When I catch people who call themselves ‘wedding experts’ on TV being interviewed and presenting items that a future bride would want on her big day: white, poufy princess-like gown, multi-tiered and flavored cakes, colorful flower arrangements, and all that pageantry, it does grab my attention. A wedding takes a lot of planning and most importantly, money and I’m amazed at the lengths people would go through just so they could look great on their wedding photos.
But nothing says turn-off than when the wedding experts make this sweeping statement: ‘All girls dream of their wedding day’.
That’s when I kill the TV because this stranger basically generalized all girls as Bridezillas in the making. When in fact, I was a little girl but I never dreamed of my wedding day.
When I was a little girl, marriage was far from my mind, so it follows that I didn’t imagine my wedding day. I attended weddings; was even a flower girl once but at the time, I was more worried on how to walk daintily on the carpeted aisle and to throw the flower petals on the floor with grace. I saw wedding pictures of family and relatives, even sat through their old-school reception videos which usually had Atlantic Starr’s ‘Always’ playing in the background. Still, I didn’t dream of my wedding day.
See, I was busy being a kid who would rather don a Batgirl costume on my 7th birthday even when the toppers on my cake were Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I was building forts out of clean sheets and thinking it was a castle and my home, my first real estate however imaginary and can be disassembled in a jiffy upon discovery of my mother who just did the laundry.
I was playing outside with my mates as superheroes saving the day because the kids who were tapped to play villains decided they wanted evil to win over good. What kind of superheroes would we be if we let anarchy win?
I wrote on used cigarette foil packs and old receipts with my made-up name, home address, and signature, as if I was entering multiple raffles. I waited for my name to get picked and I was always the winner!
I was far too engrossed in the ‘real’ love triangle of Hulk Hogan, Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage (RIP), and Elizabeth, and rooted for Jake the Snake to win so he could unleash the snake inside his sack on his opponent before I realized how symbolically sleazy that was.
I learned to ride a bike first with the training wheels on and then, got a bigger bike, crashed a lot, got hurt plenty, but dusted myself up and rode that bike again round the block showing off my biking skills.
I was in and out of the library borrowing fairy tales with princesses who had a happy ending with Prince Charming with either a kiss or a wedding. I watched all the Disney Princesses and sang their songs by heart and yet, I still didn’t dream of my wedding day.
And guess what, that little girl grew up and I have yet to dream of my wedding day. Maybe someday, maybe never and that’s okay. What’s not is ‘wedding experts’ going on TV and giving a stupid generalization that all girls dream of their wedding day. Lady/Dude, you don’t know all little girls. You might be surprised how much they dream and how varied, weird, and awesome those dreams could be. A wedding day may be one of them but not just the one and only true dream. Puh-leeze. Don’t box little girls’ minds in.
You can read more from Melissa Orcine on her blog.