Things I've Learned

No, I'm Definitely Not Addicted To Psychics

In times of crisis, we flock to retail therapy. Most buy butter-smooth leather purses and boots, dramatically change their hair, or buy the large tub of froyo. I, on the other hand, willingly pay to talk to psychic strangers.

A little background: When your mom makes you practice transcendental meditation before preschool, it’s also realistic that an array of psychics will pepper your childhood. In my case, both were true.

Before you think I’m crazy, I will readily admit that it’s all for fun. I would be insane to take them seriously and would never make a life decision based on something a psychic said.  And no matter what these all-knowing strangers tell me, I truly believe we are the masters of our own destiny. I do, however, think psychics can be extremely helpful.

Nine times out of ten when I seek out a psychic, it happens during landmark moments – when I’m entering into a new phase of life, or moving up jean sizes. And that is when it makes the most sense. Because other than talking to dead loved ones or hearing about your past lives (I was a Swedish princess. Brag!), it’s the best pep talk you’ll ever get in your whole life.

He or she confirms that you will find true love, have those kids you want (or not have the kids you don’t want), and then remind you that you’re being looked after by many. I’ve realized that if it’s artificial to think of a new purse making someone happy, it’s equally as crazy to have an old woman tell you you’re going to meet your first husband at a parade. Maybe that’s why tall hats and tiny motorcycles now turn me on. But it’s amazing to think that a person who doesn’t know you can give you so much hope and excitement about your own life (and random parades). Somehow it all just makes sense.

Sometimes the advice you believe the most is the one that come from perfect strangers who have no vested interest in your happiness, other than the money you are paying them. According to the last psychic I talked to, my best years are yet to come.  And let’s face it, who doesn’t want to hear that they are going to be fabulous at 40? I’ll gladly pay for therapy like that.

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Emily Freda Foster is a writer, producer and esteemed tap dancer. Follow her on twitter here.

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