Isn’t it amazing how we all started drinking almond milk and freaking out about nail art at the same time? It’s like the same dawning of awareness that happened when we all started making our lists. There reaches a time in every lady’s life when you make one. It’s the one part of The Secret that we all follow, sometimes without even knowing about The Secret. We tell our friends to write lists when we’re counseling them through break-ups, we write our own lists during “will I ever meet the one” freak outs, and then we compare our lists over Thai food carryout and Bud Lite Limes (What? They’re really refreshing).
What I’m talking about is taking pen to paper and writing out all the attributes of your ideal mate. Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker recommends that you identify 5 non-negotiables – things you must have in a partner. For a lot of people on the show that includes things like religion, financials and education. And you really are only allowed to have 5. But because we are girls, we craft long Dear Santa wish lists that may or may not include diagrams, links and pictures, and also highly important things like hair color, eye color and specific future wrinkles (laugh lines, duh). And the more break-ups we go through, the longer our lists get. For example, I will no longer date male models.
Meeting a single girl without a list is sort of like meeting a girl who has never orgasmed. You’ve heard they existed but hoped they weren’t real. (And if you are one of the latter, I think we know what the first thing on your list should be.) The only people excluded from list-making are those rare unicorns that actually married their first loves. They’re mythical, special and should be revered. I like to believe that they’ll never have to make a list because some angel already granted all their wishes for them. And also I hope they’ve never orgasmed.
Making this list helps you know yourself better. Will someone who dances in the kitchen make you happy? Or someone who knows his way around a bar but is not too weird about it? (Like he obsesses over lavender biters and antique jiggers.) You see my point: you just want a man that is going to make you a good drink, and not be girlie about it. You can put that on your list.
Recently I’ve been honing my own list. When you are younger there are always more physical traits listed. I wanted a tall guy with dark hair and a beard with great style. I still want that, but it’s no longer allowed on my list. Cause when you’re older you start to focus on character traits. So of course the list goes something like a nice, kind, funny, caring, emotionally mature person who puts my needs ahead of his own often.
But aside from all of that, it’s important to have your own unique thing that Stanger wouldn’t recommend but is still something to shoot for like “I want a man who can appreciate my need to eat hot soup even on the hottest days of summer.” It doesn’t make me weird; I just love soup. But if I do find that person then I will lick that soup out of your prickly beard, you mysterious tall dark and handsome soul mate!
Let me know what’s on your list & I’ll bring the Bud Light Limes.
Photo from WhoisMich