Teaspoon of Happy Ouch! My Teenage Life Sarah May Bates

Or, everything sucks.

This is a message to all that might be stuck in that place where everything sucks and it seems like it’s not going get any better. Maybe you hate your parents, your teachers; you hate everyone and no one seems to understand you. You wish you were prettier, you wish you were skinnier, you wish a boy liked you back, you wish a girl liked you back, you wish anyone liked you back. Maybe you think you’re ugly or stupid or you wish your life was over because you can’t bear it any longer. Maybe someone or something has hurt you so bad that it makes you hate getting out of bed. If this sounds like you, know that you’re more normal than you realize. Being where you are right now is one of the most difficult places you will ever be for the rest of your life. It’s the hardest, darkest and most difficult because of how young you are and how trapped you feel by this age. Know that this tough part life will be shorter than you think, and just past it, life gets quadruple-y better once you have control over your life and what happens in it. Keep going through the motions and move through this time as best you can. You have NO IDEA how much better it gets once you get into adulthood.

Simply put: Bear it with as much grace as you can muster. Keep going through the motions and try to stay safe throughout it. Stay in school, don’t hurt yourself, don’t hurt others and remember that this is a fraction of your life. Even though you’re in a lot of pain, it’s a common kind of pain and you’re not alone even when you feel the most alone. Talk with friends about it, talk with someone about it, read books about it, know that you are one of many, and move through this time. Look for any kind of help from any source. (Avoid drugs…those are never helpful.) Google it. Check a book out from the library. Don’t be lazy about it. Just get through this and know that dealing with life will never be this hard again.

“The future…”: You have no idea who you will become. You have no idea what you will look like, who you will be in love with, who will love you back and how different that place will be compared to where you are right now. You will get out of school, you will get a job, you move out on your own and you will figure out who you are. You will also find your tribe: the people that love and understand you. You will get to know yourself and love yourself in a totally different way that’s more rewarding than anything you know right now. You will feel so differently about life and the future. You will know how worth it is to move through all that crap because of how different life is past it. The muck and pain of life will be manageable because you’ll have much more help and tools to deal with it, for numerous reasons. The main thing is everything will be different and better than it is right now. You will be a different person and your life will be better. It’s hard to tell this now because you’re unhappy and searching for a way out, but this is the hardest it will ever, ever be. Move through this time. Greatness awaits you and it’s so worth it to reach it.

I know it’s hard when you are alone. It can seem endless and hopeless. But here’s a message from the future that I’d send back to myself if I could. You will be okay and you will one day be happy. Just get through this time. It will never be this hard again. xox My love to you all, Sarah

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  1. Thank you, thank you so much for writing this. Right now I´m going through a tough time. I finished high school, but I decided to take a gap year. Now I´m working an actually I hate my job. I also don´t want to study right now and I just feel so worthless and useless. I wish I´d figured out everything. But as you´re saying; everything gets better, so I’ll just hold on to that ..

  2. I’ll definitely start posting on your blog. Seems like your fans get a faster response.

  3. I love this! I was told this many times when I was going through my adolescent years. There were times I wanted to believe them and times I wanted to make them feel how much pain and confusion I was feeling at the moment. This is something EVERY young girl (or guy) needs to read and keep handy whenever things get a little uncontrollable. It’s funny because when we are younger we so desperately want to figure things out but when we reach adulthood all we want is to take a break from having everything so figured out all the time. It actually makes me smile to think about it. This is lovely – I will share with my baby sister who is turning 13 in a few weeks. =)

    • I love that, so true. I hadn’t thought of that before – longing for the lack of knowledge is totally a grownup thing to do… thanks Johanna! xoxoox

  4. I definitely identify with this. I was the girl in school who wished the ultra-hot guy in her English class would ask her out, breaking the stereotype that attractive guys dated the dowdy girls in school. It never happened, but that doesn’t mean things won’t change after high school. My advice is: there is always someone to talk to. Find the one person you can confide in, no questions asked, whom you know you can trust. It’s hard, but things will even out a bit once school is over.

  5. I think this is great, in my opinion. I would have liked to have heard this when I was growing up. Sometimes I think about “younger me” and think “If I had only known”. I’m sure someone will read this, and it’ll lift their spirits.
    xoxo

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  7. I am not quite sure that it gets better through adulthood, especially when we (girls) tend to have drama-teenage-moments even then. :D

    • I hear you girl, but it’s definitely a lot easier when you have a bit more wisdom under your belt. Even when we do have a few tough drama-queen times. :) xoxo

  8. I didn’t have a rough adolescence. I’ve always been a pretty quiet and obedient child and I’ve never had a problem with my parents. Sometimes I feel like I should have been a bit more “teenager” back then. It helps to let things out, sometimes.
    “Bear it with as much grace as you can muster” is probably the best advice one could possibly give, for everything, ever. xxx :)

    • Thanks Amalia, so true. I think you should be happy you were never a problem-teenager! It’s a lot more dangerous when you’re that young. AND I think you turned out great. :) xoxo