If you’re a 20-something female, chance are good that you know someone who is getting married. Regardless of your stance on weddings, you probably agree that they can be a bit awkward—mixing friends, family and – for you – strangers—then uniting them under a disco-ball lighted dance floor.
Sometimes, picking music for grandparents, kids and adults is easy (think The Beatles, Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson). But more often than not, it’s an off-putting mix of Top 40 hits that tries to please 3 generations of people—possibly alienating them all.
This got me wondering: What kind of music will my future grandchildren play at their weddings to satisfy their drooling, arthritic, gout-contracting grandmother? By then, vocal chords will have been replaced with auto-tune, and something like Stratocaster Synth-Pop Post-Production Noise Rock (Skrillex?) will blast on childrens’ radios hovercrafts. Will people even sing anymore?
Here’s a playlist of some of the songs that I predict will become “The Golden Oldies” by 2051, the year I become a senior citizen. We will blast these songs in our nursing homes, listen to them in our hovercrafts, and demand them to be played at weddings we attend. Younger generations—get ready:
1. Sir Mix-A-Lot – ‘Baby Got Back’
I first heard this song in middle school, and immediately developed the innocent, unironical love for it that only people of my generation will appreciate. It harkens memories of awkward teens who slow-danced at arm’s length and giggled at the use of the word “butts” in a song. (By high school, we got much too used to songs about big butts and started to take them a bit too seriously).
2. Everything by the Black Eyed Peas, ever
This is a band we loved to hate, but we only hated them as much as we loved them. That is, until Miley Cyrus came along, and changed the love-hate dynamic forever.
3. Sisqo – ‘Thong Song’
This is one of those butt-songs we took too seriously. My future grandkids are probably going to play this song because they think it’s funny. And then they’ll ask good ol’ grandma for a hundred bucks, and I’ll concede, because at that moment I’ll realize that all the problems with their generation stemmed from my generation’s love for the Thong Song.
4. ODB – ‘Baby I Got Your Money’
This is really gonna freak out my grandkids. They’re just gonna look at me like, “Ew, Grandma.” Well, good.
5. Cali Swag District – ‘Teach Me How To Dougie’
This song is truly the “Electric Slide” of my generation. Mark my words–in 40 years, everyone will be doing the Dougie.
Senior Citizens image via Shutterstock