“I hate when women say they have a boner for something. Like “These tacos give me such a boner.” It’s just really…

“It’s probably bad when a guy messages me on okcupid and I literally make a vomit sound.”–@kittiesnkitties

“I want to sleep on a bed of chocolate cake.”-@BeverlyLove

“In the game of adulthood, I am losing.”-@apocalypstick

“The eyebrow lady always wants to do my mustache!” -@vAshleyNicole

“The outside is bright and I don’t like it.”–@Kil1ertofu

If you want a boyfriend really bad, just scream really fast at an attractive boy “MYFUTUREBOYFRIENDSAYWHAT” and if he says “what?” you’re…

“But I love food, why would it want to poison me?”-@_Sleepysmile