Ruby's Corner

Queen Bees and Everyone Else

When you’re my age, popularity matters to some people and that can make girls really competitive and mean.

Welcome to my life! :/

We all have been/will be bullied by horrible mean girls (and mean boys, but boys are different in the way that they are mean to each other) and frankly, it really sucks to be bullied. Some people are mean without even realizing it, they’ll just look at you with this expression on their face that says: “You Are A Loser.” Or worse, they’ll say it and think it’s funny! Can you believe that?

If you think you have mean girl tendencies, here is how you can NOT be a mean girl.


Even if you don’t know the person, if you see them bummed out, be nice to them.


Talking about other people will make drama and after the drama has been sorted, even when you are friends again, it isn’t the same. I mean, you know you can’t trust someone who says things about you so why put yourself in the position where your friends won’t trust you? Just don’t do it.


Don’t tell anyone’s secrets. It makes you a big mouth and nobody likes one. Plus, if you’re a blabbermouth and you have mean girl habits, you’ll use your friend’s secret as a mean-girl weapon.


I hate when people do this. If it’s not your drama, please don’t get involved. Seriously. It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoying. Because you will say things to the people involved that will just hurt their feelings. And it’s mean. Trust me. JUST DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!


You know what I’m talking about – that death ray look that makes a person feel super-small and everyone laughs at you? That’s mean. Also add eye rolling and general annoyed expressions. When you make faces, it shows the people around you that you’re mean and even if people think it’s funny, it’s not. It’s just mean.


The worst kind of gossip is rumors. I mean, all gossip is bad. But to spread a rumor just to make drama is horrible. Blech.


Don’t talk about it. It will get around to them and make more DRAMA. You don’t have to make fun of someone you don’t like, by the way. That’s mean and super uncool. Just steer clear of the people you’re not into or don’t think are your type. That’s a whole lot better than pointing at their brand new hat and going, “Oh, check her out!” with a cackle.


If you’re sitting at a table with all your friends and someone walks up that you’re not really friendly with wants to sit at your table, don’t give that person a dirty look and shoo them away. Let the person sit and eat her lunch. For extra credit, talk nicely to her!


By the way, two against one sucks, or any version of that. If you are BFF with two other girls and one of them gets into a kerfuffle, a) don’t get involved and b) don’t side with one of the girls. Just stay away from ganging up on anyone.


If someone refers to you as a Queen Bee, it means they think you are a mean girl. Don’t be all proud of it. Look in the mirror and figure out how to be your sweet self again.

What are other signs that someone is a mean girl and what’s your advice to stop being one? Tell me bout it, either here or on Twitter @rubykarp or on my Tumblr,

I hate mean girl behavior!! Ughhhhh!

Whispering girls image via Shutterstock.

  • Mary Beth Revesz

    I think I am going to give this to the girls in my 4th grade class. They are lovely, but sometimes need some reminders to be awesome.

  • Sarah Lippens

    You rock Ruby! Keep up the positive attitude, you will go farther in life than any mean girl ever will 😉

  • Alexandra Rae

    This is awesome. And if you are being bullied.. just stay positive and stand up for yourself. Tell a trusted adult. When I was your age, I was severely bullied and it was horrible but I am 21 now and stronger than ever because I knew it wasn’t going to last forever. I was lucky enough for people in my life to tell me that and everyone should have someone to tell them that.

  • Jodi Styner

    I think the biggest reason mean girls are mean is that they lack self-confidence. It sounds weird because they often come across as the most confident girls, but they’re mean in order to put the pressure of being cool (or not being cool as it were) on someone else. So my biggest advice is to just recognize and understand that everyone feels like you do. No one feels all that secure and confident. Embrace that normal awkwardness instead of turning it into a reason to be mean.

  • Jacki Peketz

    Love it Ruby! I wish I would have had this advice when I was younger! I might not have ruined so many relationships! I’m glad you already know the right way to behave and don’t have to learn the hard way about the importance of being a good person!

  • Jennifer Louise O’Neill

    I think I’m going to give this link to about 300 people. Whether they will read it, take it in and/or actually care is another thing.

  • Carrie Margaret

    I must say this is totally accurate!

  • Melissa Adams

    I wish I had this when I was teaching my first class. The girls were so viscous to each other, and as hard as I tried I couldn’t break through to them.
    You are so amazing mature and incredibly sweet. Keep being yourself, eventually you’ll find girls just like you to surround yourself with.

  • Amanda Jackson

    I LOOOVE this! You are so cute and have soooo much wisdom and maturity! I definitely took something from this. The way you understand peoples feelings is amazing. You are so sweet, thank you for posting this. It was funny AND inspiring! 😀


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