Champagne Problems Say What You Mean, You Sexy Liars! JC Coccoli

You win some, you dim sum. Not gonna lie: When I went to dim sum this past Sunday for a brunching adventure with my flatmate, I was assuming it would be business as usual. And to an extent, it was. But something magical happened while we were sitting down for an hour wait in San Gabriel (which, if you know anything about dumplings, it’s like, the jam spot to be). Now, as I was perusing Asian beauty product stores and milling about the boba tea cafe (which I have noticed Asians drink like it’s forbidden fruit), I came across a thought a friend said to me at a party. “You should do a Champagne Problem on how people say to call them or email them, and then when you do…radio-dang-silence.” So, it got me thinking in this happy little town of pork mu shu: why do people tell you to call them, then just fall off the planet?

Do they ‘in the moment” follow their instincts and tell people “Let’s do lunch!” and then when the time comes, they feel the wrath of life and decide, “You know, I already have enough contacts, I really don’t need this one…DELETE.” Or, do we generally, as humans, say something, knowing it’s a complete lie? Why would they tell someone to call or email them if they didn’t mean for the person to follow through?

I laughed it over with my flatmate, who has the incredible ability to see life so clearly, and she claims that in this particular city (Los Angeles), people are so overstimulated that just as one great idea arises, another is not too far behind. Hence people, well, flake. On you. On me. On this poor guy waiting for the bathroom. It just happens that way. So, you can do one of two things: let it slide and assume that they are living a lifestyle that just can’t handle your sweet potato face OR you can do my personal favorite and each time it happens, school the mofo into understanding human being etiquette but in a not-so-harsh-but-still-a-tad-agro tone. Perhaps a comical direct message on Twitter that says, “Listen here, kiddo, we are all busy, but last I checked, you told me to hit you up. If it isn’t going to happen, that’s cool, just pull over to the side of the road and fill me in on that. #Truth”

Just some food for thought. 再见 !

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  1. How fun is this!