On Being Visibly Tattooed in a World That Isn’t
by Danielle Hampton
It’s a strange thing, to be visibly tattooed in a world that isn’t. Looking back, I never would have imagined myself as a tattooed person. Even in high school I found tattoos to be shocking and something so far from what I imagined for myself, although I’d always been intrigued and in admiration of those who chose to do so. But life changed and my interests shifted. I found myself getting more into music and gaining a look at the bigger picture of my life and how I lived it. Somewhere along the line, I fell in love with the idea of putting pretty things permanently on my body and now, ten years later, I find myself with quite an assortment of colorful pieces. Some of them have meanings, some don’t, but they all tell the story of this life I’m living.
I thought about it at great length before I took the plunge and tattooed my back, ribs, chest, arms and later my legs (you can read about all of my tattoos over on my blog). I’m an over-thinker by nature, so I waited until I was 21 to get my first. I knew the kind of reactions I would get from strangers; I knew that some people just wouldn’t get it and would judge me right off the bat solely based on my appearance. That was a given. There seemed to be an imaginary line of “too many”, at least where I’m from, and if you crossed that line, it confused people. Why on earth would you do that? What are you going to do when you’re 80? Small tattoos – back tattoos, ankles, maybe even a cute saying on your wrist – all “normal” in the eyes of my peers and most older folk. But go beyond that and you entered the world of deviant, a place of “out there”, a strange anomaly among normalcy.
I’ll never forget a trip I took to Disneyland with a group of friends, many years before I had any visible tattoos. One of my friends who joined us was covered in artwork from head to toe – even his throat and hands were tattooed and everywhere we went in the park, people stopped and stared. That afternoon, I watched mothers pull their children closer to them in line, saw people shaking their head at him in disgust and even witnessed a woman tell him how horrible he was to do that to his body. It was 2003 and I was 21. I’ll never forget how that made me feel, even though my friend Chris just smiled politely at them and acted like he wasn’t phased.
It phased me, though, and I couldn’t believe people could be so rude and beyond that, hurtful and cruel. It disgusted me. I thought about that trip often and when I decided to tattoo my body in places that were much more visible, I kept that day in mind.
The most surprising thing about being heavily tattooed is how it affects my day to day. My family and I live in a very small, pretty conservative town and often there are times I just want to hide. Most of the time, I don’t feel like making small talk (oh my, you’re quite a colorful young lady), getting looks (either positive and negative) or answering questions (did that hurt? how much did that cost? can I see them all?). I just want to do my thing hassle-free – shop, hang out, etc., so I dress accordingly.
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve developed a tougher skin somewhere along the line; I think you have to when you have people making comments about your appearance or invading your personal space on the regular. It doesn’t bother me much these days, although that’s not to say my feelings don’t get hurt now and again. I can be sensitive, which probably isn’t the best personality type to have when you go against the grain, but over the years I’ve developed a light-hearted attitude towards it all and now most negative remarks slide right past me.
At the base of it, though, I’ve come to a point where I think of my tattoos as doing a favor for me. They’ve become almost a filter in a way. They keep me real and when it comes down to it, it allows me to see other people for who they are too. I will never understand how something on my body as simple as two roses over my shoulders could offend anyone to the point of needing or wanting to make a rude comment, but that’s the difference between them and me, I suppose. In my world, life is too short to involve myself with anyone who doesn’t have a loving, accepting heart and if my tattoos bother you to the point of sticking your nose up in the air at me, then I’d prefer if you just keep on walking by. As I see it, I didn’t want to know you anyway.
On the other hand though, there’s a part of me that needs to work on overcoming my own judgment of people. Because I’ve experienced some of the rudest stares and remarks, I’ve begun to expect it from all people. If I’m at the store and notice a woman staring at my arm, my first reaction is to stare right back, maybe even give her a “what?!” kind of look. I think over the years I developed a chip on my shoulder, which isn’t a good thing. I’m aware of it now, but for awhile I would forget that more often than not people are simply curious, or maybe they like what they see. In a way my preemptive attitude towards all of the un-tattooed people of the world is just as rude. I’m judging them for possibly judging me, making an assumption that may or may not even be true.
In the end, my motto of “live and let live” is in practice all of the time. Many people won’t get why I have chosen to decorate my skin with pictures, words and beautiful colors but the older I get, the less I care. That’s on them and we are all entitled to our own opinion. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t loved how I look, but there have been days where I’ve been in situations where I’ve felt beyond irritated at peoples’ reactions.
What it comes down to though is that it’s my choice to let anyone’s negativity affect me. And this can be applied to any aspect of life. You can’t please ‘em all and if it’s not one thing, it will always be another. No matter what choice you make there will always be someone out there who disapproves. You just have to focus on what makes you happy and let all of the naysayers fall to the side. I’m grateful that my tattoos have helped me learned this huge life lesson. So I just do my thing and secretly smile to myself every time someone asks me what I’ll do when I’m 80 years old. Because really, don’t they know that we’re all going to be wrinkly and old? And at least my wrinkles will be colorful.
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12.14.2011 |
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I love that this was written by a stay-at-home mom! I too am a SAHM & have a few tattoos (not as many as you). When I got my first at 20, I was a Sunday School teacher & had a parent tell their child that I was going to hell for my ink (It’s a bird with a Bible verse on my foot). I realized from that point on that I was going to be greeted by a few naysayers.
Totally agree with the sentiment of caring less and less as I get older. So what. It’s my body & I’ll have cool wrinkles. Just like you said.
Cute blog! ♥
Heck yes for cool wrinkles! And seriously, how ironic that your bible verse is supposed to send your straight to hell!
Love this. I get almost all negative comments about my tattoos, and I’ve gotten extremely defensive because of it. Though, let’s face it, I’ve got some pretty ridiculous ones and look like I’m setup about 16. (Who, by the way, thought it was a good idea to let me get tattoos at 15?!)
You and your tattoos are beautiful, Mandy!
Dear,
I have 9 tattoos over my body and are pretty big! I live in Brazil, a tropical country and is hard to hide tattoos LOL! I started when I was 18.
I still facing some “ugly” faces when I shake hands during job interview (my tattoo goes from arm to hand) and they look, want to say something but decide just to look in my eyes and I think that they are wondering : is she trustable?
And before they ask, I say: what matters is my soul and my brain, not my skin. These drawings are part of me, but you want my work, not a piece of meat to put on a shelf.
Always remenber that what is important is what you have to offer to the world and who live around. If they don´t like your tattoo delete these from your life list! Greetings and thanks for these amazing blog!
I love your positive outlook, seriously. Thank you for commenting! <3
I love this. I have a few tats as well, and i intend to get more. It is sad that people judge you from that, but i think it’s art, and when i’m old? who cares
Whatever makes you happy.
Exactly. Thank you Ashley!
I love this article! I love tattoos, but it took me until I was 28 to get my first one- a leaf on my belly/hip slightly twisting. Now at 32 I have three and had one expanded over my shoulder…. All of them have a meaning and all have the collective theme of being leaves. But all of my tattoos are covered in the winter and mostly come out in warm weather. So, someone who meets me in the winter, even someone who lives with me, might not know I’m a painted lady. Honestly, I’ve been afraid to get visible ones because of work- I’m a social worker who works
with kids and families… But, maybe I should give that another thought.
My next three tattoos will be a small leaf on my wrist, a walking leaf sprite/fairy bug, and perhaps some words such as, “in the midst of winter I found there was within me an invincible summer.”
Oh I LOVE that last quote you mentioned. One of my favorites. Thanks for reading
ahhhh! I love that quote also!
I love this! My husband has full sleeves and goes through the same things. This is perfect and so true – “They keep me real and when it comes down to it, it allows me to see other people for who they are too.”
http://nicolelagreca.blogspot.com/
Thanks Nicole! xo
I absolutely love this article – I especially agree with and relate to Danielle saying the reactions she gets to her tattoos from other people allow her to see who they really are. I find it completely ridiculous to lump all people who have tattoos together into one category, which is usually negative.
Yes! It is absolutely ridiculous. Thank you so much for commenting and reading!
Absolutely love this article. Well said Danielle!
Thank you Nena!
Thank you for this article. I only have one tattoo but it’s large and gets a lot of negative attention. I’m generally a very conservative girl, but because I’m tattooed on my sternum (a heart near my heart) I get a lot of assumptions that I’m cool with any/all random dudes looking at and commenting on my cleavage. What bothers me even more is the assumptions that other women (especially older ones) make about me based on the tattoo. It’s tough because I don’t feel like I have *enough* tattoos to be a part of the tattoo community but such a noticible tattoo clashes with everyone else’s perception of me. I got it 5 years ago and I’m still waiting to develop thick skin so that I can be as proud of my ink as I want to be.
Hey Avalon! Thanks so much for reading and replying. I totally get where you’re coming from. it’s hard- but I bet as time goes on you’ll feel better and better about letting all of that slide right by. Sending love to you girl! xo
My fiancee is studying to be an Anglican priest, and everything outside of most of his arms as a piece of art planned to go on it. I plan on getting some art done too and I know (being the daughter and granddaughter of ministers) how that will go. Even so after the wedding (tat money goes to the wedding first) we’ll happily decorate ourselves and others will stare but I’m ok with that. Thanks for the article.
Ahh I love your insight. Thank you so much for sharing, Alison!
Hee hee. And then there’s me. In the middle of hot rod culture without a single permanent inkstain on my body. I am in the vast minority at car shows. I enjoy other people’s tattoos and even know what I would get if I get one….but I haven’t figured out placement yet.
haha! I love that. I have a friend who is dating a guy covered in tattoos, most of her friends are heavily tattooed also…yet she has none. It’s funny to think that in that group she’s the “odd one out.”
Thanks for commenting!
I love this article! I was also a late bloomer in the tattoo world…23 when I got my first. I’m 26 and up to 5 now. My most recent piece-in-progress spans my back from hip to hip and is up to about my armpits. I can’t wait to go on vacation in a couple months and get stared at… It’s ok though, my boyfriend’s entire back is tattooed so he’ll get the looks with me. He’s starting his sleeves this spring and I’m debating what to put on my shoulder once my back is done.
The one thing that constantly surprises me are the semi-tattooed who judge the more fully tattooed. The girls with the “tramp stamps” who “just can’t believe you made it that big!” or the guys with the tribal bands who call another guy with a full back tattoo “gay” People of the ink unite! If we can’t all get along, how can you ever expect everyone else to accept the inked?
I’m SO glad you wrote this. I am a stay at home mom of a beautiful 2 year old girl. I’m also heavily tattooed. I feel myself being more judged now that I have a child than ever before. People will look at me as if I drop my child off at a daycare to go smoke pot and drink beer. I think it is such a shame that tattoos carry such stigma. My tattoos tell the story of my life. They’re all my secrets, visible to the world. I have everything from a black star on my hip(18, matching tattoos with my best friend) to a bluebird in a jar (my favorite song and poem rolled into one). I’m not offended when people ask what “they mean” because at least they learn to understand that tattoos are in fact meaningful. What is most upsetting is the judgement on my parenting skills I FEEL like I get. You know, those looks? I’m slowly getting used to it, even though I should have to have anything to get used to. Now when I’m with my daughter and I get stares I want to say so badly, “Yes, I’m drug free and I do not drink. Oh, and my 2 year old can count to 10, knows all of her shapes and colors, AND can sing her ABC’s. Thanks for your concern though!”
I know a mother of two who’s in a similar spot. Her and her husband are both heavily tattooed. But, they’re awesome people and have two smart and beautiful young daughters.
My tattoo covers most of my forearm. It’s an aeroplane spiraling downward with purple smoke. I love it! It seems like the only people who shake their heads at me are family. Everybody else seems to love it. I will get more, but I don’t know what I want yet.
first, i think you’re beautiful- tattoos included! anyone that has the courage to have visible tattoos- more power to them. that said, sometimes (being who i am…) it does stress me out when people just have random things here and there- no real cohesive art- just looks like a bad decision… tattoos are not something that i THINK i’d ever be comfortable enough to do, but i love to look at the art of those that are brave enough to do so! thanks for the insightful article- i enjoyed it
“Small tattoos – back tattoos, ankles, maybe even a cute saying on your wrist – all “normal” in the eyes of my peers and most older folk.”
Let me tell you, I have tattoos on both ankles & a song lyric on both of my wrists, but I still get looked at as some trashy piece of society despite my successes in previous jobs & in my university setting. Judgmental people suck.
I simply love this article. My boyfriend, who is a tattoo artist, and I talk about this almost all the time. I’m 21 and I had gotten my first tattoo in February of this year, now I have 9 and I love them more more than anything. I can completely relate because when I was younger I never thought I would get a tattoo, but my outlook has changed since then. The idea of covering your body in something that will stay on your body forever was scary at first, but now I’m just in love with it. It’s a way of expressing yourself. I love coming up with new tattoo ideas and drawing them up myself, it’s something that has changed my life forever. Getting those looks though is what I was dreading the most, those stares and comments, especially when I’m at work. However I just nod and talk to them in the most polite way and take what they have to say, and explain to them why I have chosen to cover my body in tattoos. If they’re still negative towards me about it, so be it. My parents and family were the worse though. They don’t agree with it, and I can tell that they look down on me for it. My mom says I look unattractive because of them, she’s disgusted I guess you can say. They’re slowly accepting this is who I am, and what I want, and they know that I’m going to do what I like whether they agree with it or not. It just hurt me when they said I was a disappointment even though they had no reason t be disappointed other than the fact that I have tattoos. I live on my own, I pay all my own bills, I’ve even graduated from college, (and I’m the only who has graduated from college in my family by the way),meanwhile my brother is doing nothing with his life and he’s the perfect child. It’s just so hard on me, but I’ve just learned to accept it, there’s really no other choice. I can’t be bitter about it, I know I’m a good person and that’s all that matters, even if my own family doesn’t think so. The way they talk about my boyfriend as well isn’t acceptable. They say I can do so much better, just because he’s covered in tattoos. My boyfriend is the greatest man I have ever been with, and I plan on marrying him one day, just because he has tattoos doesn’t make him or anyone else less of person who doesn’t have them. So I guess I’m just trying to say is that I completely understand, and I’m so happy that I came across this article today. It has made my day. Thank you.
I love you and your tattoos, Danielle! So far I only have a couple small ones, but have plans for many more, when I can afford it. My biggest worry is my mother. She freaked a little when she saw my wrist tattoo, so I can’t imagine what she’d say if I showed up at her bouse with a sleeve… but I know she, and anyone else who truly cares, will still love me and know I’m still myself.
i always think it’s interesting when people think that because i have tattoos they are automatically allowed to TOUCH ME. i think they see it as an invitation to stare and judge (negatively), or to strike up a conversation that somehow ends in my getting groped. i also find it interesting at my job…some people love them, some people hate them. and i think some of my coworkers prefer the winter months when i tend to show my tattoos less (circumstantial, obviously). i’ve never been ashamed of them, they are just part of who i am. and yes, i do intend to get more and more and more of them. sorry, mom. sorry, dad.
Enjoyed your article. I come from L.A. where most people who were tattooed were deviants, but now it’s part of our culture. Everyone and their GRANDMA has a tattoo. I didn’t get my first until after my 4th child, and haven’t stopped since. I admit, as a ‘mother’ I worry sometimes about what kind of parent people might think I am, but I’ll let the integrity of my children speak for itself. I love art and I love wearing it–nuff said.
Thanks for writing this article!! I have no tattoos so this was really interesting for me to see what its like for you. I love that your tattoos have become a representation and a filter for you! Keeping you surrounded with open minded loving people that’s wonderful.
Imagine being born with tattoos since the day you were born. A child isn’t strong enough to handle the naysayers as grown-up adults are. Infact the negative is usually louder than the love and support. Oh, what a world we live in…
Thank you for posting this! I’ve been in love with tattoos forever and I currently have 4, mostly hidden. I’ve debated about getting more visible tattoos and this just sealed the deal for me. I was always worried about not getting a job because of visible tattoos or some sort stupid worry but fuck it! I feel like it’s me and life is too short to worry. Thank you!
I got my first tattoo when I was 30, am 32 now and have a total of four. Only one (so far!) is completely visible but I’ve got a slew of them planned; my next one is a big arm piece and I’m stoked about it! My mom always says “well, they’re pretty designs, but can’t you just put it on a tshirt?” Yes Mom… because what I want is a tattoo design on a tshirt. Luckily she loves me anyway!
But I love that you have some meaningful tattoos and some that are just fun; that’s exactly the mix I’m going for! And I love your outlook about having wonderfully colorful wrinkles! That’s my next “line” for defense! Thank you so much for this article, I love it!
I wrote a similar piece on being a tattooed mom and someone actually commented in regard to parents who won’t want their children to socialize with mine and questioned how my daughter’s teachers would view me. Obviously, I do not want my child in a household or classroom run by someone who would judge people so harshly based on outward appearance alone.
http://www.yourtango.com/201189178/im-responsible-mom-and-wife-and-yes-i-have-tattoos
I got ripped apart for writing a similar article for Thought Catalog so I appreciate seeing this here! Thanks!
I can definitely sympathize when this post. I have a 3/4 sleeve on my left arm and get stopped almost daily by people who are either curious, or strangely offended by my tattoos. I’ve most certainly developed a chip on my shoulder as well, and I automatically assume that anyone looking at me is judging me… even though I KNOW that’s not always the case…. sometimes they just want to know the story behind them all, and I’m more than happy to share. Great article!
It seems like every second person in Melbourne (Australia) is heavily tattooed and hardly anyone could give a flip. Just wondering, how come you stayed in this small, conservative town? I’m sure it has to do with staying close to family and friends. I know that if you lived in the town I grew up in you would probably get stares too but not comments. I couldn’t wait to leave my town and move to the big smoke and away from the narrow minded goons.
I loved this. I have only 3 tattoos presently but 2 are of a big lily and rose on each wrist, respectively. I work retail and get comments on them all the time. Mostly they are positive and from usually from the older crowd (50-60 year old ladies always love them for some reason). Once and I while I will get a stare or two, but i try really hard not to let that bug me. The thing that really bothers me is when people use my tattoos as an excuse to touch me. I don’t normally mind showing them if you ask, but grabbing my arm and/or stroking the lines of the work (actually happened) makes me want to wear long sleeves all the time and that’s not the intention of getting tattoos.
I just really like your attitude and have definitely felt the way you have about the non-tattoo set.
Inspiring read.
I just got my first tattoo this year and is already planning my next ones.
This is a good post and I’m glad you thought it out. I think getting a tattoo definitely isn’t a good idea if you don’t think about the implications. My sister just inks up on a whim, which is fine for some people, but she can’t find a job anywhere that pays decently because of her tattoos (on hands). I think that’s the frustrating thing about getting something that permanent.
beautiful! makes me want to get a tattoo
I’m so glad you featured yourself on the blog…I’ve seen a lot of tatoos thru your feature and I think you have the prettiest tatoos I’ve seen! I also liked the close up picture of your face, often times I don’t notice your face as much since the eye goes directly to your tattoos. I’d also love to see some before and afters!
my tattoo is Hebrew on my wrist, i haven’t had too many negative comments, mostly because people have no idea what it is, but as an education major it’s school policy for ALL ink to be covered for observations in classrooms. i highly doubt that i will ever meet a kindergartner that can read ancient Hebrew, but… i guess it could happen…
I have 7 tattoos and plan to get quite a few more. I haven’t experienced too much negative reaction to the tattoos, but i also have my septum pierced and get negativity from that ALL of the time. its irritating. my septum is something that i can hide easily, but why should i? i’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but its just a piece of metal, what exactly is your hangup? my tattoos are somewhat easy to hide. i have a white ink ampersand on my wrist which i usually have to point out to people, a deathly hallows sign on my neck, a cupcake on the top of my foot, the stars from the harry potter books and a heart on either inside heel, a kanji symbol on my back, and a sparrow on my left shoulder. i started getting tattoos when i was 16 yrs old and i find that what most people conceive as a person with tattoos is not what my personality is at all. i like pretty things and i think it is a beautiful way to express yourself. i’m currently getting my associate of arts in teaching (elementary level) and i’m concerned what people will say, mostly co workers and parents. am i going to be judged as a bad teacher simply because my skin is colorful? i wanted to permanently have my love for music, literature, and the thing that shaped my childhood, not to mention my family, my self, and my friends. that is what my tattoos mean to me. does representing these things in a way that i see fit and like make me a bad person? those are the kind of fears that society has made me feel because of sucky judgmental people.
this is such a great article by the way!
You have verbalized everything I’ve felt about being heavily tattooed and female. Thank you! I posted a link to my mother’s facebook so she can see this…
thank you for sharing this! i have been considering getting at least a tattoo for a while now. and i think yours are beautiful! and i love that you and your sister have one together. i tell my sister that we should do something like that, all the time
I love your thought when you say at least my wrinkles will be colorful! I too get that comment and now I will have a witty yet “polite” response. Awesome post!
Thank you for sharing this. I have two tattoos, just smalls ones on my shoulder and wrist. It bothers me when people think they have the right to grab my wrist or rub their fingers against my shoulder. because I have them visible isn’t the same as an invitation to touch me. I also get a lot of comments about why I would get them, it’s scripture and hebrew, the question usually is can’t you just remember it? To me it’s a daily reminder of what I strive for in life, it’s something that I find beautiful. I already have my next four tattoos planned, and I really want to expand my shoulder tattoo. The problem is that I plan to work at a conservative christian camp for the last time this summer, and large tattoos aren’t really allowed. it’s disappointing :/
Your tats are GORGEOUS! So superficially, the great thing is you’ve got beautiful artwork, youth & pop culture to enjoy. In many sports of phx, it’s almost as if tattoo-less peeps are against the grain. When people bring up the age thing I can’t believe it…with all the 18-year-olds rushing to get their sleeves, by the time we’re old, people won’t ‘wonder’ anymore. Numerous elderly of our generation will have gauged ears and ink. The norm. Individuality cred will have to come from within: because perhaps we’ll become so unimpressed & think we’ve seen it all by that point. We’ll have to enjoy each other, as painted or not, hopefully with age & wisdom – it will be irrelevant.
Op! (“spots” of phx)…
I have my lip pierced, my tongue pierced, my ears stretched and I have 4 tattoos. Most people who know me would say I am the least intimidating person they have ever met, I’m not even physically big, and I’m always smiling, but I still have had problems with people judging me because of my body modifications. I have been walking down the street and had people do that paranoid thing where they cross to the other side (because a girl who’s 5’6 and 125 pounds is so going to beat you up). I worked in a bar and had men (and women as well a few times) say that I was “such a pretty girl, why would you do that to” myself. But, I also get lots of people who want to ask me about my tattoos, and i find these people are generally innocently intrigued by my tattoos and really just curious. Generally I find that the things people say about my tattoos are becoming increasingly more curious, interested, or complementary rather than harsh or mean. I think that people are beginning to look at tattoos in a much more positive way. I remember even as a child seeing a person who was heavily tattooed was rare, and tattoos were mostly quite frowned upon, especially for professionals. That’ s now all changing however, as many businesses that would not have previously allowed visibly tattooed employees to work for them are relaxing their rules (although not all of them, I recently had a job interview with a very narrow minded company, but we wont discuss that). My mom, who owns her own business as a Human Resources Consultant even has employees with multiple tattoos working for her, and this is in a professional office. Almost everyone I know is tattooed, although not necessarily heavily, and this is a huge change from 15 or 20 years ago. Though I have definitely learned to live with the assumptions that, less open minded, people draw about me from my tattoos, the negative feedback I get about them is becoming less and less, and that’s just since I got my first tattoo 4 years ago. Things are changing and quickly, so much so that my mother, who is 60, is even considering getting a tattoo. Now that’s what I call progress. It still hurts when I’m judged for my tattoos, but I prefer not to associate with anyone who is narrow minded enough to judge me solely on my appearance. Why should i care what they think, they don’t really know me anyway.
I’m 51 years of age, got my first tattoo in 1980 and I’m now heavily covered and working on more. My attitude is also “live and let live” and it does work. I don’t really notice when people stare (hubby does, he thinks it’s a riot!) and if they comment I have a long list of standard replies.
“What are you going to do when you’re 80?” Well, first off I hope to be alive and in my right mind, then secondly if I need a walker I want it to have pipes and flames. I’ll be the most popular chick in the nursing home
Keep up the good attitude, Danielle, you’re perfect!
Great article Danielle!
I really know what you mean about the “filter” that tattoos provide. As I see it, my tattoos are a commitment to counter-culture – in all its forms. I know that those who can’t handle an opinion, way of life or body that is different than their own are not the kind of people I want to invite into my world, like you said.
Also I think people too often dismiss the body – especially the female body – as something that serves only specific purposes (to seduce, to perform, to be medically treated…). They don’t see that the body can be a site of resistance, artistic expression or even empowerment. After all, our body WILL inevitably change in ways we could never foresee; our skin, hair, muscles, it’s all temporary. I see tattooing as a form of claiming and connecting to one’s body and living in the moment. We might as well have fun with it while we have it!
I believe that a lot of tattoo judgement comes from some seriously misplaced projection people have of themselves. I think that whenever we attempt something that shows exactly how confident & comfortable be are in our ourselves it’s very easy for people to get upset, not know why they’re upset and just react in judgement- even though a lot of it comes from how under-confident they see themselves. Having short hair, tattoos, doing roller derby, not smoking, telling people you don’t like to gossip, wearing a pink dress on your wedding day, being different- these are all things that seem to easily threaten others who aren’t introspective enough to ask themselves why decorations on your body would offend them. I really like this article- I sent it to my Dad who still has an issue with my body art- he calls me the illustrated woman (not meant to be a compliment) – my Mom on the other hand now tells me how thrills she is that I’ve embraced me, while my parents were so bad at cultivating my individuality when I was young. She’s also incredibly open to herself about why she reacts to things, though. Thank you for this article- I agree whole-heartedly. xxo
the gradients on both of your tattoos in the picture are amazing…kudos to the artists for their skill
I love this so much! I am not covered in tattoos, YET anyway, but the majority of my back is done and I have a phrase in French across my chest. This is enough to warrant dirty looks and/or annoying questions. So in a sense I can relate. You are incredibly cute, tattoos and all!
Interesting. I have no tattoos, but I have a brand of my husband’s initials on my thigh. I am a grandmother who nobody would imagine would have such a thing. I am fascinated by tattoos, so when I see them I stop and look, having already had the conversation in my head where I say “you wouldn’t have it if you didn’t want someone to look at it, would you?” So if you see a conservative looking grandmother staring at your tattoo at Wal-Mart, try assuming she is into S & M and jealous of your art.
Amazing article!! Thanks for writing this!! I am also a tattoed stay at home mom! I loved reading the comments from other tattoed females! It needed to be written. I hated how in the media that Kat Von D was spoken negatively about not because her boyfriend was a jerk but she was heavily tattoed…. As if that just implied she was of low morals… Many comments were made about her based on her tattoo’s.. I found that offensive because tattoos does not equal skank….. While no tattoos means sweet and innocent.
I’m not for or against tattoos, but I sort of feel like having visible tattoos really isn’t that big of a deal anymore. It’s the end of 2011. I almost feel like it’s more common for someone 21-35 right now to have a tattoo, than not to. This article was not enlightening.
Brittney, I can definitely see what you’re saying, but small conservative towns are a completely different ballpark. I live in a similar town, and my mom has a total of seven tattoos, 4 of which are on each shoulder and on each side of her chest. Bible belt-ers like to judge my mom for tattoos that are special to her (well, at least two of them: one is me and my sister as angels and another is a butterfly made out of a J [for her boyfriend's name] and an L and S in the halves of the wing for my sister and I, respectively) and have a special place to her. My mom has definitely had to adopt a similar attitude. The trend may be growing, but I feel that (in some areas) the people are not. I think that’s more of what Danielle was going for.
~Linda
perfect, perfect post danielle. i love this.
I find that people are more “grabby” with me. Like, they’ll totally grab me by my arm to get a closer look at my tattoos. I wouldn’t go up to someone and just grab them to get a closer look on something on their body….I waited until I was 21, also, before I got my first tattoo, I’m almost 35 and I’m still getting them, even though the first little wrinkles are starting to appear…this is me. I am colorful.
I couldn’t possibly agree more!! When I got my first tattoo @ 18 (a large tribal piece that goes across the top of my back, between my shoulder blades) I was so proud & wore anything that would show it off. And this after my father would tell me if I ever got ink he would cut it out of my skin my whole childhood. I got those same looks & what was worse was the comments from my family “why would you do that?” and so on … I was 18 and stubborn and didnt really care. I have since added more, not as many as you have but that is my goal :0) and over the years they comment less … my Dad actually found something meaningful enough in his life to get a tattoo too … and I kindly reminded him of his childhood threat to me … his response “that was before he understood” …. thank you for the article, very inspiring!!
I think I get it more from my family than strangers.
I had my grandfather tell me he wished he could cover up my half sleeve with white paint, on my wedding day! I just smiled and told him that it wouldn’t match my dress.
I loved this article! I have three tattoos right now, many more planned. All of my current tattoos are covered in the winter (hip,ankle, and back) yet in the summer they are very visible. My back tattoo is an eye and I get a lot of hurtful comments on it. Sometimes its hard to not scream at people “its my body, leave me alone!” Thank you for writing this and showing people its not always easy for us inked girls and boys, but we love our art just the same.
When I look at at tattoo on someone I’m admiring art, just as I would if it were hanging on a wall. I’ve been wanting a tattoo for years and I can tell you the only reason why I haven’t is not because I’m afraid of how I’ll be looked at or how I’ll feel when I’m 80, but that I’m a complete commitment-phobe (hence the complete lack of commitment in all aspects of my life). When I look at your lovely tattoos, I’m secretly jealous that someone can be so comfortable in their own skin and commit to what is beautiful and important to them.
Rock on, girl! I love tattoos even though I don’t have any (yet). Like you, I over think it. But it’s your body and no one can tell you what is and is not beautiful. And in the end, beauty is not about the exterior, is it?
Awesome article, I loved it! I too (as many here) have a few tattoos (4) and plan to get more
I really appreciate that you took the time to write about this, it makes me feel a lot better about my desire to continue adding on pieces; I sometimes second guess myself because of people’s reactions and opinions. For some reason, and since I was about 15, I wanted to get tattooed but didn’t (had some really good reasons), but thats changing now… and yes, wrinkles covered with beautiful art pieces will look a lot better than just plain old boring ones