The greatest way in which girls are “complicated” isn’t when we order lattes and then find them to be too foamy, or how we buy new shoes but inexplicably we still need new shoes. It’s the way that we repeat the phrase “I just want to meet a nice guy” and when one appears, we immediately start to wonder if he’s psycho.  It’s so wonderfully ironic that Alanis choked on it and died. No, really, you guys, where is she? I’m sort of worried.

As girls, we love to try and decipher meaning for which perhaps there is none. Like if you look at the clock everyday when it happens to be 4:44, does that mean something? Probably not. But to most girls, it will. Okay, fine that was a personal story. Seriously though, everyday. What does it mean? It freaks me out.

So when he doesn’t call, it can mean they’re not into it (read: you), or they’re totally into it… but just playing it cool. Or they’re just busy. Cause we all know the rule – everyone who is busy is definitely nowhere near their phone or email, you know, since both are available on the device that never leaves your sight. But either way, any inaction by someone else towards you will be given some meaning.

Paradoxically, when a guy does call, and more specifically when he calls often, we’re at a loss. It’s exactly what we think we want. We even put it on the vision board. Until we get it. Then there’s nothing to figure out, so we figure he must be nuts. Take it a step further. Let’s say you are the happy recipient of flowers sent to your work by a seriously excited suitor. In the movies, we are glowing and biting our lip as we read the card, then we clutch it to our bosom and mouth, “I love him.” But in reality, it can be a little overwhelming. Especially if you work in an office with 6 dudes. And they all want to know every last detail of your said arrangement (and I don’t mean the flowers).

So ladies, what’s wrong with us? If it’s too soon, we start to wonder about the feelings behind these bold gestures, like, does he think he loves me? Could I love him? Is that really the man I’m going to marry? And more so, you start to wonder if this said suitor is bold or if he’s just plain crazy. The answer to that is hard to know.

But one thing is apparent – we are in the wrong here. When we ask for nice guys, they do appear. A nice guy will shower you with affection, fall on your every word, think of you and your happiness first, and care for your general well-being – and you wont ever have to question those actions. You can just bite your lip and tell him you love him. So lets make sure that when we ask for him we actually mean it. The magic genie lamp might run out of them before we are ready. Cause the harsh truth is that it’s 4:44 and you are the one who’s maybe a little bit psycho.

Guy with flowers image via Shutterstock