Honorary Husband

Ryan Gosling

According to urban dictionary.com, the term JUMPOFF is used to refer to someone (usually a girl), who is “strictly used for sex, nothing else.”

Shifting the paradigm to the other end of the spectrum, I’d like to use the term Jumpoff (a compound word in “urban” use), not as pejorative for a female, but as a term of endearment for a male.

Specifically, I’d like to use the term “JUMPOFF” for a male, who is very dear to us all.  A male, who has transcended his realm, and “jumped off” the silver screen right into the inner-most ventricle of my beating heart.  His name is Ryan Gosling, colloquially known as Ryan “Marry-Me” Gosling.  And he’s the type of man that would make any of us HelloGiggles girls proud to say “I Do.”

Whether he’s smirking (love the way you smirk, Ryan), brooding (love the way you brood, Ryan), “nuding” (standing nude-looking “rude”-as he does in his upcoming movie “Crazy, Stupid, Love”), Ryan Gosling is always adorable.

However, Ryan Gosling is more than just a “pretty face,” he’s also obscenely intelligent and totally talented.  It’s been almost a decade since Ryan won the “Grand Jury Prize” Award at the Sundance Film Festival for his work in “The Believer,” a film about a tortured, Jewish Neo-Nazi.  Since then, Ryan Gosling has been confidently comfortable pushing himself as an actor, as well as pushing the boundaries of society’s comfort level to create real, actual “art.”  Prioritizing his art is what makes Ryan Gosling so attractive, and it’s very clear that Ryan isn’t just some Hollywood actor with great abs (which are really great incidentally).

His spirit and pensive confidence make him a truly desirable candidate for the role of “husband” in a hellogiggles “real life” production of “Will You Marry Me, Ryan Gosling?”  In fact, call us any time Ryan, whether it’s for a drink, a coffee, a quick trip to Vegas to elope, or a nice low-key dinner: we’re always available.

Photo: Todd G/John K/Splash News Online

Edward Hansen is a writer, entrepreneur, and occasional ingenue. He lives in Los Angeles and is not a K.D. Lang impersonator.


  • http://www.facebook.com/bahsheepie Rachel Cilia Werdmölder

    I enjoyed this article and smiled all the way through, although I have to say that last section of the bio is what broke the silence with a giggle (:

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1465800134 Paige Raleigh Minka

    the perfect guy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/tiffanybd Tiffany Blake

    agreed on all accounts – I do!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=16831668 Allie Krukowski

    So happy I’m not the only one. Maybe he can put himself up for a self-promoting contest “Win A Marriage with Ryan Gosling.” Kind of going along the same lines of the film “Win A Date With Tad Hamilton” except, more permanent. Just a thought.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=38706274 Nicole Ramos Nesson

    I’m already married to a swell fella, but I’d take Ryan Gosling as an honorary hubby any day of the week!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=33300682 Rachel Tennial

    oh I so agree! He is more delicious than a Hostess snack cake, yum!

  • http://www.facebook.com/marylou.perkins Mary Lou Perkins

    I was about to post something really witty but then I got distracted. I’ll just say I’m still giggly about the fact he follows me on twitter. I don’t know how I can restrain myself from DMing him every day. Ah, lucky for him an ocean is between us…

  • http://www.facebook.com/ashfaye Ash Faye

    Not only have I been an avid Gosling fan since Breaker High, I somehow ended up with my own person stud muffin boyfriend who looks like this guy! I love it. I love Ryan and my boyfriend allows it, because they look alike!
    -Ashley ourbklyn.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603325088 Kirst Dunn

    i have one word to say and that is “word”.

    (no actually. i have more.) its like you wrote my heart thoughts.
    sigh. oh ryan.
    xo

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=601428322 Lauren Lua

    SWOON! Gosling is an absolute dream. Blue Valentine is the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. Anyone listened to his band, Dead Man’s Bones? Equally awesome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/liz.haebe Liz Haebe

    Seeing Ryan Gosling in person is like looking directly at the sun. You can’t believe he’s real, and you also can’t turn away. Saw him play with his band, and it was pretty darn great. I heart him. Hard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/leannawhatever Leanna Walczak

    He is such a wonderful actor and person. it’s very refreshing to see actors make their acting an “art” and get into the depths of it. I couldn’t Agree more to this! He is definitely swoon worthy. <3 couldn't love him more!

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