Two of my favorite things that I’ve ever done are: A) Doing a semester abroad in London and B) Getting a breast reduction. Both involved quite a bit of thought and work on my part. All of which paid off. Big time. And little time. Ba-dum-dum. I’ll be here all column. Try the veal.
For the semester abroad, I told my parents that if they would pay for the program and getting me there, I’d earn all of my spending money. In thinking about what gig would bring in the most and fastest cash, I came up with the idea of staying in Boston (where I went to school) for the summer, getting my Real Estate License and renting apartments. This test involves quite a bit of math. Some people are good at math. I am not one of them. And yet, I killed it, which made me super proud. Somebody really wanted to go to London. And I did and it was off the charts epic. I try very hard to avoid using the word ‘epic’ but it really best describes those four months in London and all of the traveling I did while there. You drink with your professors in the Student Union during the day, guys. So immature. Of all the things I did while there, that’s the one that I choose to reference? But like I said, you do drink with your professors in the Student Union during the day, guys. But this column, this time, is really less about A and more about B.
I know. If you have an A and a B, you’re really supposed to have a C. But F U C. And now I’m doing alphabet jokes. Back to B. Which is hardly what I was. I was closer to a Double D. I’m not a tall girl and I didn’t like them (them being my breasts, I didn’t care one way or another about tall girls) which resulted in big t-shirts and lots of them. You can really tell a lot about a girl at the beach. When a girl is laying out and gets up to get something to drink, she’s either the girl who pulls on shorts for the walk or the girl who pulls on a t-shirt for the walk. I couldn’t get the t-shirt on fast enough. Shut up, adorable sun dress type cover up wear-ers. Let me have my very black or white comparison to make my point. I do know that you guys are out there and that you’re very very pretty in your adorable sun dress type cover ups.
As you can imagine, I was always super self-conscious of my chest. In fact, since we’re talking about the beach, I vividly remember standing by the ocean during Senior Week of high school. I was wearing a t-shirt that I’d cut up so the arms were cut off and I’d cut a v-neck out of the collar. Out of nowhere, a really hot older guy who I just kind of knew came up to me and before I knew what was happening – he totally motorboated me. I was horrified. Naturally, I played it cool. I think I laughed along with him. Although, I’m not positive as I only remember the horrified part.
It was a few years after that when I decided that I wanted to get a breast reduction. I went and talked to a surgeon about it and he told me that he tells all of his patients to try to lose some weight first, to see if I might lose the weight there and the size would go down without surgery. I was slightly overweight, therefore this was a healthy and an intelligent plan. So, I did and it didn’t. When I went back for another appointment, as per his instructions, I’d brought pictures (that I’d torn out of magazines) of breasts that I thought I wanted. Easy Tigers. It was way more of an Off The Rack catalogue shopping trip than a collection of racks to pin up to a mechanic’s bathroom. Side note, none of my mechanics have ever had topless lady pics in their bathrooms, but movie mechanics do. And I think in movies. So, my surgeon looked through the pictures with me and drew on me what he was thinking. He was thinking a little bigger than I was thinking. I believe I said something like, “I want to be completely flat.” Wisely, he assured me that the grass is always greener and that while I thought I wanted to go to the other extreme, that patients who do are often upset afterwards and some even come back to go up a size. I couldn’t imagine that this would be the case with me but eventually he convinced me to go the 34B route. And I’m so glad that he did. So are my many, many suitors that followed. I jest. Or maybe I don’t. The point is, any chance to type “suitors”, I’m going to do it.
If you’ve read me here before, it will be no suprirse for you to hear that I’m easily prone to being anxious and am even maybe a Semi-Pro Hypochondriac. But with this … 100% excitement. No fear. I had skater mentality. I remember making jokes while being wheeled in, telling my sister if anything went wrong she could have my stereo. By the way, what’s a stereo? But really, I was pumped and cracking jokes like someone was filming the thing. I was totally like one of the Jackass guys going into it. In fact, now I’m mad we didn’t shoot it. “My name is Jill Kushner and this is The Breast Reduction!” In all seriousness, this surgery is no joke. You’re on the table 4-5 hours. That’s like 4-5 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. I like that show. It’s just a lot of hours. What? You don’t tell time based on how many episodes of a TV show something will take? I got into TV Show O’Clock after using it to explain time frames to my 5 year-old nephew. “The drive will take two iCarlys.”
The surgery went really well. And they kicked me out the next day. I think it was one day after that that I made my mom take me shopping for lycra tank tops. They were ridiculously, um, inappropriate. I recall one being chartreuse. That is not okay. I also remember being so ecstatic seeing myself in them that I cried. Oh, and I also remember straining something because I shouldn’t have been lifting my arms up over my head over and over again to try on tight tops less than two days after surgery. But I didn’t care. The funny thing was, when I went back to school in Boston (I had done this over a winter break at home in Baltimore), no one could quite figure out what was different about me and yet everybody noticed something was. “Did you lose a ton of weight?” “Did you change your hair?” “You look awesome. What’s different?” I was wearing small tops for the first time and likely smiling a lot more. And, well, I had great breasts. The T-word seemed to be called for there but I’ll spare you. Also, I was not so shy anymore. I told people what I had done and had zero problem with it. I remember a friend of mine used to go tanning and made me swear that if anyone asked, I had to deny that she went. For me, that was just crazy town. It is what it is and I embraced it. In fact, I recall flashing many, many people. Too many. There are likely some of you out there who were on the receiving end and I’m sorry/you’re welcome. I clearly remember my Poppy’s reaction to me flashing him. “Oh for god’s sake, Jill.” Which was his same response when I’d call him up each month to tell him when I got my period. Don’t misunderstand. It wasn’t an I’m not pregnant call. It was just to make him laugh and say, “Oh for god’s sake, Jill.” I miss that guy. He was cute as hell. I don’t, however, miss the Double Ds. Not even a little. Likely the first time someone compared the best grandfather ever whose since passed away to her pre-surgery large breasts. Or maybe it’s the millionth time. There’s really no way to tell. Or is there? Please call 1-800-555-IDID if you’ve made the comparison and 1-800-555-JILLISCRAZY if you have not made the comparison.
My point of sharing this with you is that I realize that many people have pre-conceived notions and strong opinions about elective surgery. I’ve always felt that if something is being done safely, under the supervision of a solid medical team who has advised you every step of the way and taking all pre-surgery steps/options into consideration (for me, this was first trying to lose weight to see if that would help instead of surgery, but it did not), then you have my blessing and you most certainly do not have my judgement. Because if something is so important to you and has become such a big part of your life (for me, there wasn’t a day that went by that I wasn’t physically uncomfortable and mentally uncomfortable because of my size) – well then you’re not getting to live your life as freely and happily as you should be able to. And by no means am I drawing comparison to the people who have a serious illnesses or disability that isn’t allowing them to live their lives as freely and happily as they should be able to. So, please don’t think for a minute that I am. This is different. This is not that and I don’t for a second pretend that the two even belong in the same column.
But like I said up top, two of my favorite things I’ve ever done are: A) Doing a semester abroad in London and B) Getting a breast reduction. Both involved quite a bit of thought and work on my part. All of which paid off. Big time. And little time.
oh hey! i love my C’s. LOVE them. Got the reduction at 18 when i was an F. I’m 31 now and with all the baggage i’ve accumalted in the past 13 years i’m glad to not be lugging those around too
Since high school my breasts have been huge, I had back problems, nerve issues, and boys rarely knew me for, well me. I have had breast reduction in the back of my head since i was 17. now this past July, I finally decided to get it done. I’m 19 and elective surgery changed my entire life. I became healthier, more self confident, and i don’t have to hide my chest anymore. I recommend anyone who has ever consider it, to at least see a doctor, and get information about it. It changed my life, it’ll change yours too!
So awesome!!!
[...] at all won’t care. Whoever you are, you should absolutely read this article by Jill Kushner, Nice Reduction (Breast, Not Sauce). Having smaller breasts is the shit and I cannot wait until these bandages come off and these tubes [...]
Hey Miranda! Hmm, well since I’m not a dr (although, i could write a funny dr)
– I can only give you the non-medical advise. As far as my POV on elective surgery – for me, most often, if it’s definitely safe and done for the right reasons and so on, i am supportive. However, I will say, when it comes to implants (for me) it makes me nervous to put foreign objects in my body. So that one registers a bit different for me, for that reason. But if you really do exercise so much and eat well and yet your weight stays the same … it might be worth talking to your dr or a nutritionist, as often there are deficiencies that we can have or hormonal stuff or even food allergies going on. Thanks for writing! And reading!
As an A… [blah..] Do you still have the same POV of surgeries for implants? Or it’s a whole other story? I don’t have anything… I have a weird shaped bod. I have small arms, boobs, feet… but I have a slightly big tummy and thighs. (I’m slightly overweight according to my doctor) Is it just that I need to exercise? Whatever I do..exercise my butt off.. nothing changes! Even my weight never changes! It’s always been 146 for two years now.. It’s just that maybe I’m not fat, it’s just that my boobs are so small, it creates an illusion! So later on I’m thinking of going to a C or a high B.. nothing real big but something around there. Thoughts/advice?
When I was 14, I was informed by one of the girls working at La Senza that they did not carry anything in my size and advised to try a specialty shop. It was one of the most horrifying moments of my life, as no teenage girl wants to think of herself as abnormal, let alone hear it from peppy, size zero La Senza employee. I thought about a breast reduction off and on for all of my high school years, hiding behind baggy sweaters and some seriously bad hair. But then I finally got to university, and I finally changed my outlook. I’m not just a “good personality” girl, but I actually have a body that is not repulsive. I’m actually fairly thin and in pretty good shape. And on top of that, I have down right amazing rack. My breasts have seemed to finally stopped growing and I’m currently a 28G. I love my boobs. They don’t define me, but they are part of who I am. I would not give them up if someone handed me the money for the surgery. I completely respect anyone who does have a reduction and fully agree that it is your body and your health and therefore your decision to make. But for now, I’m just happy with being me, huge boobs and all.
Amazing!!! I love this!!!
This made me cry with excitement – I’m going in for a reduction in 26 days after waiting for 11 years. Thank you, thank you for the extra dose of comradery.
That’s so exciting!!! Have a great surgery!!! Do people say that??? I do!
I’m psyched for you!!! Sending you awesome Sept. 27th vibes (i think i did the math right on that that one) and for all the days after, too! 
Thank you for sharing it with us! I’m 18 and have a D-cup since last summer. I remember spending one night crying because my breasts were growing again, things like “can’t they stop?” were running on my head. I really felt bad. I felt like they were so big that people wouldn’t look at me… Actually they weren’t. I’m not a tall girl, and I’ve curves and breasts, so most people said that I was kinda sexy. I hated it… But it changed two months ago.
I was studying pretty hard to my exams, so I started to loss weight… It didn’t change my D-cup, but I felt healthier. At the graduation part I was talking with one friend (the boy that I kind of consider my first crush) told me that he always thought of me as a pretty little sister -even having my same age…- and that I looked gorgeous. It kinda made me feel gorgeous! After that, one of my best friends asked me to go to a discotheque with him. He is gay, and wanted me to go to a gay discotheque with him… It wasn’t a problem since I’m bi and all those things. There I met near of 11 boys -10 gays and 1 straight- and started to talk about my chest with them. The said they loved it; that it was quite perfect. The told me that if I gave it more attention than I should, people would do it too. I followed their words, it was true.
Now I don’t have problems with my chest; still don’t like it, but I don’t hate it. I feel so proud, I feel pretty and cute; somewhat sexy, too. I feel gorgeous! and knowing all the way I’ve had until being here, all my friends are proud of me.
I know I just wrote my life away, but I felt like doing it…
-Don’t forget to be happy.
This was so lovely! Thank your for sharing it here! And that’s so awesome that you feel proud and good – you absolutely should, girl!
I was an FF at 5 ft. 3. I had a breast reduction 1999 and went down to a C cup. I am back up to a D, but it is ok. My favorite part was that food if it fell out of my mouth landed on my lap and not onto my boobs! Great post!
Ha!!! Love the noticing of food landing somewhere different!!! Thanks for reading and commenting!
I am a damned double D, too, and I often think about reducing them (I hear men crying somewhere…), but I have to say that I probably will never have the courage to do it. At least not now, I think I’m too young (23) and I haven’t tried the dieting route yet…
Also, I’m afraid that in my case is solely a matter of esthetics; and I used to have the opposite complex when a teenager: I had no breast (I swear: at 16 I was merely a B, and became a D only by my 19th birthday), and maybe that’s why I grew “affectionate” to my D, even if it prevents me from wearing sexy strapless dresses and bounds me to buy only “gigantic-ironclad-oh-god-why-do-they-come-only-in-the-colour-of-my-granma’s-stockings” bras. Sigh.
If you’re “affectionate” and they’re not really bothering you or terribly uncomfortable for you etc etc – then respect! I’m on your side either way, girl!
I had a reduction when I was 25, I was a C when I was eleven and an F (at least) by the time I had the surgery. Having that surgery was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am so glad that you took the time to share this! I also flashed my fair share of people afterward!
Thanks! We’re like the BFFs of reductions!
9 years ago I had a reduction. I was an EE cup at 21.. I had been that since i was 16 years old.. My training bra at 11 was one of my moms C cup bras.. Not only was I an object of…. interest for both boys in my grade, but highschool and university guys who didn’t realize I was a 12 year old with a mature womans figure.. But I couldn’t stand straight either. I was standing at 5ft2″.. Post reduction, i was 5ft4 3/4″ (every part of an inch counts after all that pain.. believe me. ) I can wear tank tops with built ins now, i can stand on my feet for 8 hours straight if i have to and not cry for muscle relaxers at the end of the day for my poor back.. I have more confidence.. Due to my family having to help with my bandages, absolutely no modesty about my breasts anymore (… oops? ) But I feel good. And kudos to you for being so open and sharing with us. Sometimes mother nature just blesses us with a bit more then we need up top.. I am now a high end c cup or a d, and i don’t miss what i had.
Thank YOU for sharing, too!!!
I’m 15 and I’m a D. It blows big time.
I hear ya! Been there!!!
this was so amazing to read! ive been really thinking about getting this done. im barely 5’5″ and pretty “curvaceous” but im a 36GG and i absolutely hate it. i have to go to special store to buy my bras and im only 17. its horrible. i have trouble losing weight though. but i know even if i loose the weight im not maically gonna go down 4 bra sizes. its horrible. at school im refered to as “the girl with big juggs.”(i didnt even know people still said juggs.) im really uncomforatble all the time, and i have severe back pain. i really want a brest reduction but im really quite scared to be honest. ive never had an operation before. do you have any advice? plus i dont think my parents would be really excited about it.
Hey Rachel! So advice, sure! But obviously, it’s hellogiggles friend to hellogiggles friend advice and not medical advice. Because even though I’m a Hypochondriac, I’m not a doctor
So … I had never had an operation before and am quite afraid of all things medical-ish. Even just needles! It was pretty wild, though, with this – I wasn’t. I was so excited to have it done that that took over. As far as your parents possibly not be excited about it … they might surprise you. Especially if you ask them or one of them if they’ll go with you just to a consultation with a surgeon. Having an informed conversation with a doctor (and you) might be a good move. The surgeon will always address the weight part and what he/she thinks about that, too. I had mine a long time ago and I can only imagine that the surgery has gotten even better than it was then. And as far as being called “the girl with big juggs”, you’re right – who knew people still said that! 
And I find, most times, it’s better to be noticed than not noticed at all. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to share your situation. I really appreciate it and wish you lots of luck with your parents and everything!!!
Amazing article. I’m 27 and have been thinking about breast reduction surgery since like, oh…1996?
THANK YOU SO MUCH for saying that!!! I’m so glad you thought my article to be amazing and I really hope I was able to give you some firsthand insight!
I got a breast reduction 3 summers ago from a G down to a C. I have never regretted it! It was the best decision I ever made, and bonus… insurance covered it. No more chiropractors, daily headaches, bras from Lane Bryant, swim suit tops from the old lady section, or having to wear baggy tshirts for the then-19 year old. Like you– it improved my self confidence, and how my body felt dramatically. I also had a Grey’s Anatomy connection… when I was scooting from the rolling bed on to the operating table (fairly out of it due to the anesthetic they put in my IV), I remember looking up at the light and thinking, “This is JUST like Grey’s Anatomy.”
HA! I love that you thought of GREY’S in a partial anesthetic haze! I love that you totally relate to the “best decision” thing!
I have 40DD’s, although I already know it is because of weight gain – I was a 36C before gaining a ton of weight in college. I didn’t mind D’s so much but the DD’s are stressing me out a little. I think the most annoying thing is having to wear full coverage bras that no non-t-shirt/sweater can cover. I don’t think I need a breast reduction – working on losing weight and down 9lbs already – but I wouldn’t mind going back to the 36C’s I used to have. That was a good size for me.
9 lbs! That’s awesome! Yeah, I hear you. There’s definitely a difference btwn DD and D.
I’m a 30 H and proud of it!
The only time that I would ever consider a breast reduction would be after having children, as my boobs are most likely going to balloon when I’m pregnant. Shame you don’t live in the UK. We have this wonderful company called Bravissimo (www.bravissimo.com), who start their bras at a DD – you would be considered fairly small there! – and go right up to a L cup. They also make clothes that are especially cut to fit your boobs, so that you feel less self-concious and can embrace your shape! (www.bravissimo.com/pepperberry) xxx
That sounds awesome and you sound super happy! You should totally be proud of what you’ve got (or don’t have)! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! Much appreicated!!
I’m an F and I’ve been wanting to do that since… ever? Your article totally assured me that there was nothing wrong with it. Thanks honey bunches of oats!
You are SO welcome!!!! I’m SO glad!!!
I had my boobs done when I was 19, however I went up, not down…. but more importantly I used to ask my mom how man Urkel’s(Family Matters) it would be until we got somewhere/did anything.
OMG, how many Urkel’s it would be!!!! LOVE!!!