On Being a Mom and Having Tattoos
by Danielle Hampton
If you would have shown my 15-year-old self a photo of me now, I wouldn’t have believed that the girl pictured could really be me. It would have been hard to even imagine; I grew up in an open-minded yet somewhat conservative family and knew hardly anyone with a tattoo. Outside of the one biker friend of my Dad’s who had a rose tattooed on his skull, it was all foreign to me and admittedly, a little scary, too. In high school, I dated a few boys who had artwork on their bodies – one with his last name across his back and another with some sort of tribal etching on his bicep. But that was it. I don’t actually even remember ever seeing a heavily tattooed person in my life before I was 18 or 19. On our senior trip to Mexico the summer after graduating high school, I recall getting truly upset at two of my girl friends for going off and getting tattoos in a random shop on a back street in Puerto Vallarta. Not only was I mad that they could have contracted some sort of disease from the unsanitary conditions but I was appalled that they would do “that” to their bodies.
Well. Since then, I’ve done a lot of “that” to my body and now, at 29, I am what some would call heavily tattooed.
I’ve written about this topic in my own blog before and likened being heavily tattooed to wearing a dress that you just can’t take off. You went to the store, loved the dress, bought the dress and guess what? You will wear that dress for the rest of your life. Others will stop and comment on your dress – maybe they love it, maybe they hate it. But because it’s colorful, different from the norm and so out there, they feel that they have the right to discuss it with you, maybe show you their own and sometimes even touch yours. And you still can’t take it off. Ever. And that’s what it’s like to be heavily tattooed. It’s a part of you wherever you go, a conversation piece and what many people see before they really see you.
And now that I’m a Mom, I’ve gotten so many more questions from my friends, family and even complete strangers about my tattoos. What will you do if Henry wants to get one at a young age? Do other Moms judge you? What happens if your son is embarrassed of them?
It’s funny because these are all things I’ve thought about myself. My husband and I have laughed about the fact that Henry will either think we’re super cool or super lame. And that’s okay. I couldn’t imagine having a Mom that had her arms, chest, legs, etc. tattooed but this is all Henry will know. And because he’s surrounded by our tattooed friends and family most of the time, seeing beautiful colors and pictures on peoples’ skin is completely normal and probably more commonplace to him than seeing skin without it.
And because of this, I do wonder how it will affect our son. I hope if my tattoos do affect him at all, they teach him to be accepting of different kinds of people and to never base his opinion on someone’s looks alone. I wish more kids had that lesson growing up – we’d have a lot less adults who are quick to judge solely based on appearance and stereotypes.
Before I was a Mom, I was a high school English teacher in our small, conservative town. Every day I’d cover up my tattoos with work appropriate clothing and most of my colleagues never knew I had them unless they saw me outside of school. I taught there for almost six years and surprisingly, there were some people I never had the chance to see beyond our classroom walls. Then just the other day I actually ended up running into a group of them while out to eat with my family. Some of the women were shocked when my husband, son and I walked up; I was wearing a strapless dress and my chest piece and sleeve were completely visible. Many of them were in disbelief – “You always seemed so sweet! I never would have guessed you had so many tattoos!” and “I had you pegged all wrong- this is truly a surprise! You always seemed like such a sweet girl.” Because I had always seemed so nice (‘sweet’ seemed to be the adjective of choice), it seemed preposterous to them that underneath my pencil skirts, blouses and cardigans lie this seemingly wild and crazy heathen who must be intent on covering every inch of her skin with ink.
I’m used to people giving me weird looks – sometimes they’re just curious but sometimes I get some pretty awful glares – and it was very interesting to me to see how these women reacted. They had already known me for years. They knew that I was a hard worker, friendly and a great teacher. They had based their opinion off what they saw everyday but I was suddenly tossing a wrench into their wheel of impressions. I was throwing them off.
We talked a bit more and as I walked away, I realized that I had done something pretty neat back there at that table. I had broken a stereotype and hopefully taught these women that whatever crazy idea they had in their heads of what a tattooed person is supposed to be like was wrong. Hopefully. To be honest, I’m sure when I left the table most of them didn’t give it a second thought but I’d like to think that maybe just one of them questioned why they had been so shocked in the first place and realized I was still the same person they’d always known, even though I may be a little bit out of the box they had originally placed me in.
And that’s what I hope for my son. I hope he grows up and sees that not everyone can fit into a neat box. That diversity, uniqueness and thinking outside of the norm are all good things. I want to teach him acceptance and tolerance. Compassion and kindness. As time goes by, tattoos will become more common but I know that in the world we live in, there will always be someone quick to judge or make an assumption based on appearance. And that’s okay. So when people ask me what it’s like to be a heavily tattooed Mom or how I think my tattoos will affect my son when he’s older, I still can’t say I know. All I can do is teach him to have an open mind and kind heart and hope he doesn’t think I’m too lame once he’s all grown up.
With all of that said, I’m so curious to hear from you – are you a Mom with tattoos? Or are you someone with tattoos who plans on having kids one day? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
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09.07.2011 |
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I have a tattoo across my back and I plan on getting more, and I plan on having kids! I don’t think it will be a problem because so many people my age (I’m 22) are heavily tattooed out future kids will see a tattooed parent as normal.
our future kids* sorry!
I totally agree! I definitely think it will be more normal as time goes on!
I have tattoos, most of them on my arms, and it can be quite a pain in the butt sometimes! I wouldn’t trade them for the world and I definitely wouldn’t be me without them, but I’m so tired of the looks and questions. It’s like no stranger can think of anything else to converse with me about. Some day I would like to be a mom and I would hope to raise my kids to be accepting and not quick to judge others. I want to break the mold of ‘tattoos are bad’. I often am judged too quickly and I’d like the next generation to sort of break that stereotype. Thanks for the article!
I am so with you on getting tired of it always being the topic of convo- I also wouldn’t trade them for the world but it totally gets old! Hopefully as time goes by it won’t be as shocking, although I feel like in my small town it always will be! xoxo
I only have one tattoo, for now. It’s a red hibiscus on my back, I think it’s pretty awesome! I got tattoed when I turned 18, so it was this year -May, actually. I’m planning on getting more tattoos, not all over my body but I do want some more pretty drawings covering my body. I’m an artist myself and love painting and I’m pretty sure that my skin is the best canvas ever!!
And yay! of course I want to have kids in a future!! I’ll be a tattoed mom, and I hope that my child will like them
-Don’t forget to be happy!
Your red hibiscus sounds beautiful! Yay for future tattooed mamas!
I am a mom with lots of tattoos and I also am a Special Ed teacher. I hide my tattoos everyday and while it is a pain, I love my tattoos and I love my job and I will do what’s necessary to have both. I hope someday tattoos won’t be such an issue that I won’t have to hide them at times, but it’s also not going to stop me from getting more. My tattoos are my story. I am sometimes judged, sometimes admired for them, but they are part of who I am. I hope my kids understand that and don’t judge others for their looks or abilities and know that it’s okay to have tattoos or not have tattoos.
Exactly! You know what is kind of crazy/interesting? My school told me I COULD show them…but I just didn’t want to deal with it so I covered them for the most part. It was just easier when dealing with such distractable teenagers.
Not a mom, but I plan on being one…someday. Not anytime soon. I have two tattoos (one on my wrist, one on my spine–both text) and my parents hate them. There have been a lot of “But what will you do when you’re 90?,” conversations and I feel: 1) It’s a little presumptuous to think I’m going to be alive that long and 2) If I do make it to 90, there will be a whole generation of 90 year olds with tattoos. Tattoos are art. Tattoos are a cultural thing. They’re beautiful and meaningful, and that’s what a lot of people don’t seem to understand. It took me a very long time to decide to make the commitment and I don’t regret it at all. The words on my skin might not always mean the same thing to me that they do now, but they will remind me of a specific time in my life.
I’ll admit that if I ever have a child and he or she comes to me and says they want to get a tattoo, my gut reaction will probably be to say no. And then I’ll come to my senses and have an in depth discussion about design and meaning. For me, that’s always been the key. I don’t understand why people would just walk into a shop and point out some random image in a book to get tattooed on their skin. I think it should be more personal than that. I spent about a year thinking about my first one and maybe six months thinking about my second. If anyone ever asks about them, I have a story to go along with them.
I’m a teacher as well and I did worry about having to cover them up for work, but so far they haven’t been a problem. I’m currently working as a preschool teacher in NYC and a lot of my coworkers have tattoos. Maybe if I go back to teaching middle/high school, it would be an issue, but I think people are more open about body art, which is a great thing. My students are always curious about my skin. “Why is it like that? It never comes off?,” but they’ve learned that this is my body and that yes, it’s a little different than theirs, and that’s okay.
ahh thanks for such a thoughtful comment! I loved reading it, and agree with you in all of it. I think when and if Henry asked me to get a tattoo I’d feel the same way- and I’d definitely want to have a super long talk about why and what. It’s crazy to think about, but I’m sure it will come up.
And that’s so awesome that you can show them at the preschool- I bet you are doing a lot of good for those kiddos!
It’s funny to read this post today because just a few days ago I wrote a status update about how two separate old ladies had given my tattoos the stink eye and asked me if I was going to regret them later (this was while at work). I always handle those kinds of comments the same way, which is by smiling sweetly and telling them that I’d never regret them because they all mean something special to me.
Anyway, yes, I am a mother of a 2 year old boy and while It definitely crossed my mind here and there, “oh hey, my son is going to have a mama with lots of tattoos!” I never really considered it any kind of detriment or worried about him feeling embarrassed. I guess because I have always had lots of friends with tattoos and surround myself with like minded individuals as much as possible.
That is not to say it will never happen. Perhaps my son will rebel against my open minded ways and become a conservative Alex P. Keaton type (Goddess forbid). Maybe there will be a moment when he comes to me and says “hey, all your tattoos embarrass me!”. I hope that day never comes and I also feel in my gut that it never will but who can really say for sure?
After I complained about my incident with the two old ladies, I started thinking about all the wonderful comments and questions I get about my tattoos. I mean, most days I wish they weren’t a topic of conversation at all but once you get heavily tattooed you have to deal with the fact people are going to be curious about them forever! As an introvert that isn’t always feeling the most social, that has been hard to deal with. But all in all, people are mostly just interested in them and not necessarily judgemental. I have lived in extremely open minded places and smaller, slightly more conservative places (like now) and I am used to dealing with both.
I guess ultimately, what I am trying to say is that my son will find his own way of dealing with “beingbthe boy with the tattooed mama.” Maybe he’ll make friends with kids of other tattooed parents, maybe he’ll want to get them himself as he grows older, or maybe he will simply dismiss them all together! I am prepared for whatever is thrown my way.
“That is not to say it will never happen. Perhaps my son will rebel against my open minded ways and become a conservative Alex P. Keaton type (Goddess forbid).”
Okay I love you. Let’s be bff please. I adored everything you wrote up there and I am so on the same page as you. Thank you, thank you for sharing this.
as a semi-heavily tattooed father of two little girls (5 and 2), i don’t really think about it too much. we live in a conservative town, and have our whole lives, so i have gotten the looks and friendly/unfriendly comments about all sorts of stuff growing up (long, multi-colored hair, piercings, plaid pants, whatever), so i have become immune to it in a sense. i don’t even notice if people are looking strangely at me anymore, and i don’t really care. my wife and i will always teach our children to be accepting of all people, and just to be good people in general. that’s all you can ask really. kids will grow up and make their own choices, and i fully support that. as for whether my kids will think i’m a cool dad or a dork, most definitely the latter, and i totally agree with them.
Hell yes for dorky parents!
Small town living can be difficult but I’m glad to know I’m not alone! Thank you for this comment.
I’m not even close to being a mom, but this article was amazing! I have 6 tattoos, varrying sizes, words, pictures, and thoughts. All are so important to me. I am judged by quit a bit (I’m a Catholic) at church (mostly negative) gas stations, airports, but I don’t act like a mean person, I smile and talk with people. I use my tattoos not only as a way to commemorate: those I’ve lost, my faith, my family, fun times, and hard time. I use them as a buffer. People who can’t see past my beautiful (if not just a tiny bit expensive), artwork….well they aren’t worth my time. I smile and move on to the next. Thanks again for writting this, it is truly beautiful.
I love your outlook- those people definitely don’t matter and I like to think of tattoos as a buffer between those mean judgmental people and myself.
a buffer for sure! my mom told me one day that guys, even heavily tattooed ones, don’t really like girls that have a lot of tattoos. I told her that if my tattoos were an issue to a guy then he wasn’t the one for me anyway. My future partner doesn’t have to LIKE all of them but they all have meaning to me and if he likes me (which he’ll have to in order to be my partner) he’ll probably like them a lot.
I love this post.
and this post loves YOU!
I have a partial sleeve and my whole back done and I’m the mother of 3. I’ve never gotten anything but compliments. My kids are infatuated with them. I have to tell them that the tattoos aren’t that cool and that they should wait a VERY long time before getting them. I’d be horrified if they ever came home with a tweety bird on their leg!
a Tweety Bird?! Ahhh! That would make me cry. haha.
I’m a tattooed mom, AND a high school English teacher!
My daughter is still too young to really know what they are (she’s two), but my students seem to love them. I like to think that I’m breaking stereotypes too.
We’re fated to be friends! I love fellow English teachers!
I just turned thirty and have an insane desire to get tattooed. Awesome post.
Just do it Macy! And thank you
I am tattooed (and pierced) mommy of two! I make most of my clothes and it’s a rarity to see me without a big, ridiculous bow on my head or some clompy stompy boots on my feet. Sure, I am not be the essence of fashion or coolness, but I like me, and I want to teach my children to be who they are, love who they are and accept everyone else. I might be tattooed and “weird,” but I am also the treasure for the PTA at my daughters school, and I teach Sunday School at our church. I relish breaking through stereotypes.
Gosh I so agree- nothing is better than killing stereotypes like that. You go girl!
Yay for Mom’s with Tattoos! I have one and my husband has a couple. Our 2 year old son thinks they’re awesome and likes to say “tattoo” and point them out. I’m also described as “a sweet girl” a lot so I know exactly the surprise you are talking about when people in my office see my tattoo peek out from under my sleeve! “Wow, when’d you get that, when you were in college?” Nope, actually when I was 26 and finally knew exactly what I wanted tattooed on me! .
haha! Right?! Like the tattoos make us any less sweet. Silly people. And yay for tattooed mamas indeed! <3
I have tattoos and I definitely plan on having kids someday (just not anytime soon…) but my mom who is 49 just got a chest piece done last year. She gets so many compliments on it and I am so proud of her for getting it done. I was talking with friends once about how my mother and I have two matching tattoos and then it hit me- she has seven and I only have four! I need to up my tattoo game! We are both taking about getting floral sleeves or something like that done, especially since mine are all black ink and I want some color. I guess what I am trying to say is rock on with your bad self, and seriously, people who are closeminded can just stay that way. They are probably too chickenshit to get tattooed. I am in higher ed, finishing my masters and teaching right now, and this article just makes me want to go get more ink. Thanks!
Your Mom sounds amazing and I LOVE that you two are able to get matching tattoos! So, so rad. And thanks for the kind word- you’re the sweetest! xo!
This is an interesting post because I often find myself torn on the topic of tattoos. I grew up in a family that had no tattoos and were pretty judgmental of anybody who did. My father has this rule that “As long as you’re in my house, and living off my pay check, you will have no tattoos!” I was never really into tattoos myself so that rule never applied to me even though I sort of wish I had the motivation to break it (I’m 23, unemployed, and living with my parents) What I’m trying to get at though is when I left home for college, I had a very close-minded and judgmental opinion on tattoos. My freshman year of school, I lived with a girl who could be considered “heavily tattooed” and honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a bigger sweetheart to share my living space with. Now that I’m out of school, a lot of my friends from high school have got many tattoos and they are still the same cool person I knew back then.
Personally, I don’t like tattoos. They’re just not for me. But what I had to do is reshape my thinking from “Ugh, why would that person do that?” to “Eh, whatever works for them.” Tattoos don’t make people a bad person and we have no right to even connect the two to make a snap judgment. Thanks for your post. I really enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for sharing your insight. I think it fascinating to hear your point of view, and I appreciate you taking the time to get it out there. I was kind of in the same place as you and over the years I kind of just decided to go for it. When my Dad first saw my back tattoo he said that I wasn’t pretty anymore! Ah! Horrible, huh? Later he apologized profusely but it had always been the same thing- “live under my roof, no tattoos!”
Thanks again Jenna!
This was an excellent read. When I got my first tattoo 2 years ago my father almost had a coronary, and my mother began a “selective-sight” thing which seems to working really well for her… Both of them came up with all the arguments I think every tattooed person has been bombarded with; will you regret it? How will it age? What will it look like when you are playing with your grandkids? (And the one I always cringe at: so what does it mean???)
First of all, I am lightyears away from having kids, let alone grandies… But I do work as a nanny. The parents all know it’s there, the kids have all seen it (for the sake of context, it’s an antique hot air ballon on my calf) and know what it is. And when the 7 year old suddenly asserts that she is getting tattoos too when she is older? Tell her exactly how tattoos are made, it’s a needle stabbing you over and over (graphic detail is key!). It’s something you decide to do when you are old enough, and you feel it’s important to do.
The rest? Well, I fail to see how me potentially looking a bit silly when I’m 65+ is any of their concern. If it smudges and looks as though I lost a fight with some food-dye, then c’est la vie. I’ll let my imaginary future kids/grandkids get out the markers and play connect-the-dots. Because in all honesty, it’s seriously important not to take yourself too seriously
Emily! Such an amazing comment and I loved reading it. Your positive attitude is SO inspiring. I love what you said about letting your grandkids play connect the dots. ha. But really, it’s all so true. Love it.
I’ve been reading Sometimes Sweet pretty “religiously” for over a year now, and it seems like after every entry and every article here, Danielle becomes more and more of an inspiration. I’m pretty decently modified {piercings, tattoos, & scarification}, and I plan on getting pretty extensive work done; I also plan on being a loving, kind, and giving mother to my future children. I’m nowhere near being a mom, but from the bottom of my heart I know that it’s something I can’t {but can} wait to be.
On her personal blog, Danielle approaches life, motherhood, and being a wife with honesty and well placed words of wisdom. I know this and it are only fractions of who she actually is as a person, but I have to tell ya she seems like a very genuine person.
I haven’t experienced much negativity from my modifications, but I do think about from time to time what it will be like being a heavily modified mama {with probably a very heavily modified papa}. I’m not terribly concerned that my kids will be put off or embarrassed by us because of our appearance, my thoughts on that matter pretty much mirror what Danielle wrote above. However I am concerned with how he/she will be affected by our appearance in relation to other parents and kids. Hopefully we will be raising them in a more socially liberal locale where tattoos and the like are accepted, hey maybe even somewhat of a “norm”!
Regardless, bottom line is that all I truly will care about is the overall health, happiness, & well being of my kids and little family.
Thank you Danielle for being such an inspiration!
{whew, ok, I’m done with my gushing admiration! haha}
Kaddie, you totally made my whole day. Thanks for all of your kind words. I really appreciate you reading both my blog and these articles over here! It’s also amazing to read your thoughts about being a mama one day – I wish there were more awesome, non-judgmental people out there like you!
I am always more shocked when people give the whole “I thought you were a whole different person” speech when they find out I have tattoos. Why is it not “I always loved you and respected you and now maybe I shouldn’t judge others because they have body art”. I am the same person I have always been. I am 46 and have had some of my tattoos for over 20 years. I will never understand peoples need to judge others based on how they look.
Hi Patty!
I feel the same – I still feel totally surprised and shocked when that happens! It’s always surprising to me to see how close-minded people really are.
But on a positive note – keep on keepin’ on girlfriend! I love that you’ve been tattooed for 20yrs +.
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i think it’s awesome when people can be themselves in any way they please. i will never judge anyone because of the way they look but I know SO many people who would. i’m glad we are living in a society that is not as judgemental as it once was, I think over time things will get easier and people will become more tolerant of each other and each other’s choices! i personally think it’s awesome!
I loved this post!… I hope this doesn’t come off as creepy but, I follow you on flickr… I think I saw you on the list of suggested people, and I marked you as a contact ‘cus I loved the photos of your tattoos! This was like 2-3 years ago… haha and Today I go on HelloGiggles and I thought I saw you on the photo… and I was like… Wait a second! That’s the girl with the awesome tattoos on flickr! haha. Anyways, just from the photos you post on there I can sense what an amazing woman, mother and wife you are. Honestly, I have even told my friends, “You have to check this girl out, she’s awesome”.
I have my thighs and legs heavily tattooed and I am a paralegal at a law firm and when I run into people from my work, they totally freak out too and say “OMG You have tattoos? Why?” (I live in a more conservative town). It makes me laugh, cus I am like, yea I have tattoos?? Anyhow, keep doing what you do, you honestly are an inspiration to me
I can totally relate to this post! Actually, my husband is a tattoo artist and we both have a lot of tattoos. We not only get the dirty looks and the unfair assumptions, but people always look at my husbands profession as a joke. I love proving people wrong though! We are already teaching our 2 year old to have good manners, because I am sure that once she is school age, people will judge the way that she acts and our parenting. She loves our art, and I am sure that one day she will want a tattoo as well. We have very strict rules on tattoos and piercings actually! No tattoos till 18, and no piercings till mature enough to handle it (maybe around 15). We won’t even let my daughter get her ears pierced yet! My family was shocked by that! All in all though, we just try to do the best we can raising our daughter just like any other parent. I know in my heart the type of people we are, and I choose to ignore those who can’t be happy in life with me!
I don’t have tattoos. I’ve been through enough things in my 42 years, though, to know that if my circumstances had been different (more money, someone I love very much who doesn’t abhor tattoos), I would have commemorated some of those events with a tattoo. Overall, though, I’m ambivalent on the subject; it’s not my body, so … But here’s another side of this coin: My 21 year old daughter has two tattoos (that I know of …). One of them I actually helped her design, and it’s very pretty (a butterfly with ivy vines). It’s her body, her choice, her life, etc. I raised her by myself for a number of years. She and I are often mistaken for sisters. We share an unexplainable bond we both agree transcends scientific understanding. And I think she is the most gorgeous creature that’s walked the face of the planet. To think that something so beautiful, inside and out, I had a hand in creating? It blows me away. So to me her having tattoos are like a work of art such as the Mona Lisa that someone’s taken a Sharpie to just to try to make it look a touch better or different or augment in some way. It was perfect as it was created. Don’t mess with perfection. I think that’s why most parents aren’t fond of them.
I find the reactions of your former co-workers interesting. How many of us are really our true selves in our work environment, anyway? Our work selves are just one facet of our personalities. People shouldn’t be surprised to not really know their co-workers as well as they think they do!
I am not heavily tattooed, yet, but most of what I do have is very visible, then you add into the equation that I also have piercings and gauged ears. My kids are now 10 and 12 so they are old enough to offer opinions, but ass of yet both say they are completely comfortable with who I am. I do not have many friends and tend to just spend time with family, so I am the only person they know that is tattooed. I know it affects my kids and my biggest fear is that I will embarrass them. I have tried to always teach them that every person no matter how different they seem deserves to be treated right. I also teach them that in their life they have the chance to be whoever they want to and no one has the ability to take that away from them.
I have been judged many times on my tattoos. I hate that people feel that makes me any less deserving of kindness. A woman once asked my husband how he could like a girl with tattoos, and if he would ever ask me to have them removed. At the time I was shocked because I have always stayed to myself so much and didn’t really have to hear the negative comments. I would never think to dislike someone with out getting to know them first, simply because I think everyone deserves a chance and no one should be judged.
I love this post! I am somewhat tattooed, full sleeve and many, many other tattoos scattered across my body. I work in a very large lawfirm in Chicago, and choose to keep them covered. When I run into co-workers outside of work, they are truely shocked. I hope in the end that people’s perception of me hasn’t changed just because I have artwork displayed on my body. I’m not eating babies for dinner or anything.
My kids friends think I’m pretty cool, they’re fascinated with them, and love hearing the stories of my tattoo sessions. My kids themselves don’t care too much for them. They hate the attention that it brings (something that I myself have to learn to get used to). In the end, they’re a part of who I am and what makes me, me.
I love that you continue to tell your story and hopefully open the eyes of others who aren’t so understanding of this form of art.
I was browsing FB and saw this link! Loved it!! I think it’s wonderful that you have so many tattoos and are also a beautiful, successful woman and mom! It throws people for a loop and makes them take a look at their own misplaced judgements. I get that a lot as well with being a nurse. The ” I didn’t peg you as that type.”or “I can’t believe you would get those with your job.”As though having a tattoo is going to change how well I do in my career???
I don’t have babies yet, but do get asked the question, ” What about when you get married, ” or “what will your children think?” I think to myself, I HOPE people notice and ask me about these tattoos! I think each one has a different story and I love that I can wear my life on my sleeve, literally! They are memories engraved in ink and I love every last one of them. I hope that when I do get lucky enough to have a child, they will be open-minded and love without bias. I hope they find their own unique way of expressing themselves, whether that be with tattoos or not. Thanks for writing this! I really enjoyed it. You have such a beautiful family
I am the daughter of a tattooed mom!! And although my mom didn’t get her first tattoo until I was maybe 8 or 9 and a little more grown up, it has never been strange to me. If anything, it’s made me see her as way cooler than other stuffy, mom jeans-wearing, mini van- driving moms that all my friends have. I love her unconditionally!!
I have three tattoos. I am proud of every one. I am also a mother of three children. One a step son with another kid on the way. So soon to be four. I have found that as my children get older their friends are more vocal about my tattoos. “my mom hates tattoos” ” My mom says tattoos are bad” there is still this closed minded world. I just hope my children realize how proud I am of my tattoos, that they are a representation of me. With that, I hope they take that and apply it to there lives. Be true to themselves. Be proud of who they are.
I don’t have tattoo’s, but I am not against them. I think they are beautiful and a way to express your feelings, thoughts and opinions. I think Henry is lucky to have a mom so open to everything.
Danielle! I had a very similar experience when I was working in an office setting. I have tattoos on my left shoulder and halfway down my arm and they were always covered up at work. However, we wore t-shirts for a work outing and there were some coworkers completely surprised by my tattoos! They said they didn’t think I was the kind of girl to have tattoos. I’ve heard that a lot over the years, that people see me as so sweet and innocent. And that’s one thing I’ve loved most about having tattoos is breaking the stereotypes people have of those with tattoos. Even my own dad had some very negative things to say when I first started getting them. Great post and I think a lot of us with visible (and many) tattoos can relate on some level.
I have no tatoos and never plan on getting any, ever. (I dislike pain and I love to change my “dress” often! LOL) I love your article and agree that too many judge by looks and stereotypes. I hope that your article will encourage others to “look” past their own judgments and really “See” the person beneath! HUGS!!!!
this was really refreshing to read and i’m so glad you shared it. i am also 29, a former teacher, and a new mom to a 2 month old boy named Julian. i grew up in a very conservative family and am still (and will probably always be) the only tattooed member of my family. i thought my parents would practically disown me for getting tattooed (my husband bought me my first tattoo for my birthday a few years ago) and getting my nose pierced but to my shock and surprise, they’ve been pretty great about them. i was trying to devise a plan on how to hide my tattoos from them. but in the end, i was brave, showed them off, and had a family who was less judgmental than i’d given them credit for. however, strangers are a different story. i am not heavily tattooed, but have some that are visible. and i try to do my best to field questions and comments when i feel like they are appropriate. and i hope that my son will be raised in a home that is accepting of what others look like and will have a strong sense of self as a result. thanks for your post!
I started getting tattoos when I was 19, and now, at 27, I have 8 total and plans for more. Since most of mine are on my torso, I don’t really get a lot of people commenting on them. I do have one that is on the back of my arm, that get the most questions – mostly “what does it mean/why did you choose it?” I don’t really mind the questions. Living in a city with a lot of younger people (DC), it’s not really an issue. I know a ton of people who have tattoos, whether it’s just something small, or full sleeves, and it’s kind of fun to get to look at all of that art all of the time.
I don’t really plan on being a mom, so my story is a bit backward on this. When I got my first tattoo, my mom came with me. I got two four leaf clovers (one on each hip – for permanent good luck). She said, “They are cute, and I know you thought about them for a long time, but that’s enough. It’s hard enough to get a job as it is, and people are judge-y.” Which, to be fair, is true. That’s why most of my tattoos after that were easily covered up on a daily basis. But, I kept getting them, and eventually I showed them all to my mom – and one was dedicated to her. When she turned 50, I told her that for her birthday I wanted to get her a tattoo, and she got one four leaf clover to match my two. I love them even more now (though, the tattoos you get when you are 19 are not always the most profound).
I am what one would call “heavily tattooed” I guess
Full back, one chest and two forearm (thus far…mwa ha ha). While I don’t know where I stand on the kid front, I’m about to be moving to a new place and starting a new job, so here again it’s time for long sleeves in 90 degree weather – unless I can find an understanding company like the health store I’m lucky enough to manage now.
It’s interesting how diffferently people react to be based on whether or not they can see my tattoos, but it seems like attitudes are changing for the better. I live in a very small/semi-closed minded place now, so I’m looking forward to my move and not being the most tattooed chick in town!
Thank you for posting this. I loved reading it and usually I don’t post on these types of things, but I just felt like I had to tell this story. I have tattoos, mostly all over my midsection, but recently got started on a half sleeve on my arm and I love each and every one of them and want to have kids one day. I’m like you, I hope that it teaches my children to accept other people and not to judge because plenty of people have judged me because of them, even my own family. My immediate family is in a different state than my extended family and I had not seen my Mom’s side of the family in a very long time and when my Dad’s Mom died earlier this year, of course I went home for the funeral. My Mom’s sister ended up coming to the funeral and I had a short sleeved dress on that covered most of my tattoo on my arm, but the bottom peaked out. My Aunt walked over to me and proceeded to say, “What is THAT?!?” I don’t understand why people, whether it be family or otherwise, think that it’s OK for them to make a comment about how you have a tattoo and they don’t agree, but yet if they do agree with it, or neutral to the thought, they don’t say anything. Luckily my Mom, who wants to get a tattoo, but hasn’t yet because she can’t really settle on what she wants to get or where she wants to get it, came to my aide with her sister. I hope that because I have tattoos, it makes people realize that they aren’t what they perceive them to be and they aren’t all that bad!
I love this post as I too have been looked “weird at” when pushing a stroller with my young son down the boardwalk all while sporting Sailor Jerry swallows in the front of my shoulders. When people ask about them, which is a lot, they are even taken more aback when they look closer and see the banners hanging from the birds’ have the names of grandparents that raised me.
My son attends a catholic school and just a few days ago when I went with him to his first day of 1st grade and left my cardigan in the car and had my tattoos exposed, I got a deep stare from one of the nuns and thought I should perhaps distance myself from my son so he’s not looked at like the heathen of the entire school, lol.
All in all, I’m always welcome to questions about my visible tattoos and especially to questions like, “What if Zac wants one at 16?” or “How do you keep them hidden all time while working in a corporate environment?” I gladly accept the challenge and hope that this is all as an example to my son one day to learn of tolerance and people’s differences no matter their race, size, whatever the case may be.
great to read your blog here… there’s a facebook group Ink is Beautiful: Tattooed Women Unite Against Hate! that some of you may be interested in joining… to share photos, stories, have meet-ups, etc.
http://www.facebook.com/groups/125803277513449/
I’m not a mom yet but my boyfriend and I have tattoos. No one else in my family has tattoos, everyone is very conservative yet very accepting, which is nice. When I was in high school my thought of tattoos was pretty much the same, some girls had one on their lower back and a few guys on their biceps but that’s it. I love to see peoples tattoos because I’m very curious as to why they got certain ones and well how beautiful they are.
I got my first tattoo at 50. There have been more in the decade since then and now I’m a grandma with tattoos on both feet, ankles, and legs!
Loved your text! Your baby is the cutest and you guys seem like an awesome family. I love tatoos and I hope Henry will like them too, or at least respect them. You’re totally NOT lame. Kisses from Brazil.
P.S.: Loved your personal blog as well.
Oh my god, small world moment! I have read your pieces before but I didn’t realize you were married to Hank! (HOTW are friends of friends!) This is a GREAT read about tattoo stereotypes in general. While I am not a mom, I remember going to the beach in Cape Cod with several friends and we were VERY obviously tattooed. There was a middle aged woman next to us that was trying to sneak pictures of us (she wasn’t doing a very good job at the sneaky part) and my friend Kim walked right up, introduced her self cordially and opened a line of communication. The womans first comment was that she had never seen anything like us before which was followed instantly with the question “Well what do you all do for work?!”. When the answer High School English teachers, fire fighter, computer programmer, high school art teacher and a few corporate/office types was delivered she was *shocked*. We all chatted a little bit more and then left them to their vacationing, hopefully thinking something a a little bit different about our “type”. While I am a tattooed girl and I am very familiar with the comments and the stares, it never occurred to me to be the one start the conversation and open that communication to break a stereotype. I have Kimpossible and the women on Cape Cod to thank for that!
I get a lot of crap from my coworkers too. I wouldn’t worry about your kid thinking you’re lame because I’m sure you guys will teach him to be proud of his family and accepting of others. Kids will always find something they can tease you about, even having wicked cool parents with tattoos.
I wish you guys all the best. I say more parents should have tattoos! Woo!
What’s strange is people don’t realize is that this is a form of prejudice, and it’s something that I notice everyone has an opinion of. I started getting tattoos when I was 20, I’m now 24(turning 25 in a few weeks /gulp!), and I’ve gotten my fair share of tattoos in the past 5 years. I’ve also had my lip pieced, and dyed my hair unnatural colors such as pink, purple, blue which eventually faded to green. And everyone at my work always has something to say, and it’s not just at work, it’s the entire world has an opinion of my tattoos, my hair color, my piercings… I’ve always stood up for myself and said, my tattoos are a form of myself, I wouldn’t be who I am without these tattoos, does it make me a bad person because I have them? Does it change me in anyway? I had one lady who said, “I grew up in a catholic household I’m very Christian, that’s why I don’t like that stuff.” I scoffed and said, “Huh that’s funny, I’m Christian too, in fact the first tattoo I ever got was on my neck and it’s a trinity knot, of the father, son and the Holy Ghost…” She immediately said she was sorry and explained that she hadn’t realized, and I explained that no she hadn’t cause from a cursory glance she pegged me as a heathen or someone who belonged to a satanic cult. I often wonder of the phantom children I don’t have, I wonder if they’ll realize the tattoos have symbolism and meaning to me. I hope they do, and I hope to teach them to be more open minded, and to accept different kinds of people than my former generations have.
I loved reading this! I am a new mom (my son is 6 months old) and I am a teacher as well. I have many tattoos – and I’m probably not done yet! This is a topic I have often wondered about myself. I’ve spent years as a teacher, hiding my tattoos just like you. When co-workers would get a glimpse of a few of them, they were always shocked, as if it didn’t “fit my personality”. I taught preschool before having my son (now I am a full time Mom) and spent my days singing songs, painting and coloring, reading storybooks and teaching letters and numbers. Yet under my clothes are many tattoos (I think I’m up to 15 now). Thank you for bringing this topic to people’s attention. LOVED what you had to say!
Having lived in different parts of the country, I find it interesting how tolerance levels vary so widely from community to community. I was born, raised, and finished college in the Washington DC area where the word ‘conservative’ is an understatement. Now I live in Portland, OR and find that I am surrounded by the most accepting, friendly and creative individuals.
Like many people, I started with a few very small tattoos that were easy to hide because I had it engrained in me that *of course* you need to be able to hide your tattoos for acceptance. What if you go on a job interview? And gasp, what about your wedding day? Heaven forbid there’s a bit of ink showing because surely it must mean you belong to a biker gang, do drugs, are incredibly irresponsible, etc etc. Well, I said screw ‘em because I’m in the process of finishing a full color sleeve and unless I want to wear cardigans the rest of my life there’s no hiding this tattoo. And I don’t want to. I am happy to say that I have a full time job working in higher education, I pay my bills, and I do not belong to any gangs (well, not yet ;P ).
I’m 28 and I absolutely plan on having children sometime in the next 5 years or so. My boyfriend/partner/eventual husband loves them and is so supportive (even though he has none himself!). My children will grow up understanding creativity and acceptance, never to judge a book by its cover, and that being different is really beautiful.
First off, I love what you had to say. I am a mom, only one tattoo but want many more. I also have a few piercings and have gotten weird looks from other people for it. I had my septum pierced until recently and I actually had other parents come up to me in the grocery store and tell me that I was setting a bad example for my child. I couldn’t believe that some stranger would actually come up to me and make such a quick judgement, just because I have piercings and look different all around. I just hope that one day it will be more accepted by our society and that our children don’t grow up to be so judgmental of a person just for looking “different”. Once again, I loved reading this and it’s like you stole the words straight from my own mouth!!
I am so happy you posted this. I am 20 years old, and I just got my first tattoo in August (bird silhouettes on the front of my left shoulder that trails out to my chest). I’ve always tried to be a friendly, understanding person to anyone who takes the time to get to know me. After I got my tattoo, people in my family were so shocked. They would tell me things like “You’re going to regret that when you have kids!”, “You just made it that much harder to get a job” and “You ruined your chest!”. These comments were so hurtful to me. Not because it made me suddenly regret getting a tattoo just because people close to me opposed to the idea of it, I don’t regret it at all and would do it over again. It hurt because these people, who have known me all my life, were suddenly slapping a label on me. Don’t get me wrong, I knew getting a tattoo would come with that attribute of being labeled by judgmental people. I knew this especially because my older sister probably has 13 tattoos by now. She has a chest piece, tattoos all down her legs and back and her sides. I watched her get uneasy glances and unwelcome stares almost every time we went out in public. But when you get to know her, she is so sweet and a very bubbly and fun person. I suppose its just that cultural gap that comes with every generation, as it always seems to be the older people that do the scowling. Even though I only have one tattoo, I will probably be getting a few more. A tattoo on someone’s chest, arm, or wrist shouldn’t distract you from their inner self. I don’t have kids yet, but when I do, I hope that they will be raised in a new generation that doesn’t judge you with the first glance.
I have a full sleeve and a few other large pieces. It is very frustrating every day to get stared at. I usually have positive remarks from people, the most annoying is when I’m at parties and people want to show me/tell me all their tattoo ideas which are usually just awful.
I mostly get compliments on them, and I’ve thought about what it will be like to be a Mom and I have very similar thoughts!! I’ll be sharing this link.
My ex husband and I both have numerous tattoos and our children go to a Catholic school. So imagine the looks we got on the first day of school. We didn’t fit into the typical “mold” of private school parents. (Even though 2 of my huge pieces are Jesus and Mary) Our children, however, are so used to our artwork that they are more likely to point out others tattoos and how great the pieces are other than to be frightened or think it is strange. I am confident that we are raising 2 compassionate open minded individuals that will not get tattoos because of us or not get tattoos because of us but rather make their own decisions based on their passions and beliefs. Thank you for writing this…it’s nice to know there are other mom’s out there “like” me
What a great post to read. I really enjoyed reading what your thoughts are about this subject. I guess I personally feel that almost ANYthing could affect a child growing up… you could be the most perfect tattooed-free, always with a clean home mama… and your kid ends up in jail. If you keep doin’ what you’re doin’ (giving that sweet Henry all the love you can) he’ll grow up to be an amazing human! It’s not what’s on the outside… the inside. (Hmm… I just teared up. I’m so emotional over this!
).
Anyway. You’re a lovely person. And, if you teach Henry and love him= he will be one too. I have visible tattoos… and, I will only be getting more. I have NO idea how much more… But, I know my ink wont be raising Ruari. I am. My heart is.
FYI, it’s The Paper Mama.
I think it’s hilarious that “sweet” people can’t have tattoos. From what I can see of yours, they’re really pretty and tasteful. It’s not like you have something creepy. However, if you did want a creepy tattoo, I’m not sure how that would make you less sweet or less of a great mom.
That being said, I do not have any. Mostly because I am very indecisive and also a pansy.
I wrote a similar post recently, in response to a Babble list of Moms and their feelings about their tattoos. I was upset to see that most of the women on the Babble article regretted their decisions. I was more upset to see that Babble didn’t even try to find some Mama’s that actually enjoy and celebrate their heavily tattooed bodies.
I’m glad that you have expressed similar feelings about your tattoos. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone!
(http://nicoleromiglio.blogspot.com/2011/07/being-tattooed-mama.html)
xo
Nicole
I just love your tattoos & think they’re beautiful. Like many people said, it’s art! I just always want to know how people have come up with such beautiful things that I’ve never seen. It’s like asking where someone bought their outfit that you love (isn’t it?). I have friends that say you’ll regret having a tattoo when you’re 90, but I say why? Will I regret having my ears pierced too? My ear lobes will sag but who cares? I’ll be NINETY! I’ll just be happy to be alive! ha! Love this article.
I too get the “oh you don’t look the type to have tattoos” and “what’ll you do when you’re old?” mostly I just laugh them off, but I too kinda hope that by being me, too nice for tattoos, I’m helping people learn that EVERYONE can have tattoos!
My most recent annoyance is people asking me how much my sleeve cost, I don’t go up to strangers and ask them how much their car/coat cost!
I don’t have kids, yet, but I hope they love my tattoos and ask me what they mean, when and why I got them. And realise I’m still a sweet person even with ‘em
I am what some would consider heavily tattooed as well- and, I don’t really mind the comments, or people wanting to show me their tattoos. Even when someone has asked if they can touch my skin, it’s only because they honestly expect it to feel differently! And if we won’t answer questions for them, who will? I have also been told that I’m not like ‘other tattooed people’ because I don’t have an attitude about me. I know what they’re talking about too- because even being as tattooed as I am, I still get intimidated by the occasional front end staff with the ‘cool’ attitudes. Silly, I know, but it happens, and I wish that this stereo-type didn’t exist.
So all in all, I suppose that if I was going to offer someone some advice about getting visibly tattooed, it would be to expect questions and conversations to start over their tattoos. People are curious creatures! And if you’re not feeling in the mood one day, throw on a cute cardigan and remember the long lost days of being left alone! haha
Oh, and for the negative stares and comments? Well use those tattoos to go all ‘tough biker Mama’ on their asses, and stare right back with a gleam in your eye!
Love this! Thank you for sharing your story, you’re one of my new heroes!
I grew up in a family where, the woman especially, thought tattoos are straight from the devil. I was considered the well-behaved &put together kid that would never do anything ‘wrong’. I am now 23 and got my first tattoo in Jan. 2011 saying ‘My Hear is Yours Lord’ across my bicep. I brainstormed and sketched for about 2 years until I had a design I knew reflected who I am. My mother & grandmother appalled by the tattoo did not change the fact that I got this tattoo for myself to display my faith in a artistic way.
I can’t wait to have kids and share the story behind the ink. I will support their decision for a tattoo, of course, when they are 18, have done some sketching, and thought it through a loud. Next tattoo for myself: when I pay off my debt I will be getting 5 birds representing my family members.
I have a little bit different perspective as a mother to a tattooed mom. When my daughter was sixteen she wanted to dye her hair green and I refused. My biggest concern was the dye damaging her hair. Her grandmother,my mother bought her the dye and I ended up helping her dye it the first time. My only request was that she dealt with the curious politely. She was choosing to be different, people would question it and she would need to deal with it.
Her next step was writing a term paper on the pros and cons of body piercing. She gave great arguments and my first trip to the tattoo shop was for her eyebrow ring. I didn’t ask her to write the paper she just knew the questions her parents would ask and preempted us.
At 18 her boyfriend took her for her first tattoo and my major complaint was she went behind my back. She will soon be 29 and has several tattoos and a couple of them are large, cherry blossoms wrapping around her leg from foot to knee and a k0i with flowers and leaves that goes from shoulder to elbow. My son also has several tattoos. My in-laws probably have given my kids the most negativity about their tattoos. They don’t understand but they have learned to accept. I have proudly listen many times to my daughter explain why she has a certain color of hair or about her tattoos. She’s polite and articulate. I’ve had many people tell me that she’s not what they expected. And my daughter has been surprised at times by people’s response in the positive to her. Strangely, my son doesn’t get the same questions.
Let me say, I am a right-wing conservative type person which immediately earns me a lot of negativity when I say that’s what I am. However, I raised my kids to think for their selves, trust in their instincts and stand up for what they believe in. One thing I have never worried about is what my grandchildren would think of their tattooed parents. I watch my daughter and my son deal with their children with love and respect. My oldest grandson is 4 and doesn’t particularly like mommy with purple hair or a mohawk but has already learned that its mommy’s choice. For him it’s just another big people’s rule. In return mommy deals with his fashion quirks, high and tight haircuts and shirt collars buttoned.
I was very fortunate to be raised with unconditional love. I had wonderful accepting parents and as I watch my children interact with their children I believe that unconditional love has been passed on. I don’t worry about what the grandkids will think of the tattoos because they’ve already accepted them as a part of their parents, I don’t think the kids even see them any more.
I’m old enough to have seen perceptions change and I agree that it is becoming more normal for people to have tattoos. I don’t really see it becoming an issue. I’m also young enough to believe that some where along the way tolerance will become the norm and one day we really will all learn to get along. The best advice that I can pass along is love your children with all your heart and always try to see them as their own person. The time you have with them is fleeting, enjoy every moment, every stage. Then sit back and watch the next generation with a smile on your face!
My mom has tattoos, my brother, uncles, cousin and friends. My children will have a tattoo family, that is for sure. I think society is more accepting of it. At least San Antonio, TX is. I am lucky to work in a place where they hardly pass judgement and of all places…the library. I say way-to-go!
My husband and I are both heavily tattooed parents, every time we go out in public people are quick to judge and give us disapproving looks, we also run into a lot of people who love our artwork. I love each and everyone of my tattoos and really couldn’t imagine life without them. The most disapproving comments or looks come from a much older crowd of people. Younger people are the more approving ones, I think because it is something more acceptable and common in this generation. I think as our children grow tattoos will become even more common and they won’t have mach judgment from other is they choose to get tattooed themselves.
I am part Japanese and if any sereotype is looked poorly on is women with tattoos. You would be looked as you couldnt marry unless to a “gangster” or you yourself was a criminal or worse…I like to think I had a breaking moment for some older Japanese women. I was once walking into a onsen at a remote hotel in Japan, (Japanese spa) when some other older women were coming in. We exchanged friendly smiles and bows and parted into the room to change. I overheard them say how sweet and pretty I was. As, I walked out to the onsen, I noticed their shocked face of almost horror to see my leg colorfully tattooed with traditional Japanese cherry blossoms, waves with a koi and a geisha, and my family crest. I smiled, got into the water and after awhile later of them seeing I wasnt mean or as scary as I could have seemed, they were asking the meaning and purpose. I told them how this represented my family heritage and about me. They smiled with warming acceptance and had no shame in touching and asking about my other ones placed around my body. When we left, they smiled and waived. For the rest of the time I stayed at the hotel and I would see them, they would waive, smile and say hello! I like to think I changed the image they percieved tattooed women were like. I proudly display my tattoo’s and am still planning on more. Now, I am a mother and I know he will grow up knowing people are individuals, we walk in our bodies to express and be who we were meant to be.
It’s so interesting to read this when I just got my 2nd tattoo two days ago. I am 24 with two little ones and I am sitting here worrying about what my mother will think. LOL This one is much more visible and bigger than my first. It’s on the back of my neck. I love it and that’s all that should really matter but everyone hates to disappoint their parents. I could really care less about what people back home will think. I come from a small town and when a woman gets a tattoo its the talk of the town for like a week! I have my college graduation party this weekend and I am hoping that the accomplishment of getting my Bachelors degree will not be ruined by everyone asking me why I got another tattoo! I think Johnny Depp says it best ” My body is my journal, and my tattoos are my story.” So maybe that’s just what I will tell them.
We are beautiful and we are winning.
Kristen
YEEESSS!!! I’ve been waiting for this for quite some time! I’m so glad HG posted this!!! As I’ve said to you before,your my favourite Tattooed momma so rock on for this article!! I loved it!! And Henry will be such a handsome boy/young man!!!!
All my best xoxo
I recently had a co-worker look at my feet tattoos and say “what you going to tell your children someday??” I just kind of laughed, but later thought, what is that supposed to mean?!?
Anyway it made me sad for you that those ladies assumed you couldn’t be sweet -and- have tattoos. hmph!
Thanks so much for writing this.
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Love this article. Made me realize that the term “mom” and what it means to be one is changing with this fast paced world.
I don’t want my kids to worry about what others think of them, only what Christ thinks of them. I get looks when I go places even with only foot tattoos. I love my tattoos and they’re a part of me. I not a mom yet but I do not want my kids to see color of skin or what is on it. People are more than their outward appearance. The greatest treasure is finding the person underneath
While I am not a mama with tattoos, I think that they are genuinely beautiful. But the thing that I drew the most from your article was the need for parents to teach acceptance. I think that it is true, no matter tattoos or dress. Someone different should have the same level of respect that anyone “normal” receives. I love that you are fostering an environment of love and acceptance. That is one of my goals as a mother, to have my children love and accept everyone regardless of their differences.. We have a saying in our home, “Different is what makes you special.” I wonder how awesome the world could be if we just loved people??? Thanks for being brave and speaking on such an important topic. I adore your blog!!!!
I am a mom of 2 beautiful children, with tattoos on my arm, wrist, back and ankle. It is very hard! People are constantly judging me and asking me what I will do when my kids want tattoo. I tell them they will be who ever they want and I will love them no matter what they choose, just as they love me, but I always tell them never judge anyone on how they look, but on who they are as a person. I have never been ashamed of who am, neither should they, with or without tattoos! How you look or dress has nothing to do with how you are a parent.
I’m a mommy of two beautiful, perfect kiddos. I have tattoos all over my body, and plan on getting more. I also have many piercings, and my hair is purple…bright purple. My son is too young to form an opinion (15 months) but my daughter, who is 4, LOVES them. She is always telling me “Mommy, I love your beautiful tattoos!”, “I love your purple hair, I think I would like a pink stripe” or that she loves the “earrings” I have on my face. I grew up in an observant Jewish home, where tattoos were seen as “against our religion”…my family has come to accept my way of expressing myself, and they know that having them does not make me a bad mom. My daughter recently began preschool in a somewhat “snooty” part of town. I did get the odd looks and stares at first but only from the other moms (NOT from the dads or teachers!)
My daughter acts as though she is proud of me when I walk in with her <3
One more thing! I have a tattoo on my calf, that is a portrait of my best friend & “1st born”, my dog. When my daughter was only a year old, she would come up to my leg and “pet” my dog, kiss him, and point to him where he was laying. I lost my dog last December, and now that my daughter is 4, she is very happy to see his picture every day. He was a special dog to her, and it makes me so happy to know that she will see him on my leg, and ALWAYS remember him! Also, since he passed away while I was 6 months pregnant with my son, they never got the chance to meet. Now my son will always know who Stoli was, and he will forever remain a big part of our lives
Thanks for sharing your story. I am a heavily tattooed mother as well. I love tattoos and wish they would be respected everywhere especially in the workplace. I got my tattoos in places where they could be easily covered but I wish I could show them off because I am proud of the artwork on my body. My favorite tattoo is the on of a pink and green shamrock with my daughter’s name above it. I am so proud of it and she loves it too. Granted, when she saw it for the first time, she asked if she could get a horse sticker. Yes, my daughter thought my tattoo was a sticker. It made me laugh. To be like mommy, she loves wearing fake tattoos. She calls them “tats.” If she ever decides to get a tattoo, I really hope she is willing to get a tattoo with her mommy. Thanks again for sharing this wonderful story.
I have two tattoos, and like you always get the “But you’re also so conservative” reaction when I reveal them. I love tattoos. I think they’re beautiful, and I do plan on having more. I have a 2-year-old daughter and working on a second baby right now. Reading this post was such a relief – to know other moms go through the same judgment. It’s amazing that it still happens!
Should my children want to get tattoos, I’ll support them. Educating them on safety, choosing the art, etc. Thanks for this post!
i’m just eighteen & i just got my first tattoo. it’s meaningful & small & on my wrist. the comment that gets me the most is, “you don’t seem like the kind of person to get a tattoo.” like, getting a tattoo is something only a certain type of person does & a well-behaved, christian girl is not that person. i would love to get more.
Thank you for posting this. I love tattoos. I have a rather large one on my back that I planned out for months and got the day after I turned 18. I grew up around tattoos, my grandfather has a multiple (including, but not limited to, a skull, my grandmother, and my personal favorite- a spaceship) Almost everyone in my family has one. Including my grandmother, who has a Pegasus on her back. Tattoos have always been a part of my life and my friends’ lives and it annoys us when people say things like, “You’d be so pretty if you didn’t have that on you.”
Umm thanks? But I didn’t ask your opinion. And to those “your body is your temple” argument users, I love my body. How is adding flowers to my shoulder any different than planting flowers outside of a temple? Or painting a mural inside of a church? Embellishing myself with art that i love shows my love for life and my body.
I love this article! I actually just ranted on my Facebook about the stigma attached to body mod. I have a tattoo on the back of my neck, covered by my hair. I have my ears gauged and a nose ring. I plan on getting two half-sleeves and some back pieces. Probably more. I have actually been worried about getting a job as a special education teacher/Deaf Educator. Seeing so many teachers post has helped relieve my fear! I can’t wait to get my tattoos, and I can’t wait to be a mother as well! Lovely ladies with tattoos, don’t let those rude people get you down!
I’ve got two chest tattoos, a few on my back, my feet, and a full sleeve about 75% done. I just became a mom a couple of months ago (hence the 75% status of my sleeve, haha) and I’m excited to know that my kid will grow up with inked parents. I was one of those “sweet” girls until I got the sleeve too. My mother in law is afraid of me. Really? I’m 5 feet tall, and my sleeve has a cupcake on it. A cupcake. It’s not a jail tattoo, lady! Thanks for this article, I love it!
I actually had a very old man (like in his 90s) comment on my shoulder tattoos just last week. He said “I don’t normally like tattoos, I find them grotesque, but yours are kind of cutr”. They are my sons’ handprints. I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or feel complimented.
21 year old mother here with a back piece, thigh piece, half sleeve, and many other tattoos! I love my tattoos and wouldn’t change it for anything. I also live in a smaller town in the Bible belt, so I can relate ! I love when I go out of town I always get so many complements but here I seem to only get stares… Oh well! Cheers for tatted MILF!
I’m expecting my first bambino in November and have 7 tattoos. Not all are readily visible, so when people find out that I have 7, the most common reaction is “SEVEN?!” Living in a suburb of Birmingham, AL and having tattoos AND a baby without being some sort of “trash” absolutely blows some peoples minds. Everyone who has known me from the time I was little just sort of shakes their heads and laughs and knows that I am who I am, no matter what I look like on the outside. I grew up going to a Catholic church where I showed up with hair that was 3 different colors at once, but everyone who knew my family just knew that we were a loud, loving, expressive group of people. The town I grew up in is decidedly more “artsy” than the one I live in now, and all I can hope is that my child grows up not only appreciating other people’s differences, but can see past the differences to know that, most of the time, when people look truly different than everyone else, it’s a type of self-expression. I hope they can see and accept that and feel comfortable enough to express themselves, no matter what others may think.
I have a fair amount of tattoos.
I’m pregnant with my very first child.
I’m a middle school teacher.
I have purple hair.
I don’t cover any of it up!
I am very lucky to work and live in an area where people have been tolerant of my tattoos, and haven’t made me cover any of it up (knock on wood!). If anyone has a problem with me, they haven’t said anything yet! I know people look, but thankfully I haven’t had many rude comments – if anything, it’s just been curiosity. And I can handle that.
I love shattering people’s perceptions of what “tattooed” people are supposed to be like.
I love your shoulder tattoo of the girl in the mirror! I too am a “tattooed mama” as I like to call my self, and I really liked this article!
<3 this post. I'm upset my comment didn't make it the first time. Anyway!!! I think tattoos are so beautiful, especially if the skin is so smooth… it just pops out! I have a few tattoos, one of which is in my belly – a little bird that's going to watch over my future child. This is so cheesy, but I think my tattoos will make for some beautiful storytelling in the future.
I detest the stigma against tattooed people. I see a whole new beauty when someone is tattooed. The worst comments are the ones that *insist* you will regret them later when you're old. Bull. I'd rather see my wrinkled skin covered in pretty ink than plain ol' wrinkles.
I am so Thankful for you, and inspired by you! I am a young married woman (23 and my husband is 26) with quite a few tattoos. And I intend to add to my collection of body art! My incredibly supportive husband has yet t o get any, and may never. He says, as of now, the only thing he can think of that he would get will be our kids names when we someday have them. I agree with everything you said here, and fall into the same category as you. Most people who know me from work didn’t know until recently that I have a tattoo from ankle to knee on my left calf. I also have my right ankle done and a 6″ key in the middle of my back! They thought I was “too sweet” to have tattoos. hahaha I am not sure how a sweet disposition rules out having tattoos, yet most people wouldn’t put them hand in hand. Anyways, my husband and I do intend on having children someday and I have thought about this, aswell. My goal is the same as yours. To spread enlightenment and open-mindedness to my families and the people I encounter. Thank you so much for being such an inspiration and a woman of great beauty, inside and out.
I’m almost 39 and mom to a second-grader. I’m also a Brownie troop co-leader and president of our school’s PTO. I’ve got a quarter-sleeve of violets on my upper right arm, a three-inch pair of poppies on my left shoulder, and a new branch of dogwood blossoms that covers most of my inner left forearm. I never make an effort to cover my tattoos, because for me, that feels dishonest. Like I’m hiding something about myself just so the people around me with think of me a certain way. I think it’s more important to teach my daughter to not hide who she is or what she’s done in order to impress people.
I haven’t heard one single insult based on my tattoos. Granted, I don’t know if anything’s being said behind my back. I get a lot of compliments from other parents. But we’re also in a neighborhood that’s pretty relaxed. I’m not the only somewhat heavily tattooed parent at our school, or the only parent working in the arts. Some of it might be from the nature of my tattoos; they’re all flowers based on botanical prints. Cute little old ladies routinely tell me, “I don’t like tattoos, but yours are really pretty.”
As for my daughter, she currently loves my tattoos. She knows that my quarter-sleeve was inspired by her. If she doesn’t like them later, well, since when do teens like stuff about their parents?
I’m a firm believer in not rushing into tattoos. All of mine were considered and planned, and that’s a message I’ve repeated to her – tattoos are okay, but it’s not something best done on a whim.
Oh – might be worth mentioning that, when my daughter started pre-K, my hair was the color of black cherry Kool-Aid. A few years later, one of the moms I’ve been friends with since our kids were in pre-K confessed that the main reason she originally introduced herself to me way back when was because of my hair color. It gave her the idea that I was, as she put it, “a cool mom”. So, the tattoos, hair colors, etc. aren’t always magnets for criticism. Sometimes they’re beacons to like-minded people who might not realize it otherwise.
Love the story!!! Its nice to know that there are alot of us alike!! My daughter was scared of mine when she was a baby, but now at the age of 7 she loves them and says that one day she would like to have one too….lol. I only have 2 at this point(but plan on quite a few more) and my fiance has a piece on his back, we love tatts and dont really care what people think, bcs no matter what there will always be someone who has something to say, and honestly i dont really care how other people feel, its our bodies and we can do with them as we please. But it was really nice to see someone speak their mind about this!!! Good luck with ur family…….would love to hear how things go in the future!!!!
At 39 I got my first Tattoo. My kids love it. My students question them, when they see them, and my parents question it. I figure it is my way of expressing who I am, but above all they were for ME and no one else but ME. Amen for teaching others to accept people for who they are no matter if they are tattooed, African American, Asian etc. Let’s start judging people on how they treat others not by how they look.
I don’t have any tattoos (only because I’m the most indecisive person on earth!), but I think your tattoos are beautiful, as well as any one else’s. I hope someday when I have kids, I’ll be able to teach them not to judge based on skin or stereotypes, but upon who the person is on the inside. Maybe Henry will think you are lame in some manner (I think it’s inevitable for anyone who has kids lol) but he will be super kind and non-judgmental
My son turns one this month and I have one full sleeve, one half sleeve, tattoos down my spine and ankle tats. Your article struck home to me. My son will only me covered in tattoos. His Uncle and godfather has two full sleeves and a chest piece and we have numerous family and friends who are heavily tatted.
I’ve been fortunate to work in post production where it’s been accepted but our business has started to become very corporate and there is “encouragement” to keep covered up. I don’t. They hired me for my experience, professionalism and technical knowledge and my clients have never complained I do a bad job because of my tattoos.
I’m glad tattoos are more accepted, because when I first started getting them 16 years ago, they were not common and stereotypes ran amuck. I do get looks when I’m with my son, but I contribute that to ignorance.
Thank you for a wonderful article!
I’m not a mom… And I’m not sure I ever plan on being one. I am however a ridiculosly proud Auntie of a 3 year old and one year old. Jack, the older one, has seen my tattoo. Now in my conservative family, tattoos are frowned upon but he likes to see it, touch it and talk about his Auntie’s car (http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f24/BaileysPhotos/tat-3.jpg). Although neither of his parents have any ink, both have expressed they’re okay with his knowledge and limited interaction with my body art. I’m proud of my body art and that I can share that with him- Like you, I’m hoping him being around me will help him become much more tolerant and open.
I am I mother of a 2yr old son and am heavily tattooed as well. I as well get the stinky looks like the ‘tattooed people’s are not to pro-create!! I do often get upset at the glares and the whispering and whatnot because this is being done just due to how I look and that I have a child while looking like this…….and it is funny how sometimes If I am covered up, how different the public acts towards you if they do not see my work. I am a super nice person at heart no matter what and sometimes it confuses people due to how I look because I can see it in their eyes. They expect someone with tattoos of this abundance to be a rude crude person…..but its not true……hence the horrible steriotype that tattooed people have. I believe for someone like me or for the others that are heavily tattooed that it is at a point where it is the sheer beauty of the art that we put on our bodies anymore and not just that we have ‘TATTOOES”, if that makes any sense? But I super appreciate the message that you are putting out because…….YES……..people who have tattooed can pro create! And it is a beautiful thing to have a child……tattooed or not……we are all the same just one a bit more colorful then the next;-)
I want to thank you from the bottom of my tattooed heart for this. It is exactly what I needed. I guess I should probably start from the beginning. I was raised in a strictly Mormon home. My entire life I was taught that I would be “defiling my temple” if I drank or smoked or drank coffee or caffeine and especially if I modified my body at all with tattoos or piercings (although my mother got her boobs done and it wasn’t a problem).
When I got married and had two children, I was still terrified to get a tattoo because my parents could find out. I started out my rebellion by putting purple into my hair. That in itself was shocking to them. It took me over 2 years to finally decide to bite the bullet and I pierced a second hole in my ears. My parents (my mother especially) told me that I was an embarrassment to her and the rest of the family. About a year later, I got two tattoos, both of which had personal meaning to me. I never wanted to be one of those people who had a tattoo shop wall tattoo. I thought long and hard about what I wanted and even longer and even harder about where to put them so my parents would never see them. I managed to hide the fact that I had them for about a year and when my mother found out that I had them (DAMN YOU FACEBOOK!); she threatened to take away my children. She told me “If you are willing to do this to your own body, you cannot be responsible for the welfare of a child.” Thankfully my mother is a sanctimonious bitch but she is also full of shit, and nothing ever came of her threats.
Having someone say something like that to me made me think long and hard about the kind of person, and kind of mother that I wanted to be. I have tried very hard to allow my children to be the authors of their own story. I never want my kids to look back at their childhood and think that they were not accepted for who they are as I felt in my own life. I have two boys who couldn’t be more different, and I LOVE seeing the differences in their personalities and choices in life. They are only two and three, however, whenever appropriate, I allow them to make their own decisions. They choose their own clothes and what they want to eat for breakfast and lunch (whatever I make for dinner is a requirement). Both boys, but especially my oldest, love both mine and my husband’s tattoos. If the time ever comes that one of my children come to me wanting a tattoo, I will recount my story to them and have a talk with them about how intensely personal the choice to modify your body is.
To me, I have realized, my tattoos symbolize SO much more than the obvious meaning in them. They symbolize a new found sense of self awareness and self love that I never achieved previously. Until I allowed myself to be who I was inside, I was so sad. I felt poorly about my post baby body. I felt like I was not unique and there was nothing really special about me. I realized through my own experience that I was still a good person and a good mother even though I had modified my body. In fact, I had modified it in such a way that I was truly happy with myself for the first time in my life.
Thank you for your insight! I look forward to following your blog now that I have found it!
I’m not a father yet, and until there are some major changes dealing with adoption, marriage equality, and such I may never be one. But I do want terribly to be a father, and I am tattooed. I think since tattoos mean so many different things to each person, it’s like wearing your personality on the outside. Many people who know me, know me to be very spiritual (in a loose sense), intensely “old-world”, and very primal. My tattoos reflect that. I hope that if one day I do have a child I can share my tattoos with them. And allow them to see that Tattoos are merely a permanent expression of ones-self. Unfortunately I can also see the otherside. My father’s family was completely and totally shocked about my tattoos (I haven’t even told them my bigger secret), and couldn’t get over how I could do that to my body. To them, they represent gangs, violence, and prison. I think it will take all of us who enjoy the art to show people that this is an expression of self-love, art, and intense inner-knowledge. Sometimes I’m surprised when I look at the one tattoo I drew and designed myself for years before getting, and realize that theres always deeper meaning about myself in it that I never realized.
If my 15-year-old self saw me now, she’d wonder where all my piercing went, why my hair was blue, and how come I didn’t have more tattoos!
I loved reading this!
Both me and my partner have quite a few visible tattoos (arms.legs our hands) and although he never gets asked about it when I talk about having babies in the near future people do pipe up with “what about your tattoos”! As though they somehow affect my ability to be kind or loving or responsible?!
I find it bizarre! they never ask about what my children will think of my other accessories! my Dresses, turbans or taxidermy head pieces!
YOUR POST IS GREAT! the fact that we draw pretty pictures on ourselves connotes nothing towards our deeper values!
I’m actually a follower of your blog and read your original post— I really enjoyed this one, too.
I’ve always been a ‘sweet’ girl, wearing vintage dresses, studying poetry, and earning my scholarship to university. On that note, I have a tattoo on my wrist and plan on getting quite a few more. Whenever I’m in class or doing my student teaching, adults often frown on me. I’ve actually had a teacher tell me I didn’t seem like ‘that sort of girl’.
I really don’t have much to add that you haven’t said, but I smile when I think that I’m breaking those preconceived notions that so many have, especially as a future English teacher!!
This article was really interesting for me to read because my mom, now 37, has over 12 tattoos over her entire body (her whole back is done, arms, has two tattoos on her ankle and feet, etc.) and each has a story or is significant for her and each is beautiful and I love them all. The only problem is, is she is an attorney so it constantly in court or meeting with clients, and she has to constantly cover them up so you doesn’t ‘give the wrong impression’ which has always been such a foreign concept for me because to me… She’s my beautiful amazing mom. A hero in my life.. and for her to cover up something that has such deep meaning for her seemed wrong. As wrong as maybe wearing a wig because people didn’t accept redheads. Or something to that effect.
Even in the office, on a hot day when she removed her cardigan, a co-worker joked that she has ‘as many tattoos as a prison inmate’. As if having tattoos was the trademark of a criminal and likened her to something bad. It infuriated me.
Maybe one day people won’t look at people heavily tattooed so differently. Having many tattoos doesn’t make someone anyless than they are without them. It doesn’t mean you are a certain type of person.
I am a 30 year old mother of 2 boys. I love this whole discussion and I am proudly tattooed. My left arm is a sleeve of Dr.Seuss and it means something to me. People ask me why would I want cartoon characters on my skin for life. It’s fun to explain what all of my tattoos mean, and to share that inner part of myself. When people give me dirty looks, I just ignore them..I don’t really care what they think. This is who I am, and no one should be judging me. Everything u have said is inspiring and I couldn’t agree more. My boys love my tattoos, if they think I’m a lame-oh when they get older..hey, it’s to be expected! Haha most kids are embarrassed by their parents at some point in their lives..I’ll get over it.
as for when I’m sixty..I tell people Hey I’ll be the cool quirky grandma on the block..who could ask for more?
I’m really glad I found this article (and your blog!) because I too am “heavily tattooed”. I don’t have kids yet, but it’s definitely something I plan for the future. I have a half sleeve on each arm, and several elsewhere. I know exactly how you feel about the crazy looks and the people being surprised when they find out what’s hiding under those long sleeves! I get that a lot too. I live in Austin though and there are a LOT of young tattooed women here and it makes me so happy to know there are others out there going through the same things. I hope that by the time we’re all parents tattoos on moms will be such a big that our kids WILL grow up to be more open-minded about free expression like that.
I only have a tiny tattoo on my wrist. It’s amazing how something so small can stop someone from being the world’s proudest grandmother & make them into the world’s most disappointed. I know it has a lot to do with a “drastic” cultural difference, but c’mon, really? Not accepting people for who they are, & how they express themselves should not be a part of any culture. And if it was at some point, that behavior should be tossed in the trash. It’s interesting to look back throughout history & see who was discriminated against & why. The why was always illogical & always seemed to stem from traditional views. One day, expressing yourself & showing your creative, beautiful nature won’t be frowned upon, but until then I just say eff ‘em.
I wouldn’t consider myself heavily tattooed at all. I only have 2. I think tattoos are a beautiful work of art. I don’t think people should be judged by them, but of course, we know, sadly, there will always be something to judge on. I am thrilled to see more tattooed parents raising kids to be open minded. Like you said Dani, a child should learn to never base an opinion JUST on what they SEE. If more kids learned this, the world would be SO much better.
Thank you for this! As a tattooed teacher (13 and counting) in a conservative school with conservative parents, your post really spoke to me. I have often wondered how it would be when my husband and I have kids (he is heavily tattooed). I am really glad to see someone with such a positive attitude and I plan to share this with some friends and family who have judged me as your former coworkers judged you.
What a great post. I wouldn’t say I’m heavily tattooed “yet”
but I do have matching shoulder caps that will eventually turn into a back piece. My husband is heavily tattooed though and has both sleeves done and a chest piece. I often wonder what my daughter will think of it, whether she will like them or not or want one for herself. I do like that it is the norm to her and she won’t take a second glance when she sees someone with ink. I hope it also makes her more accepting of others differences. I work in a corporate environment and have to cover up mine everyday, at least in the summer and spring. They go far enough down that t-shirts don’t cover and I have to at least wear 3/4 sleeves. It’s a pain and I hate that I have to do it, but I understand. When people o/s work see me in regular clothing they are shocked. They say the same thing “I thought you were a sweet girl” “I never would have thought” etc. I don’t know what sweet has to do with it. Apparently tattoos make you a badass lol I thought pushing a kid out of my vagina made me a badass but I’ll take both. 
I may still be VERY young (I’m seventeen XD) but I want to have kids one day, at the same time that I want to have a black cross tattooed on my upper back and a rooster with an orchid in my leg. I also want to have piercings, yet I hadn’t thought of how my (VERY) future kids will think of me as their mother and as a woman with a cross and a nose piercing. Yes, maybe people will stereotype me, maybe my children will be embarassed…or maybe not. I think as long as you’re happy with yourself and respect yourself, your kids will see it and they’ll be proud of you because you’re an unique mom that has taught them about diversity and respect and pride for your own body. So I have to say: Great post and thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts!
While not a mom yet, someday I will be. I have a few tats and I pretty much look at them in awe every day because I am that in love with them. For me, tattoos are about stories, feelings, and creativity. I say, as long as you love your tattoos (hopefully more people do this than don’t) and what they mean for you and you can transfer that love of them to your child and others, then life is good.
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I am a school teacher (actually won 2011 Special Education teacher for the year in my state – proudly wore a dress that neither hid nor showed off my tattoos. I have 4 children and my 18 year old daughter has already gotten her first tattoo and it was I who sat with her for the grueling 3 1/2 hours it took to outline the beautiful creation. A tattoo does not make a person bad or good, cool or lame – it is an outward expression of a person’s “style” for lack of a better word. I love all of mine…and now I love my daughter’s too. I am proud of anyone who makes a decision to get one…and who makes a decision not too….
Wow, wow, wow! This hit home, dear! I’m a first time mom (27) to an AWESOME Noah! I have a right sleeve and a partial back of ink. I thought about the tattoos and what it would be like when I was a mom before I had gotten them… BUT, you really don’t know how you’ll feel UNTIL you’re actually a mom (at least for me). I too have received glares (real or perceived, I’m not sure…) but questions as well from friends/family/strangers. My story is quite similar to yours and it’s quite refreshing to hear your take. I love your perspective and insight. I hope to raise an open-minded child who accepts and respects all kinds of individuals. I’m encouraged by your post! Thanks
Wow! You really hit the nail on the head with this one. Our stories are quite similar; I could sign my name at the bottom and my friends would totally think I wrote it. Well, almost. I was a high school science teacher, now I am a stay at home mom with my son. I’ve had that same reaction from parents/students/fellow teachers. Reactions from students was always the funniest, because I went from being a lame, boring teacher to being “cool.” But it was weird because some thought since I had tattoos they could swear around me and not do their homework. It’s encouraging to know there are other moms out their on the same path. I’ll go ahead and forward this link to my mom just to show her I’m not the only one.
So I’ve got to comment. This was just a topic of conversation at my house over the weekend. My mom just found out about my beautiful back tat. Its not done yet, its still only the outline. Its the Alphonse Mucha painting “Musical mistress”, http://ss.textcube.com/blog/2/22957/attach/XHhiMU2tlD.jpg.
Anyway my mother and aunts bring this up as a topic of conversation every time they can. They love to tell me that I’m going to regret my decision when I have old wrinkley skin. They go on and on about how un-sanitary it is, and that I’m probably going to catch a disease or something.
My response is this: To get this tattoo, I wated for a year and a half to get into the Tattoo Artist. I got pregnant, had a baby and she was 6 months old by the time I got the tattoo. I had PLENTY of time to back out and re-think it. I had already waited over 2 years before that to actaully make the appointment, to get the tattoo. So I love my tattoo, it has never bothered me that it shows through shirts or tank tops. You only see it if your looking for a it. So when I’m old and she’s old too, we will be old together. And I will have a friend there that “has my back” and I have a story about her. So no I will never regret having my tattoo. She’s beautiful, and meaningful. And if my daughter wants to get a tattoo when she’s older this is what I will tell her. Take your time, and make it count. It will be with you until there is no you anymore. Don’t just get one because your best friend is, take your time this is about you.
I have 6 tattoos right now, all are pretty large and I have a 6 year old. I liked what you said about the dress you can’t take off. People do sometimes touch my tats, usually the one on my chest/breast or the one on my left arm. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll regret the tattoos someday, but I really can’t imagine it. My tattoos all mean something to me, even the butterfly tramp stamp that seems rather blah… They tell a story. The one on my left arm covers up my scars from years of cutting. It says Authentically Beautiful. I have 6 or 7 more tats right now in the works. And some of my tats are purely art to me. I have no idea what I’ll look like when I’m 40 or when I’ll say enough is enough. My daughter is actually planning out a tattoo with me. She says she’ll wait til she’s 18. I waited until i was 21 to start gettting tats. I hope I can help foster Tattoo and Piercing acceptance in younger generations so we can have more workplace tolerance of body modifications. I absolutely love piercings and tattoos. I’m the most tatted/most pierced in my social circle and sometimes I have to deal with stereotypes associated with being a confident woman going against the grain. But that attitude is what I want to foster in my daughter. Confidence and personal freedom.
This was great to read! I am a mom with tattoos and piercings and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that feels this way. I wish that people would be more open to women/moms and tattoos. While not everyone has to like them or want one, just to be more open to those of us that choose to have them. I was not raised around people that had them, however I remember drawing on myself and when I would see someone with a/many tats I always loved them. I just turned 32yrs old and until about 6 mo ago, my tats have always been “under-cover”. I had thought about getting another tat and I wanted it to be more…well, meaningful, that the others. So I gave it a lot of thought and talked with my husband and our kids. Finally I decided on this 1/2 sleeve that is still being worked on. I love it…and I know it will be even more amazing when it’s finally finished. I noticed something right after my girl started Kindergarten…they bring home a million different papers for us as parents to look over. One of the “rules” was discussing Tattoos/Piercings….basically stating that because the kids are not allowed to have them, that we should set “examples” and not display ours. This is regular public school system…I don’t understand…what happened to “FREEDOM” or has that all gone by the way side? I notice the looks here and there and I don’t care…Like I was taught “if they are picking on you, they are leaving someone else alone”. But to say that I’m not setting an example because I have tats is wrong. How is that teaching our children to accept others or how teaching them to be themselves no matter what? My daughter & step-daughter love my arm piece! They know that it is part of who I am, as well as symbols of them and something to show them that no matter what, they will always be with me. I have to go to my first school function at the end of the month and I’m wondering how that will go. I was polite and coved my tat when speaking with the principle the other day…but I won’t wear long sleeves just to pick my child up from school. I have decided to become a memeber of a type of Coucil at her school and this will be the meeting I go to on the 28th…and I’m wondering…Do I cover my Tattoos?…Or be myself? If I’m just myself will I be ignored…asked to leave? If so…can I keep my mouth shut!? It’s sad really…that this is 2011, almost 2012, and people are STILL so closed-minded. Whatever the outcome, our kids will grow up knowing that they should be proud of who they are no matter what!! Thanks everyone for sharing…this is great to read!
I’m not a Mom and I’m not even heavily tattooed (yet) but, even I get stares. One of my best friends is heavily tattooed, a mother, a wife, and a writer and food blogger in Chicago (where we live) this story reminded me of her and that there are other people that have become something great regardless of what society thinks of them. Thank you for a great piece. I loved it and it made my day..
I have two tattoos. One on my rib, the other on my hip. So people dont ever see them but when summer rolls around and I put on a bathing suit they aren’t hidden anymore. Or when people bring up tattoos Ill speak up and mention I have two. At first people are like oh sure, and then I show them and they can’t believe how huge they are or that they didn’t think I was the type of person to get tattoos. Why does it matter? i didn’t know you had to be a certain type of person to have tattoos. So many people find them degrading, and it appalls me. People should be able to express themselves however they want, and many people do that through art on their bodies. So cheers to you girl! I think your son is going to think it’s awesome his mom is so expressive and artistic. So I may not have kids but I still get judged. But instead of people thinking they are offensive or crude they don’t think i’m “badass” or “cool” enough. but its like you said in your other blog about growing up, who cares what people think. just be yourself, and enjoy it. life is better that way
I have four kids . I am a single mother . I have five tattoos . at first I only wanted one. my most recent tattoo has all my kids names on it. my kids tell me my tattoos are beAutiful . I’m glad they view art as beauty . I think children should be introduced to culture to learn alll about it . different tattoos come from different cultures. tattoos are a great way to introduce them .
I became the girl with the Jesus tattoo. I have a half sleeve of Jesus and the sacred heart. My absolute favorite (a lot of sarcasm) is the need for total strangers to tell me exactly what comes to the ole thinker without any filter, I mean its not like I tell you that you need some makeup your bags are showing how do you think that makes the rest of us feel. They tell me, Jesus hates tattoos. Well I guess I’m gonna burn. What really shocked me was that I get the most grief from these claimed “christians” I guess they missed the judge not part. I like the “what do you think thats gonna look like twenty years from now” I reply, “probably as gross as your flabby arm.” I will admit it may not have been a good idea to put a face of a piece of flesh that expands a lot. I always know when I’m putting on a little too much weight when Jesus starts looking chubby
I have a four year old son and I live in suburban south where most things are not accepted. I get a lot of stares, a lot of comments, a lot of grief. I tell every youngster I come across who cannot wait to get their sleeve to be ready for that. Be ready for the stereotype and most of all be ready to be the tattoo. Another thing about moms with tattoos, why do the other park moms feel so superior and how does it feel up there on your pedestal? I think there will always be people who fear everything outside of their social norm and there will always be the deviant. I hope to teach my son to be aware of both and to decide how he feels based on his values and not what society wants. While tattoos will become more and more popular and we will enter new generations with the deviants becoming the norm, there will be a new
taboo and I hope to raise an open minded citizen with a strong kind heart.
I couldn’t agree with you more! Nothing much else to say…it was all said there and that is exactly how I feel…I think the same things when it gets brough up. I have been told that it’s “trashy”, it’s “not lady-like”, and the most common “how will that look when you are old”…and to the “trashy” comment I just won’t address it, I mean really? The lady part…yeah I don’t care! I am who I am and my husband and kids know exactly who “I” truely am. And the old part…again, who cares! We are ALLLLL gonna look like ass when we are old…Only those of us with Tattoos will have some bad ass story to tell our grandkids!
I worked as an aide at my alma mater after college. Students commented on never seeing a teacher with tattoos and a lip piercing. I like to think my adornments allow them to open up and trust me, perhaps in a way they hadn’t trusted teachers before. Seeing someone like you in a learning environment is refreshing, soothing, and reassuring. I hope you consider teaching while showing some of your tattoos.
I agree with everything you said! I have a 9 year old, 2 and a half year old and a 11 month old. When I go to pick up my 9 year old from school I feel the stares. I sometimes ask Articia (my daughter) if she gets and comments about me or if she notices that people are looking at me and she’s always wondering why I’m asking, she doesn’t see anything abnormal about me or others that look like me. Tattooed or not, we all look the same to her…..just wish that some adults could have the same mentality as her!