New York Times Combined Print & E-Book Fiction & Non-Fiction Besteller List, April 13 2013

April 13, 2013.

1. Fifty Shades of Sin, by E. L. James.

The Christian Grey series comes to a stunning close with its seventh and final book, as Ana defeats the Lord Voldemort. Sin combines James’ stunning prose with even more of the BDSM charm that readers across the globe clamor to read. By combining the book’s violent twists and turns, Ana manages to conquer the “sins” that Grey has laid out for her while making sure their children attend Seattle’s best private school. Comes with three whips, as well as DVD package for safe sex and proper toy washing. Primetime books, $39.99.

2. You’re Just Not That Well-Rounded, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

Authors of the best-selling He’s Just Not That Into You  have taken their original premise – teaching women that men are not attracted to them due to a series of rules like length of phone call return and diamond rings – and have applied it to college application process. Interviews from top admissions staff at Harvard, Yale and Dartmouth make the book a primer for anyone applying to an Ivy League school, and potentially a tier two one. Sage advice for any high-schooler and his or her parents. Includes key tips like essay writing and phone numbers for best-selling writers to write said essays. Tips include “If They Don’t Call You And You’re Wait-Listed, You’re Not Getting In Until You Donate a Building”. Random House, $17.95.

3. Jersey Girl Interrupted, by Snooki. 

Best-selling author Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi returns with a darker follow-up to her original novel. While her original work, A Shore Thing, focused on the comparison of a young Snooki to Anna Karenina and the use of iambic pentameter, her sophomore novel takes a turn for the morose. There is a murder at Seaside and the protagonist and her group of housemates must find the killer before all of the alcohol runs out. Comes with three whips, as well as a DVD package and tanning oil. MTV Books, $15.95.

4. Knowing Your (Semi) Colon, by Doctor Mehmet Oz & Dave Shore.

In Dr. Oz’s fifth book, the renowned and beloved doctor teams up with famed grammarian Dave Shore to combine bowel and colon health with proper punctuation. With at-home colon cleanses and the history of the semicolon, Oz and Shore combine two unlikely subjects to teach both proper digestion and how to write a sentence. Particularly stunning passages (of bile), include the origin of the suppository and the ellipsis. Oprah Publishing Group, $23.99. (Coupon with current issue of Oprah Magazine by Oprah featuring Oprah.)

5. Unbreaking the Broken, by Michelle Reamberg.

In this tale of self-discovery and coming of age, Michelle Reamberg sheds her suburban Chicago life for a remote desert village north of the Himalayas following a tumultuous divorce. Reamberg learns to survive by hunting and gathering, and discovers her previous life being married to a Jewish doctor had deep secrets that left her unbreakingly broken. Through an inventive prose that Reamberg dubs “rapid sentences with no punctuation,” the style transports the reader right to the desert beneath Reamberg’s feet. An inventive debut. Harper Collins, $17.95.

Art by Erini C.S.