Reasons Why I Wish I Was A Jolie-PittCharlotte Townsend

Very few days go by when I don’t think to myself, “Gosh, I wish I could be a Jolie-Pitt.” Before you get nervous that I’m a crazy stalker or a superficial weirdo, I would like to point out that it has nothing to do with the fact that my pretend parents just happen to be the two biggest movie stars alive.

While I had grown up watching movies staring Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, it was not until Mr. and Mrs. Smith came out, when I was in 7th grade, that the power couple really come up on my radar. It was not the all the gossip in the press that caught my eye, it was the fact that it was my boyfriend’s favorite movie. For Valentine’s Day I actually wrote, “Dear, Zack (My Brad Pitt)” and signed the card “Love, Charlotte (Your Angelina Jolie)”. Now that I think about that, that’s extremely embarrassing – can I blame that on the fact that I was 12 years old? I hope so.

Anyway, my true enthrallment with Jolie came about December 25, 2009. Being an actress, I TiVo every episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio that I can find in order absorb everything that I can. Luckily, that one lonely Christmas night I found that particular episode recorded on my DVR, because Angelina Jolie’s episode changed my entire view on life, approach to acting and perspective on the world. I suggest anyone who has not seen it to Google it now (well, after you read this article)! It is amazing.

In any event, I wanted to articulate the specific reasons why I wish I could be part of the most amazing clan on the planet: The Jolie-Pitts.

1.) The Ability to Travel to Every Country On the Planet With Educators

This past December, my father was working in Berlin, Germany and when we went around to the different sites that had so much historical value, I just fantasized about the ability to have a personal educator like the Jolie-Pitts have, to inform me on the historical relevance of each site. I wanted to know more than what the plaques said at Checkpoint Charlie or at the Berlin Wall; I wanted the deeper knowledge embedded within the locals. How awesome would it be to have someone who actually experienced the turmoil in the country to explain to you what happened? Oh, how I wish I was a Jolie-Pitt.

2.) The Capability to Start a Foundation

Did you know that 10-year-old Maddox (the oldest Jolie-Pitt) has his own foundation?! It is aptly named the “Maddox Jolie-Pitt Foundation” and promotes the sustainability of the rural economies in his country of origin, Cambodia.  The Foundation’s current projects include Park Conservation and Community Development. To learn more, visit here. How frickin’ cool would it be to be able to help in a corner of the world where you hold so much passion?! Oh, how I wish I was a Jolie-Pitt.

3.) Parents Who Embrace Everything About You

If you don’t live under a rock, you have probably seen pictures on the news or in the tabloids of the Jolie-Pitt clan. If you’ve seen any, you would understand that Jolie and Pitt don’t make their children fit into a mold. Shiloh, they’re first biological daughter, is often dressed in boyish clothing. When Maddox was young, he rocked the blue mohawk. Zahara is the girlie dresser. To sum it up, the children dress how they like, there is not one particular mold they all abide to. I’m not sure how you grew up, but my mother forced me into Lily Pulitzer and sweater sets instead of the Limited Too pants that zipped off into shorts that I much rather enjoyed. How cool would it have been to run wild and wear whatever to express how you really feel? Oh, how I wish I was a Jolie-Pitt.

4.) A Cool-Ass Name

Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt.

Paz Thien Jolie Pitt.

Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt.

Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.

Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt.

Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt.

Charlotte Kelly Townsend.

Can you pick the name that has not does not fit? How cool would it be to be able to have a name that nobody else in the world has? Oh, how I wish I was a Jolie-Pitt.

5.) Bedtime stories from Jolie and Pitt

Imagine all the intensity that Jolie and Pitt bring to the screen then multiply that by the amazingness that your own parents bring to reading bedtimes stores and envision the epic merging of the two. That is what the Jolie-Pitt kid’s experience every night. How amazing would that be?! Oh, how I wish I was a Jolie-Pitt.

There are many intricate reasons why I look up to and emulate Angelina Jolie, the most basic of which being that she is a public figure who has inspired me to be a better person and (for way, way, way in the future) an amazing mother.

Photograph provided by Joaquin Townsend


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  1. I was totally in love with The X-Files and David Duchovny and HAD to see everything he was in, and remember seeing Brad in Kalifornia and Angelina in Playing God. I didn’t really like the movies, but the eye-candy was astounding in each of them! Since then, I’ve been hooked :)

    I think it’s sad that anyone has to feel embarrassed or ashamed for like Angie… just because she is a huge star now. She’s still an amazing person.

    • I agree. I also feel that a lot of people who have negative feelings about her don’t really know much about her and have pieced together all of the ridiculous tabloid jargon instead of listening to some of her interviews.

      Charlotte Townsend | 1/28/2012 10:01 pm
  2. I agree and wish I was one too. But I more or less wish I was Angelina’s BFF. At almost 30, I am too old to be her kid. I have loved her since Gia and she is a true inspiration.