthing process is not the hard part, really. It’s all a blur compared to the forthcoming identity crisis, the loss of self, and the rediscovering of self that comes during the journey of growing and raising a human. There are incredible sacrifices to be made, and they must be done with hands wide open. But at the risk of sounding cliché, the love I feel for my children is nothing I ever experienced before – mindlessly selfless, possessive, aching and fierce. I’m happy it’s the choice I made, but I emphatically beg women to pause and think before conceiving because raising a family and perhaps juggling a career while doing so, is beyond challenging.
Completely agree. Babies have a tendency to just stare at me or cry. And the entire birthing process is like a horror movie on crack for me.
I don’t think its selfish to not want to bring a life into this world if you are not 100percent positive that a. you want one and b. you can give it a good life. I think it is selfish of people who have children that can’t afford even decent living conditions or basic needs and those who have no business owning a fish let alone a human life.
Definitely not alone! And I’m so glad I’m not alone, either. I’m getting married in November and I’m beyond tired of everyone telling me “you’ll change your mind” when I say I don’t want kids. NO. We’re not talking about going to see some new movie. We’re talking about changing my life (and my soon-to-be-husband’s life) FOREVER and I’m just not interested. Am I selfish? Yes. Yes I am. But I don’t care. The thought of something GROWING inside of me for 9 months is completely disgusting to me (no offense to everyone who thinks its a beautiful miracle. I just don’t). And then after that it’s a lifetime of raising the kid. No thanks. I’m not interested and I think knowing all of that about myself and knowing that my soon-to-be-husband feels the same way is responsible. Not everyone is meant to be a parent and marriage does not automatically equate to having babies and starting a family. I just wish more people were willing to accept it when a woman says “no. I don’t want kids” instead of trying to convince them of how wonderful it is to love a baby and all that jazz. I have no doubt but my life will be just as complete and fulfilling without kids.
You are not alone!!
What I love is going to a baby shower and being the only one who is childless/not preggers. Everyone is so anxious to tell me about their experiences. So I sit there listening to everyone compete as to who had it the hardest during pregnancy. Yeah, I’m really wanting a kid after hearing about all that. eek! Plus, I don’t have the mom instinct. I just don’t. People don’t understand and probably think I’m selfish etc. I think I’m being responsible. Had a friend who didn’t know that birth control doesn’t work when you take antibiotics (Remember that ladies), and she can’t get close to her child. She doesn’t have the instinct. She is actually a really good mom because she tries extra hard in an attempt to conceal that fact but the connection between mom and daughter isn’t there. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing this amazing experience but I think it is just years of being programmed that having babies is why I’m here. Well, it may be a truly wonderful experience that I am missing out on, but I refuse to risk ruining a childs’ life by finding out.
I’m so over the “talk to me in five years and you’ll be begging to have kids”. No! Babies (and in my rational fear all children ages 0-18) are awful and annoying, I would know, I was one. Some of us have to save the planet and make up for Kate +8 and the octomom.