Warning: The following post contains a lot of spoilers for Game of Thrones episode “Beyond The Wall.”
The penultimate episode of Game of Thrones Season 7 saw Jon Snow and his group of misfits venture beyond the wall in what they quickly realized was a terrible idea. But before facing the army of the dead, the group — Jon, Jorah Mormont, Gendry, Tormund, Beric Dondarrion, Thoros of Myr, and The Hound — had a bit of down time.
In an unexpected turn of events, the men didn’t shuffle along in silence and instead treated us to a *lot* of small talk. “Eastwatch” saw the gang air their grievances about one other, but apparently they still needed to work some things out. Throughout the episode, the bros beyond the wall got to know each other a little better. Sure, it was to remind viewers exactly how they’re all connected, but it was also a quick way to show that the not-so-merry men are bonding and will *hopefully* have each other’s backs when the shit, inevitably, hits the fan.
But none of the small talk was as beautiful as The Hound and Tormund bonding over…Brienne of Tarth.
While I found most of the small talk fine and charming, I was living for this. The Hound is the biggest curmudgeon, and Tormund is so bizarre and chatty — in *literally* the best way possible — that there was no way it wouldn’t be a perfect encounter. And it was.
The conversation started off rocky as Tormund inquired as to why The Hound is such a crank and was met with a resounding “fuck off.” But the wildling saw through his tough exterior (see: sad eyes), and the talk quickly turned to the object of Tormund’s affections: Brienne.
“I have a beauty waiting for me back at Winterfell, if I ever get back there. Yellow hair, blue eyes, tallest women you’ve ever seen. Almost as tall as you.”
Hearing that very specific description, an incredulous Hound asks the wildling if he’s *really* with Brienne of Tarth, aka the woman who nearly killed him back in Season 4. Naturally, The Hound harbors some resentment towards her. But alas, Tormund conceded that he wasn’t with Brienne, yet.
He added, “I want to make babies with her. Think of them, great big monsters. They’d conquer the world.”
This is very aggressive and forward, considering The Hound and Tormund don’t know each other at all. In fact, they probably know of each other the least out of everyone in the magnificent seven. It’s also interesting as we’ve been watching Tormund flirt with Brienne for two seasons, but this is this first time we’re actually hearing him profess some serious interest in her. And, by the sound of it, he’s *very* interested.
The Hound, on the other hand, has less than zero interest in Tormund and Brienne’s potential love affair.
But — despite his dislike of Brienne, Tormund, and nearly everyone on earth — new team player The Hound comes to Tormund’s rescue after the wildling is nearly taken under the ice during the battle against the wights. See? It seems like the small talk actually paid off. Much to the surprise of me, ten million others, and even Tormund himself, he survived the mission and lives to see another day (and hopefully, Brienne).
Fingers crossed Brienne and Tormund reunite (and survive) next week’s super-sized finale!