I'm Calling You Out

An Open Letter to People Who Put Their Dogs in Strollers

Dear People Who Put Their Dogs in Strollers,

Yes, you.

Okay fine that is cute, but also SO wrong.

Let me start off by saying:

WHY?!

And follow that up with:

But seriously. Why?

I’d like to think of myself as an open-minded person, ready to embrace new trends, like a cool mom who just wants to, “relate.”

When cronuts became a thing and I was told it looks like a donut but tastes like a croissant, I said to my non-existent boyfriend at the time, “Sure. But can I call it a cro-SANT and not be one of those obnoxious people who over-pronounce a pastry’s name because they spent a week in Paris?”

When I see someone wearing a beanie with shorts. I smile and think to myself, “Ha! It’s never too cold to be wearing a knit cap but too hot to NOT be wearing pants! That person is really giving none of the cares but also all of the cares simultaneously. God Bless.”

When my entire Instagram feed is clogged with the same sunset, and suddenly everyone I follow has become some sort of “artist” thanks the rise filter and the colors in the sky, I shrug and think, “to each his own.”

BUT WHEN I SEE ADULTS PUSHING AROUND DOGS IN STROLLERS AND ACTING LIKE THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL AS IF TO SAY, “WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME? I AM JUST PUSHING MY DOG AROUND AT THE GROVE. NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG.”

I.

Just.

Cannot.

I have to draw the line somewhere.

Dog strollers are where I draw that line.

I get it. People love their dogs.

And in LA people REALLY love their dogs.

Personally I am more of a cat person. But dogs are great doing their dog things! Like being a dog! It’s really…dog-tastic.

But putting a dog in a stroller.

No.

To help you out, I spent hours crafting this list of things that you can put in a stroller:

1. Babies
2.
3.

Babies can’t walk. You can put a baby in a stroller, because there’s really no other option. Dogs can walk. Therefore, you cannot put a dog in a stroller. You also cannot put a baby on a leash. I’m looking at you, moms at amusement parks everywhere.

If and only if your dog cannot walk, then you can put that puppy in a stroller. But stroller dogs should come with a warning, because there is nothing more terrifying than looking into a stroller expecting to see a cute little baby, but instead locking eyes with a snarling pit bull. Maybe a dog handicap stickers to alert those around you, “No, I’m not being obnoxious. I really do not have a choice.”

Not only are people putting their dogs in strollers. Companies are selling strollers specifically for dogs. For the definitely reasonable price of $178.13 dollars, you too can look like a crazy person.

Let me leave you with this:

I understand this is a free country. And I understand you gotta do what you gotta do. But think before you put your dog in a stroller and remember it’s a pet. Not a newborn.

Respectfully yours,

Gabi Conti

Image via here

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