Okay, people, time to put your money where your mouth is. My posts about the British way of dating and How to be British had LOTS of comments about how you guys are total Brits… just born and raised in the wrong country.
Let’s put that to the test. Now, you will need to get a pen and some paper, or note your answers on your phones or something. When you get to the bottom, add up your scores and find out just how British you REALLY are.
Question 1: You bump into someone in the street – it was their fault. What do you do?
(a) Say nothing and just carry on
(b) Say sorry
(c) Make them apologise
Question 2: The fashionista-girl at work compliments you on your outfit. You say…
(a) “mumblemumbleyoursisnicer”
(b) “Oh, this? It’s only Primark”
(c) “Thanks – I love it too!”
Question 3: The first thing you think when you hear the words ‘Cougar Town’ is…
(a) Cardiff on a Saturday night
(b) A US TV show starring Courtney Cox
(c) The latest Ben Fogle wildlife show
Question 4: It’s the first sunny day of the year and you weren’t expecting it. What are you doing?
(a) Whatever I had planned – there’ll be more nice days
(b) Dropping EVERYTHING, grabbing the picnic basket and heading for the nearest open space
(c) Staying indoors. I hate the sun.
Question 5: …and what are you wearing?
(a) Clothes perfectly appropriate to the temperature and time of year
(b) Shorts or a skirt – these legs may never get a chance to see the sun AGAIN!
(c) Layers, with an umbrella in your handbag
Question 6: Who were Sooty, Sweep and Sue?
(a) Slightly dodgy Enid Blyton characters
(b) Hand puppets
(c) Eastenders characters
Question 7: He lives in a house, a very big house…
(a) …he’s in the 1%
(b) …in the country
(c) …in the Greater London area. (But he’s no-one I know)
Question 8: Your humour is…
(a) Witty, sharp and excitingly original
(b) Non-existent
(c) Dry and self-deprecating
Question 9: A meal at 7pm is…
(a) Supper
(b) Tea
(c) Dinner
Question 10: Someone drops their mug of tea in a greasy spoon cafe…
(a) What’s a greasy spoon cafe?
(b) You help them clean it up
(c) You join in the round of applause
Question 11: Out of Ant and Dec…
(a) Ant was PJ, Dec was Duncan
(b) Dec was PJ, Ant was Duncan
(c) Nobody really cares – but a whole generation will never risk paintballing
Question 12: Queues are…
(a) Amazing
(b) Tiresome – each man for himself is more evolutionarily viable
(c) Easily ignored
Answers!
1: a=5, b=10, c=0
2: a=10, b=5, c=0
3: a=10, b=0, c=5
4: a=5, b=10, c=0
5: a=0, b=10, c=5
6: a=0, b=10, c=0
7: a=5, b=10, c=5
8: a=0, b=5, c=10
9: a=10, b=10, c=10 (they are all valid in different parts of the country!)
10: a=0, b=5, c=10
11: a=10, b=0, c=10 (PJ was a character on teen TV show Byker Grove and got blinded by a stray paintball)
12: a=10, b=0, c=0
So…how British are you?
0-40 points
You’re not really very British, are you? I suggest you start taking yourself MUCH more seriously, and worrying more about what people think of you.
45-75 points
Don’t make a scene! It’s likely that you are quite British in character but not quite down with our pop culture. I suggest ten listens to Britpop Mix 1996, 3 cups of tea and a personal lesson from me about how to take the mick out of yourself for the amusement of others.
80-120
Well, you’re very British, aren’t you? Well done. I think.
Lovely image via ShutterStock.
85 … helps that i am british however i am too young for some of the points
95
Scottish Brits doing well.
I got 80. I always new i had a spot ‘o’ britin’ blood in me!
I got a 90. I was born in Kentucky and raised in Georgia. I think there may be something wrong with me.
Hmm, a lot of this look like it came from The Real UK Citizenship Test that was doing the rounds several months ago http://realcitizenshiptest.co.uk/quiz.php?n=1 Credit where credit’s due!
Oh blimey, I am gutted! I totally didn’t read that while writing the quiz but I definitely read it whenever it did the rounds years ago. I wrote this quiz over a huuuuge span of time…not sure ‘a lot’ of the questions overlap but 2 definitely do. Wasn’t in any way on purpose, honest!
Yay, 80! I’d usually call an evening meal tea, but if you go out to eat then you have to call it dinner!
Whoa- 100! Just as well really, considering I am actually British!
95! Love it! Do you remember the last scene of that Byker episode? Duncan went round the back of the castle paintball place and started crying, saying ‘He cannae see! He cannae SEE!’ That’s PROPER acting. Powerful stuff.
Why aye man!
90, but I am actually British… just living in the US… the ones I got less points on are becuase I’m too nice to clap at people dropping cups of tea and the like… and I got 0 for 12 because I have a huge aversion to queues since coming to Texas…
I’m about a 65. I’m not British, but it’s fun pretending!
I got 85!
90, I’d have been bitterly dissappointed if I weren’t seeing as I am Brit born and bred! The best question has got to have been ‘clap when someone drops something’, you actually get really weird looks if you do that in another country as I’ve found out on an archaeological dig with a lot of my friends.
But now I have ‘Lets get ready to Rumble’ on a loop in my head, so cheers!
1000 points for the Blur reference!
Brilliant quiz! I actually laughed out loud at the ‘applauding when other people drop stuff’ question, it is so true and probably something you could only get away with doing in the UK. I imagine it would come off as rude everywhere else! I am actually British, born and raised, and I have to say that a meal at 7 is dinner! Tea is when you eat your meal early, like 5-ish! But then I am from the south and others may disagree…
but which one was PJ and which one was Duncan?!
80 – still traumatised by the PJ & Duncan paint balling episode
100 for me, I always have cold feet so I’m usually wearing socks, but can i have bonus points because i had actual afternoon tea in London today?
(love the question about pj and duncan!)
100 for me, no surprise there!
60. Pretty good for someone who was born and raised in America, and has never been anywhere near Britain, and knows no one British.
Hahahaha 115!