Ruby's Corner

Oh, Middle School

So here I am, in the middle of  my second year of middle school.

It’s going okay so far.

But I’m noticing, like with my BFFs who are in other schools, that some of us seem to have the same type of people. Like, beyond the usual types you see in movies – oh look, there’s the Jock! and OMG, there’s the prom queen. In my school, liking a really cool band that your crush likes isn’t enough for the person to like you. I’d call that person the Jordan Catalano type. Like, you can never figure out what he is thinking, right?

So here are some types of people you may remember from when you were in school or may be seeing in school, if you’re there right now.

The Kid Who Is Obsessed With Horses: Why are people so into ponies? I don’t get it. I mean, yes, I liked playing with the My Little Pony dolls when I was little, but seriously? I never wanted to get on one. But you know, there’s always that person at school who is going to the stables to clean her little pony, or running off to the races to do whatever people do at the track.

The We-Are-Meant-To-Be-Together Person: So, I think that we all have that boy or girl who likes all the same things as you do, like all the same bands and all the same music and gets all your jokes and that you talk to/text with all the time, but he/she still likes someone else who has nothing in common with them. You know what I’m saying, right? Like, all you want to do is go, Dude, I’m standing RIGHT HERE, but something in you doesn’t let you, and so you just be their friend and you have them in your life in a different way.

The Kid That Weirds You Out:  What is it about this kid? It’s like a creepy/stalker YouTube collab walking around in your school, and when you reach out to the Kid That Weirds You Out,  you get laser beam death eyes, so you just back away. That kid grows up to run a really cool company like Apple and turns out to be awesome, right?

The Kid That Bullies: Ugh, this kid. Can be a girl or a boy, and just seems to be mean and everyone is terrified of this person. I’m not saying this one beats kids up, but they have a way with words that hurts. I don’t know what it’s like to be hit by someone, but when the Kid-That-Bullies throws those words at you, it’s like getting punched in the face and you want to cry because it hurts so bad.

The Socially Awkward-Kid: Okay, I will admit, this one is ME. I find myself pretty fantastic but apparently that’s not enough for middle school.

The Really Cute One: This is the boy or girl that everyone has a crush on. They aren’t always the most popular kid in the school, but definitely stand out for their cuteness. Most of the time, they’re pretty awesome, too.

The Mr. McBragger: Ugh, this is the rudest type of boy I know. He’s the one that brags about having “5 girlfriends” when they were only 7 years old. Seriously, tell me more about your imaginary harem of doting girlfriends, I can’t wait to hear more about them again tomorrow. Sigh.

The All-Hands-On-Deck Kid: This is the aggressive numbnut that walks around school kicking and shoving people, doesn’t say “Oh, sorry” when he bumps into you in the corridor in between periods and has a cloud of steam coming out of his ears (okay, I know you can’t see it IRL, but you know it’s happening). I tend to avoid this kid as much as I can.

The Don’t-You-Know-Who-I-Am Kid: This is the person who is really super-talented and is super-proud of it and wants everyone to know it. So, more like a Rachel Berry than a Kurt Hummel. Super braggy, always singing so you never forget who she is. And by the way, she is a STAR. Well, in her mind. Also can be a boy.

The Best Friend: This is the person who helps you get through middle school. The one you can count on, no matter what. Hard to find, I know, but your BFF is here somewhere. I know it.

So that’s what I’m seeing at school. Who did you have? Or have now? Talk to me on my Facebook page, Twitter or my Tumblr.

Faces picture via ShutterStock

  • Colleen Sweeney

    Ah…I remember these types fondly. I definitely had my Jordan Catalano. For eight years, I was head-over-heels for this guy. And then one day I just woke up and realized he was not the guy I wanted to be around.

  • Kimberly Nappi

    Seriously, tell me more about your imaginary harem of doting girlfriends, I can’t wait to hear more about them again tomorrow.” I laughed out loud at that one, and I remember all of these people from middle school (and high school)!

  • Melanie Mccauley

    Haha, I think this holds for all ages, middle school, high school, and beyond.

  • Tim Dunbar

    Love your work! You speak very specifically to your peers and do a great job at it. I’m assuming you want to be a writer someday (you’re already a writer, but I’m talking professionally), so here’s one tiny bit of writerly advice: People are referred to as “who;” things are referred to as “that.” So it would be “The Kid Who Bullies,” or (as you correctly stated), “The Kid Who is Into Horses.” It’s a small thing, but one that will make a difference to those who may hire you one day.

    • Marcelle Ruby Karp

      omg tnx for that, i’m still learning all that shnazz in school!

  • Diana Lang

    I amazed that you’re only in middle school. You seem to be so wise beyond your years, and the fact that you know who Jordan Catalano is means that you are way cool and definitely not socially awkward. Middle school is tough, and the “types” haven’t changed in the 15 or so years it’s been since I was in middle school, but the fact that you know you’re pretty fantastic is all that matters. Keep that forever, please?

  • Brynna Venoski

    I’m very impressed with your observations! I wish I had taken the time to notice these things in Middle School; took me until about 10th grade. The weird thing is, these “non-stereotypical-stereotypes” exist even in my college life. Keep noticing things and writing about them! Bravo, Ruby, bravo!

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  • Leighann Marie

    Haha I remember those types! I found another type: The Kid Obsessed with British Humor. There’s always that one kid frequently making Monty Python and Dr. Who references… maybe that’s higher up in the school system.

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