Pet Peeves No means yes, right? Maybe? Jennifer Still

Persistence is generally seen a a positive trait. Even Aaliyah knew it: if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again. Those who don’t give up are to be admired and respected for standing tall in the face of adversity and not throwing in the towel. Except sometimes, they really probably should.

There’s nothing worse than someone who can’t (or won’t) take a hint. You know the type: a friend or a casual acquaintance makes a request of you that you’re not really feeling. They’re nice enough, so you try and break it to them gently that you’d rather, say, scrape your skin off with a cheese grater than hang out/ help them move/ drive them somewhere/ watch their kids or pets, etc.

At first, you try making general excuses: you’re tired after a long day at work and have “a lot going on” right now. Sure, you could just say what you’re thinking (“Hell no!” ring a bell?), but you see no reason to hurt their feelings.

But then they ask again. And again. And again. Your replies become a little shorter, a bit more frank. You decide to be honest while still kind. “I’m not really interested in hanging out with a group of people I have zero in common with,” you finally admit. You think this will most definitely put an end to things but surprise surprise: you’re wrong.

One of the worst things about overly persistent people is that they’ll continue to push the limits of your patience by repeating their requests in increasingly annoying (and often times passive-aggressive) ways. They mention that they’re going somewhere where many of your other friends will be or say that others have been asking where you’ve been. They mention how hard it is do to whatever the activity is alone. They get on your last damn nerve.

Finally, you break. You’re forced to become the bad guy and hurt some feelings by spelling things out in a way that’s clear and concise and most likely a bit rude. In a perfect world, the offending party finally “gets it” and moves on. Occasionally, however, you get a guilt trip complete with pouting, sighing, and (if you’re lucky) a taste of the silent treatment.

Listen, I’m not a mean person. Really! I’m actually a pacifist that never wants to seem unnecessarily rude, hence the reason I don’t tell these clowns to get to steppin’ from the beginning. I drop pretty clear hints and assume that people have enough self-awareness and social skills to pick up what I’m putting down. Most do. We’re talking about the ones who don’t.

The problem is that by the time you get to breaking point, chances are that the offenders have already debased themselves to a point that seems, well… kinda desperate. If you didn’t want to hang out with them before, you sure won’t once you’ve been asked 500 times and given a sob story fit for an Oscar.

Unfortunately, some people just can’t take a nicely phrased “no” for an answer, leaving you to take it to Rudeville. A girl can only take so much, after all.

Featured image by Jennifer Still; .gif by myniceprofile.com.

Jennifer Still has an overwhelming fondness for nail art, afternoon naps and E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial. She rarely changes out of pyjamas during the weekdays. Or the weekends. She is the co-editor at HelloGiggles and you can follow her on tumblr at stilljennifer.com or Twitter at @jenniferlstill

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  6. sometimes i worry i’m THAT annoying pseudo-friend who asks someone if they want to hang out and they’re like, “yeah! let’s hang out!” but never follows up. i guess i should learn to take the hint!

  7. Amen to this! I have SO been forced to Rudeville so many times because of pushy people. They back you into a TINY corner leaving either having to comply to their request (and be downright miserable) or push them back. Jen, you are spot on!

  8. One of my many poor assumptions: People have enough self-awareness.
    It’s just frustrating when you’re honest with people and give them a straight answer that they most likely don’t want to hear and then you’re the bitch! Okay, /end rant :)

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