Avoiding Awkward Situations

Perfecting Your Party Pose

Just like any other time in my life (or perhaps more so) I feel awkward at social gatherings. I often find myself standing, trying to look confident, but my posture says it all: “I’m shy, scared, out of place and confused.” This is because my typical party stance is what I call “the Mr. Peanut”. You know how he has his legs crossed and he’s leaning on his cane? That’s what I do and I don’t think it looks very inviting. So here are some party stances that are sure to get you out of your head and into some conversations.

The Thinker:

Stand with your feet hip width apart. Keep one heel on the ground, and with the other foot, point your toe touching the floor. Place one hand delicately on your hip and place the other hand on your chin, as if you’re deep in thought. The idea behind the feet placement is that your flat foot says, “I’m down to Earth” whereas your pointed foot says, “I’m slick, sly and ready for conversation.” When combined with the thinking hand placement, you look like the smartest and most compelling person at the social gathering.

The best place for the thinker is by a window. Looking outside adds a degree of edginess to this pose. However, if for some reason you can’t get near a window, leaning against a chair can also do wonders as can standing by a painting or photo on a wall or a closed door. If done correctly, the thinker demands attention and should cause everyone to run over to you, begging you to tell them all what you’re pondering.  So, make sure you’re prepared with an answer. If you want to keep it short and sweet just say, “Life.” That’s deep.

The Eater:

This pose is pretty self-explanatory – just stand by the food table with a full plate of whatever you desire. Don’t eat it just yet, stand there for a moment, with your plate extended and stare at it longingly and proudly, until people gather around you. Then you can all talk about the food as you proceed to eat together. The eater can be the life of the party, so if you are feeling dull and unenthusiastic, just run over to the food table. And if people don’t gather around for conversation, at least you get to eat some great food.

The Leaker:

Although it may seem gross to stand by the bathroom, there is always a group of people outside of a bathroom and you are guaranteed to make some friends or have some interesting conversations. The pose you want to have in a bathroom line is simple, you want to be saying, “Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom but we’re all here together. Let’s talk!” In order to convey this, all you need to do is keep your arms to the side, slightly turned out, lifted about 30 degrees. Keep your stance firm, with your feet on the ground, slightly turned out in first position. Make sure to keep your face expression neutral and your ears open. That way, you can join in conversation with ease and transition your emotions swiftly and accordingly.

The Superhero:

This one is difficult to pull off. It requires poise, strength and creativity. A wind source is also necessary. You must first find a fan or vent, an open window on a windy day will work in a pinch. Then stand in front of it, hands on your hips, feet firmly rooted to the ground hip width apart, smile and look proud. Try not to blink because this will make you look like a human and take away your superhero quality. Again, this pose is extremely difficult to master. All forces must come together perfectly to make it happen. But, if and when they do, you will be sensational, the star of the party, the belle of the ball, a real superhero. As the superhero of the party, however, you aren’t expected to save anyone because you’ve already saved someone… yourself.

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