“Pretty sure karate was invented by a guy and a bee.” – @ConanOBrien “An invisibility cloak for like 10 pounds of my…

“Life is so complicated & beautiful & scary that sometimes I feel like my whole body is melting. Honestly, it’s prob why…

“Let’s be real, we all have a little Amanda Bynes in us!” – @sofifii “Lately I’ve been getting constant ringing in my…

“‘Sweet tooth!’ – Impressed hillbilly to another hillbilly.” – @badbanana “It’s amazing what a bit of sunshine and lighter longer days can…

“Let’s do this! (largely in part because I can’t handle the word ‘fiance’)” – @LOandJAKE2013 “Sometimes putting on a sweater feels like…

“If he didn’t notice you cut bangs, girl, drop him” – @miserywench “Shaved off my beard, took me 30 minutes and I…

“Just ordered a family meal. There is no family, just me lol” - @mzeld “Am I facing the day? No, but I’m glancing…