In a recent interview with The A.V. Club, comedian and Parks and Recreation star Aziz Ansari opens up about the research he has been doing to write his latest stand up material regarding love. Ansari admits that love can be a beautiful thing, but that it is also “elusive and sadly ephemeral.” Ansari’s careful research of the subject matter may seem somewhat unconventional, but certainly the exploration of frustrations with relationships through comedy is not. While he warns his findings may be depressing, I think they really bring about an honest conversation.
Love is certainly not an easy subject matter to tackle. I agree with Ansari, it’s terrifying. We’ve all been single, or are single and even when we’re dating someone we can question whether someone is right for us. We are simultaneously scared of marriage, yet pulled towards it. I think the sad thing is not that love can be hard to find or that marriage doesn’t always last, but that we’ve allowed society to define a successful relationship for us. There are all different types of love and all different ways to attempt to find it.
Easier said than done, I guess. Dating can be absurd and it’s only become more so through the integration of technology with the process. While people can just go up to strangers they are attracted to and introduce themselves, like Ansari mentions, it can be awkward. Dating sites and apps may seem strange at first, but they allow us to take dating into our own hands. It’s frustrating to wait around to meet someone at a bar and then hope something develops from there. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go on a date and use a site to do so. It’s certainly not fool proof, I tried it and it did not work for me, but it was fun. I could’ve just waited to find someone I really liked, but it’s helpful to find out what doesn’t work in the meantime, so why not?
In the past couple weeks, I’ve heard of more and more people mentioning they went out with their roommates on Grouper and met another group of roommates for drinks- or met a guy that they connected with on Tinder – an app that shows you to people around you that you should know/meet. I say if you’re willing to try it -great. If not, I think it’s still possible to date in a more traditional way, it just might require more courage or patience. I think part of the excitement of dating apps and sites, is that we are able to actively do something about being single. We’re not just sitting around and waiting for relationships to happen. The integration of technology with dating is certainly a strange phenomenon and doesn’t guarantee true love, but it is certainly seems more positive than complaining. In the meantime, while we continue to search for someone we connect with, the bad parts and awkward moments are certainly worth laughing about.
Anzari’s interview with The A.V. Club definitely got me thinking about a lot of facets of love and dating (this post could have gone on forever). I really recommend reading through it and would love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Do you think true love is possible? Can it last? Are online sites and apps worth our time? Have you had success with online dating? Do you have any dating app stories to share?
Image via azizansari.com