Reality TV: Have I Reached My Limit?

by Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Okay, so this has been a debate, especially amongst those in my industry (well not MY industry, but the industry I’m in… you know what I mean, right? ) about Reality TV for quite some time: whether we should support it or not, if it takes jobs away from actors and writers, if it’s shallow and mindless and you should basically be embarrassed if you watch it, etc. 

Well, up until about 3 years ago, I WAS embarrassed.  I didn’t talk about my Real Housewives obsessions, the bets I would make weekly on Bachelor/Bachelorette or the fact that every night I watched 11 people I didn’t know play quarters at 3am on Big Brother After Dark. You would only have the pleasure of hearing my impassioned rants about these people, their lives and how attached I felt to them if you were considered a VERY close friend. But the truth was/is: I loved it.  I looked forward to it.  I had countdowns to season premieres, or elimination days, although I drew the line at commenting on websites. After all, everyone has to have limits, right?

If you came to my house at any given time, you could probably find the soothing sounds of:

  • A cat fight between women on camels
  • Talented chefs running through a gas station trying to make a meal
  • Bruce Jenner giving some of the most solid advice ever (seriously people, he’s helped me through a moment or two)
  • An awkward nerdy girl from middle America finding her stride on a runway in the Far East

OR:

  • A girl shedding tears over her soulmate she met a mere 8 hours before. 
  • Bring. It. On.

Now, please don’t judge me too much here. My TiVo wasn’t ALL reality. I love me some Oprah (I still haven’t watched the finale, by the way… I can’t bring myself to do it yet). I have Glee, Nurse Jackie, Inside the Actors Studio, reruns of Friends and Giada At Home.

But just the other night, as I had my nightly “fall asleep to Bravo” time and watched grown successful women all talk about each other and their husbands, I realized that after an entire hour, not one stimulating conversation was had. Except for the one I had with one of my besties over BBM about these ladies, of course. It made me wonder: is this really good for me? For them? For anyone??
Granted, anything is fine in small doses, but I am on overload. It was actually stressing me out. I didn’t want to see these smart, beautiful women do this to each other. I didn’t want to see these seemingly great men trick an innocent girl into believing they liked her for the sake of competition (though I FULLY believe Ryan P. and J.P. are genuinely perfect).  I didn’t want to see anyone cry or fight or lose something (unless it was 200 lbs).  I believe in people more than this. I believe in THESE people more than this. After all, I’ve pretty much committed a good one fifth of my life to them over the past few years. Maybe more.
See, here’s why I may be feeling this way: I’ve recently entered into a very “positive phase” in my life.  I turned 30 and felt this huge shift. Yeah, yeah – everyone says it and I’m only a month in, but seriously, people, it happens! The past few months, I was feeling really stuck. I wasn’t loving much about anything in my life (except for my amazeball friends and family) and so I booked a trip to Spain with one of my dearest friends to just get away, recharge and say “Eff you!” to life for a minute. 

And the second I did that, stuff changed. Like, for REALS.  All the things I was trying to ‘manifest’ and working really hard for fell into place.  I suddenly had a million places to go, people to see, things to do and try… and I haven’t even gone on my trip yet!! It just shifted my energy and my perspective. I only wanted things that were going to continue this good feeling. No, my head is not up in the clouds and I am not all of a sudden this “idealistic, everything is sunny and bright 24/7″ girl, but I feel more in control of what I want to continue to contribute to this next phase of my life.  And I just don’t see where these shows fit in right now.

Look, in no way am I completely abandoning them. I mean, I HAVE to see what happens on the final Morocco episode, but I may need a break. I want to go outside a bit, to live my “reality” if I may and celebrate my friends that actually love and respect each other and relationships I have that are honest and fun.
I’m not meaning to pass judgement on these shows at all. They are entertainment, and at times have made me laugh, cry, and even be inspired. They ABSOLUTELY have their purpose and I have been a fan since day one. I’m also not saying that they’re only for people that are shallow or sad and depressed and bitter, people that want to take joy in watching other people spin out or for people that feel they need to live vicariously through someone winning and succeeding because they don’t go out there and do it themselves. It ain’t that deep people, I swear. 

I’m just saying that I, ME, MOI, may have pushed it a bit far in that it has affected me in ways that I can’t let it anymore.  I don’t want to worry about Ashley and if she will ever find that guy or if they have Pinot for Ramona in case stuff starts to go a little cray cray.. you know?

So there it is.  Judge me, question me, celebrate me… just don’t ever ask me to give up my Bethenny. I mean, its no coincidence her initials are BF(F). Her wit is beyond compare, her daughter is THE cutest, and I know that my Jason Hoppy is out there somewhere too. Maybe I am now living from a “Place of Yes”. I just need to turn off the TV and go outside.

Image via Zimbio.com

Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Jamie is an actress, proud Long Islander and HelloGiggles lover. She lives in Los Angeles and misses New York every single day.
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06.23.2011 | Comments(6)

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    My guilty pleasure is the housewives. They can be so entertaining but recently i feel like they have been focusing on brawls much more than they used to. Something about watching a grown man trying to fight someone in his family during his sons christening is disheartening. It just makes me worry that this is where all these shows are headed and if that is the case I may have to give it up. I could never give up Bethany either or Flipping out. Bethany and Jeff Lewis are just too funny.

    Ashley Kuprian | 06.23.2011

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    I totally agree. I feel like our brains have become mush! The more inspiring shows are on during the fall… Although I am guilty of loving America’s Next Top Model and Basketball wives(please don’t judge – the pain of admitting to that is horrific) and my personal fav… You’re CUT OFF :) Bethany actually is one of my other secret loves but not the NY Housewives… i can’t! It gives me anxiety lol.

    Angelica de No | 06.23.2011

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    Thank you. I needed to hear this.

    Kirsten Sasha Lopez-Palm | 06.23.2011

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    I loved the ep of Kardashian’s when Kim is sad about her break up and she’s out with Bruce and he’s like “do you want a donut? I’ll get you a donut!” :)

    Jessica Kutok | 06.23.2011

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    I have to disagree ont he Ryan P comment a la Bachelorette! I lurve JP! but how much more are you LOVING BEN F after last week? He’s like my wine drinking very own DREAM WEAVER!!! I totally get what you mean about these shows though! ugh dare I say it…MOB WIVES?

    Danielle Kerr | 06.24.2011

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    I have my fair share of guilty pleasure reality shows. (Iron Chef, RuPaul’s Drag Race, HW of ATL)…BUT, I think there needs to be a good balance of fictional plots with well-calculated characters along with the “reality.” When there are more reality shows than what I consider scripted artworks sometimes, there’s a problem right there.

    Bethaknee Blake | 06.29.2011