My Disney Top Five

Before we had Edward vs. Jacob, or Bieber Fever, or the abdominal spectacle that is Ryan Gosling, figuring out which guy to worship was a very simple affair. Every year of childhood, a new Disney movie was presented to us. And every year, a new crush on a new cartoon prince was born. Some of the hottest guys I can think of to this day were created by middle aged men in dark, smelly animation chambers. Some of these hot guys aren’t even human. And, sure, Disney continues to pump out movies year after year, but now that I’m (technically, reluctantly) an adult, it’s much more socially acceptable to ooh and ahh over actual, living, breathing, male specimens. But where’s the fun in that? For your lusty, nostalgic enjoyment, here’s my vote for the Top Five Hottest Disney Cartoon Heroes of all time.

5. Peter Pan

Peter Pan does not get enough credit for being the original, hard-to-get, elusive, Mr.-Big-stole-his-moves bad boy. I mean, let’s face it, this guy invented the Peter Pan Complex. Sure, he thinks Wendy’s a babe, but that’s not going to stop him from stringing Tinkerbell along because he likes the attention, laughing at Wendy when the even-hotter mermaids are teasing her, and risking everything to save yet another sexy mama named Tiger Lily. Wendy foolishly thinks she can tame him, pressuring him to let her parents adopt him back in London, but this Lost Boy will never be domesticated. He ranks #5 on my list because he’ll only break your heart, but who can resist that impish, adventurous spirit and the thrill of the chase?

4. Adult Simba

Adult Simba has that sexy I’ve-Got-a-Complicated-Past vibe, and don’t think Nala didn’t notice. Half of her crooning in “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” is related to wondering why he’s being secretive and what exactly he’s been doing all these missing years. And she’s totally into him regardless. There’s also, of course, a sadness to Adult Simba, which makes him more sensitive than the average cartoon prince. When he discovers the truth about his father’s death, that sadness transforms into red-hot passionate anger: also quite attractive, in the right context. The reason Adult Simba is only #4 is that he really could have returned home a lot earlier. He let his pity party go on a wee bit too long. Side note: the moment in the Broadway musical version when Young Simba swings off stage and swings back in as Adult Simba is, to date, the hottest moment in musical theater history.

3. Prince Eric

Oh, Eric. Dangerously human-like in appearance and as a result, necessarily setting up hundreds of thousands of elementary school girls for years of disappointment in the I-want-a-perfect-boyfriend department. Prince Eric is a bonafide hottie, arguably the most traditionally handsome Disney prince of all time. He’s also pretty cool, as far as stuck-up princes go. He doesn’t want to be told by his handlers who to marry. He’s certain that the perfect girl is out there; it’s just a matter of finding her (insert swoon emoticon here). He’s also incredibly sweet to the strange, mute, homeless girl he finds on the beach. Granted, she’s drop-dead gorgeous and can’t talk back, but still. My only complaint about Eric is that he doesn’t make a move on Ariel sooner. Sure, Flotsam and Jetsom cause some trouble when they’re out on the boat, but does that really mean he couldn’t have snagged a kiss on the walk home? Man up, Eric!

2. Young Simba

Young Simba is pretty much the whole package. He’s adorable, scrappy, fun-loving, and brave. But, more important, he actually likes and respects girls. His best friend is Nala, a female lion cub. He skipped right past the whole female-lion-cubs-have-cooties stage of life. Talk about mature! He also experiences great tragedy, perfect if you’re the type who wants a man you can really take care of. And let us not forget that Jonathan Taylor Thomas, pre-pubescent heartthrob of our universal preteen dreams, was the voice behind this cute little guy. Adorably enough, Young Simba even looks like JTT (possibly the source of my confusing yet unrelenting fascination with Furries). But seriously, guys, check out a side-by-side comparison:

My eight year old self is blushing majorly right now.

1. Aladdin

While it was a fairly close contest with Young Simba, Aladdin takes the (stolen) cake as #1 on my list. Charmingly voiced by DJ Tanner’s hot boyfriend Steve, this wannabe-prince is unbelievably attractive. He has more than a drop of the bad boy – he is a street urchin after all – but he’s kind and generous too. Remember when he gives his last piece of stolen bread to a hungry street child? And how he keeps his promise to the genie by granting him freedom with his third and final wish? I don’t even care that he lies to Jasmine about his identity throughout the movie. The boy has game, and that game is called a freaking MAGIC CARPET! Until someone takes me on a flying carpet ride over a starlit Arabian city, I won’t be able to say that I’ve experienced true romance.

Sure, there are other Disney studs I could have included. If you’re into self-aggrandizing Fabio types, you probably favor John Smith from Pocahontas. Musclebound meatheads who could use a haircut? Check out Beast, post-transformation. Every Disney hero is sexy in his own special, somewhat lifeless kind of way. Only you can know which Disney cartoon prince is right for you. So, spill: who would make your top five?

 

Images via fanpop.com, dannymiller.typepad.com, lionking.org, tumblr.com, kron-famousanimatedvoices.buzznet.com, nader824.wordpress.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/emilyanne Emily Wagman

    what about Robin Hood??
    he was a total fox…(yeah, I went there)

    • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.alirkan Stephanie Alirkan

      Oh man. I pretty much agree with your list entirely, other than Prince Eric. I mean, he’s conventionally attractive but he didn’t seem all that fun. Thank you for making this. It’s great. Peter Pan and Eric switching spots and that’s my list.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kristen.dupre Kristen Dupré

      I completely agree, Robin Hood would be my #1!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=628768548 Maurianna Zingarelli

      Prince Cornelius from Thumbelina all the wayyyy. If only he were Disney. He’s Aladdin but with an actual title (flying song and all).

  • http://www.facebook.com/nancepooh Nancy Garrett

    i’m with emily! always loved the foxy robin hood

  • http://www.facebook.com/murmeltearding Kati Ber

    I totally loved aladdin too! 😀
    And Simba…. and Peter Pan when I saw him in Disneyland last year 😀 Oh my that guy definitely knows how to move! 😀

  • http://www.facebook.com/apelsor Audrey Pelsor

    Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty was always my favorite. I have to give a shout out to Demetri in Anastasia too, even though the film wasn’t Disney.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736659011 Tisha Varona

    Um definitely Captain Sang from Mulan. <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=663698080 Emily Renner

    Totally agree about Aladdin! I mean, the guy never wears a shirt…what’s a girl to do!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/yeehaw.buckaroo Jennie Stone Edenfield

    Prince Phillip barely says a word unless he’s singing, and when Maleficent turns into a dragon he doesn’t even break s a sweat. That’s my dude.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1223701659 Zoë LeDuc

    flynn from tangled is hands down the hottest hottie in any animated movie

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=65800494 Meredith Bagdazian

    Prince Phillip has had my heart from the first strains of “I know you….”

  • http://www.facebook.com/beth.herrin1 Beth Herrin Cole

    I agree about Flynn/Eugene!! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1426322883 Tracy Wagner

    MJ kinda ruined Peter Pan for me. Agree with the rest!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ohheytay Taylor Pierce

    Prince Eric will always have my heart.

  • http://www.facebook.com/shealagh Shealagh Whittle

    I am SO happy someone shares my love of the young/older Simba. I always thought it was slightly creepy, but both Simbas have human features! But, Aladdin will always be #1 because I also had a crush on DJ Tanner’s boyfriend at around the same time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1169280960 Brittany Anne

    Aladdin IS a gorgeous disney god. 😉

  • http://www.facebook.com/kellycrafton Kelly Crafton

    Two reasons why Flynn Rider should have been on this list: He’s hot(not to mention funny) and Zachary Levi is the voice behind him (and he is also hot). He’s definitely my favorite Disney guy now! Who can resist that smolder?! Sigh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bryanna.shaw Bryanna Shaw

    Jon smith is my #1 Disney lover boy

  • http://www.facebook.com/shannon.patrick10 Shannon Patrick

    Aladdin has always been my favorite! Flynn Rider from “Tangled” is newly second place. And coming in 3rd (though technically a Fox animated movie, not Disney) would be Dimitri from “Anastasia”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1782083629 Jessica Hollis

    Oh my it is all about Shang! He is clever, overcome his sexism and is just plain damn fine :’) Perhaps my childhood infatuation is why I only date Asians now….

  • http://www.facebook.com/minervajenkins Medali Castro

    No Prince Phillip? He fought a dragon! He is cute, witty and charming! And let’s not forget the only *prince* that actually fought and rescued his girl!
    ****Aladdin wasn’t actually a prince until he married Jazmin and grew up without pampering and had to fight against life everyday, and Beast had a slight strength advantage so I can’t count them****

  • http://www.facebook.com/minervajenkins Medali Castro

    as princes… stupid brain finishing sentences before my hands do

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