The Week In WHAT?!People Struggle To Imagine Life Without The InternetJonathan Zipper

Despite how it feels when you open your door right now, we’re in March. That means whether or not you believe in what your local groundhog said a few weeks ago, spring is just around the corner. These arctic temperatures are on their way out, right? RIGHT?! At least someone’s enjoying them.

This weekend also marks the end of the widely lauded fifth season. Awards season, of course! So, before you put the final touches on your Oscar parties, treat yourself to an all-new “The Week In WHAT?!

They Can Take Our Remotes, But They Can Never Take Our WiFi

Lets start off with a single question pop quiz, shall we? If someone challenged you to give up something, which would you rather lose: television or the internet? If you chose the latter, then you’re in the majority. According to a new survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, more Americans would find it harder to sacrifice internet access than their cell phones, televisions, and landlines. Fun fact: the survey also revealed that women had a harder time detaching themselves from the internet than men. Anyone remember what we did before the internet?

Book ‘Em, Danno — And Another Round Of Cocktails!

If you’re into role playing or you’ve always wondered what it might be like to spend a night in jail (without actually getting arrested), then you’re in luck! A former New York police officer unveiled plans to open an NYPD-themed bar in the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood this April. “I can bring you in in handcuffs and you’ll actually think you’re in a precinct,” said the bar’s owner Stephen Barounis. After 27 years on the force, Barounis retired only to realize he missed being on the job. To make up for it, he developed plans for the new watering hole based on a police station, which will feature a police car, a precinct desk, a jail cell and a commissioner’s room. NYPD Blue fans, get ready to unleash your inner Sipowicz!

Look Who’s Choking Now

Six-pack plastic rings aren’t the only man-made items lurking in oceans and putting marine animals at risk. Divers in Australia recently came across a grey nurse shark that got tangled up in an elastic cord. The helpless shark, which is one of only an estimated 1,500 and considered an endangered species, began choking as the apparatus covered its gills. Along with a veterinarian, the divers guided the shark to the surface for treatment. They managed to save the shark and set it free.

Luck Be A Lawman Tonight

Should you be lucky enough to win the lottery one day, you’ll probably want to avoid trying your luck again before claiming your prize. That’s because chances are you won’t be as lucky as 22-year-old Scott Lowe, who was pulled over by police for speeding after winning big on a scratch-off ticket. After Lowe explained the situation, the officer opted not to ruin the moment and simply issued him a verbal warning. He also encouraged him to drive safely — because lightning sometimes strikes twice, but probably not three times in one night.

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via Cloud9 Real Time.

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