Some days, I wish I were independently wealthy. Other days, I wish I had a pony and a jellyfish aquarium with state-of-the-art programmed rainbow lighting. But in the words of philosopher Taylor Swift, “I’m not a princess and this ain’t a fairy tale”, so who knows when my carefree lifestyle and miniature zoo dreams will come to fruition.
On the daily, however, I wish for my lips to look like glossy pillows of intrigue and majesty. I think I’ve finally granted that wish for myself, and I’ve got some awkward pictures to prove it.
I mean, I’d buy myself a drink. I know this because I did.
For $24, you can “score” (the quotations are necessary because “score” is really kind of open to interpretation here — now that my post-shopping stupor has faded and all I got was this dumb lipgloss, I’m realizing that $24 was kind of a lot) NARS Super Orgasm lipgloss.
According to NARS, this gooey concoction is “peachy pink with gold glitter”, which is a fair description. Here are some other things NARS promises, along with my two cents:
– Ultra-shiny and highly pigmented
Shiny, yes. “Highly” pigmented, no. Like, not even a little bit.
In case you’re wondering what “ultra-shiny” means, here’s Exhibit A. Case closed.
– Convenient wand application
Well, this much is true. It definitely beats applying it with my finger and then having everything I touch sparkle like a Windex commercial.
– An iconic shade
I like to think of myself as an icon for people who don’t know quite what they’re doing and I’m wearing it, so sure.
– Ideal alone or over other lip color
True! Ish. Here’s what it looks like atop a foundation of Revlon Blasé Apricot:
… So basically, it looks like Revlon Blasé Apricot, but shinier.
The thing I like most about this lipgloss is that it isn’t sticky, which sounds like a dig, but it’s an important quality in a lipgloss. Overall, I’d say it’s a fine choice if you’re sick of the matte trend and you want to shine like the star that you are.
(As an aside, I’m not wearing my contacts and my glasses are really reflective, so that’s why I’m all up in my camera’s business in these pictures — otherwise I can’t see what’s happening. You have to work with what you’ve got, and I’ve got astigmatism and a prescription that looks like an overdrawn bank account.)
Featured image via Make-Up and Beauty Blog.