The A-to-Zs Of Spec-ta-cleezPart 1: A Is For AllenKrista Freibaum

OVERVIEW: I know this is a site for every gal but let me just start out by saying that finding the perfect “glasses” pic of Woody Allen in the context of what it’s going to mean to ladies everywhere is virtually impossible for several reasons.  First off, you don’t want to choose an image where he’s too old because his eyes look all red and well, old. To be honest, I just don’t like looking at him at all in this context.  Along those same lines, all the old Woody pics are recent, which means he is basically sandwiched next to his wife/adopted daughter Soon Yi in most of the pics – which makes them equally distasteful and creep-out-y to me personally for what I assume would be obvious reasons.

Then I came across some other picture where Penelope Cruz is sort of posed, like pulling Woody’s old head into her bosom.  The worst part is,  I don’t even think it’s supposed to be funny. Wait, I just found another one and this one is candid! Oh and here’s another one with him playing a clarinet which I was actually sort of like but I’m thinking maybe it will be too controversial.  I don’t even know anymore.

Wow, so let’s get started.  This is the picture I chose, deal with it.  Woody Allen would be nothing without his signature frames.  They are classic and stand the test of time.  You see these glasses out of context and think WOODY ALLEN.  They attest in the most perfect way to his nerdiness but they also let you know that there’s a glint of humor in everything he does.  Even when he’s silent, they make him look like a genius but still cute and a little bit helpless (which totally works to his advantage being an undercover creep and all).

WHAT THESE FRAMES SAY ABOUT YOU: You don’t take yourself overly seriously but that doesn’t mean you’re not still neurotic as hell.  You like your underwear folded just-so, but you’re also kind of a slob. ie. you’re a walking contradiction and that’s just the way you like it.

SHOULD YOU CARE/DARE TO GET LADYLIKE: These frames are also great because they look super cute on ladies. Same desired effect as the above. except sub out the creepiness and sub in the sexy. All this without making you look like a clerk at American Apparel?  Yes please!

TAKE YOUR OBSESSION TO THE NEXT LEVEL: So you want a pair of creepo glasses… just kidding! These are so cute and I would love to tell you where to procure some.  Best bet for something similar would be vintage/used RayBan frames or Sol Moscot’s.

ALSO, WHILE I’M DOLING OUT FREE ADVICE: I just watched Manhattan Murder Mystery again and it’s amazing.  Watch it.  Live it, maybe don’t but watch it and love it.

Composite Imagery via The Cinema Source 

  • Skye Wilson

    Love this! Love glasses, love Woody, love it all. Looking forward to B! :D

    Also, I literally watched Manhattan Murder Mystery yesterday. A+ film!

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