From Our Readers Regrets: Fact or Fiction? From Our Readers

I was Skyping with a dear friend of mine back home in Bakersfield yesterday when the conversation turned a corner to us both proclaiming that our current state in our lives is not where we ever thought it would be. She said she had a few regrets. I asked for examples and listened as she ticked off only a small number, which, for someone in our age group, was not a whole lot as I have met and listened to many go through a laundry list of regrets.

Once she finished her very short list, I asked if she learned anything from those experiences. She said that she had and I replied that in that case, they aren’t regrets.

I am a complete eternal optimist, and while those who don’t know me well might judge me from who they think I am rather than learn who I really am, some might conclude that I am far from an optimist. They would be sorely and utterly mistaken.

My thinking is this: Life is hard. No one ever said it would be easy. People come in and out of our lives and we go through trials and tribulations that some of us are lucky to even come out of the other side of unscathed, but it is what we do with those moments where we are pushed to our limits, where we look back and long for a different outcome or a choice that could have been changed, that we decide to see the “silver lining”.

Some never realize that there was a lesson to be learned and hold onto that hurt never willing to change their story. After I said these words and she paused for a moment to think about my outlook on “regrets”, she said she liked that idea and would no longer use the word.

She and I had grown up with a timeline of their life mapped out in their head of where we would be, what we would be doing, what would have been accomplished. Then when the time comes, we realize that God has a funny way of showing us just how silly we were to make plans. Of course there is nothing wrong with having goal and forming timelines, but one should be made aware that your plans are never carved in stone but rather etched in sand, and they can change just as quickly as the tides do.

Instead of living a life of regrets, one should live a life of opportunities!

This, of course, is easier said than done, because with opportunity comes stepping out of your comfort zone and leaping into lands unknown. However, if one is able to keep an eye out for that “silver lining”, one will never loose their way.

So I ask: do you have any “regrets” or have you been able to see the “silver lining”?

You can read more from Andrea Sheperd on her blog.

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  1. I have a very similar view. It’s natural to have disappointments, but to dwell is to basically condemning yourself to be forever disappointed. Learn and move on, I say. But well said, dear. :)

  2. I applaud your outlook, and I share it. Stay positive!

  3. More people need to share this outlook on life! I feel the same way that you do and approach life in much the same way. Some people think I am silly for being an “eternal optimist”, but I don’t see any other way to go through life. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the trial and tribulations…they are all learning experiences and shape and mold the people we become! This is life, people, LIVE it and stop complaining about it :)

  4. I think that regrets are a waste of time and energy. Whatever happened, whatever mistake you think you’ve made, it’s done. You cannot change it. Regreting only results in frustration and negativity and has absolutely no point.
    Whatever the situation, just take it as it is and try to make the best out of it. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we can’t always see it. I choose to believe that. No mopping and no regrets, Gigglers! “It’s going to be OK in the end- if it’s not OK, then it’s not the end.”

  5. I saw this today and it really inspired me. Keep dreaming, keep learning, keep looking for that silver lining.

  6. Thank you for this! <3