Hanuka gifts can be tough to pick out. It’s not really the Jewish Christmas, as Hallmark would have you believe. It’s more of a small holiday, one of the newest (comparatively), and the whole presents thing has been blown out of proportion because apparently making Hanuka more like Christmas is the politically correct solution to acknowledging diversity. So what do you get for your friends and loved ones?
Have no fear! For I have compiled a list of possible gifts that will save your tuchus this year. If you have better ideas – and who am I, I just write this column – write in the comments section below.
Pretty basic and universal, and who doesn’t love magnetic poetry? You can get one at the Jewish Museum
It’s blue and white, which is hanuka themed enough for me. You can put kosher cookies in it or something. Do you really need a reason to get a tardis cookie jar? They’re at ThinkGeek
Give these lovely menorah pants to the person of your choosing on the last day of Hanuka. That way they will not only have to wear it at least once so as to spare your feelings, but they’ll have to do it when the holiday is over. Better yet, give them two, and when they wear one, ask them why they don’t like the other. Pants are sold HERE
If you love feeding into stereotypes, enjoy a money clip with a Yiddish proverb on it. This is great for old men and hipsters who like to dress like old men. Get it HERE
I’m sure it’s kosher. Get it HERE
This is the best gift ever. In fact, if the person you want to get it for doesn’t have a small dog (or a cat, or even a large dog, or just an oversize gerbil), you should get them one and show up with it dressed in this getup. Anyone who gets this as a gift has to send me photos. Please? Available HERE
A great children’s book. I’m assuming it’s about a pig who is quite enthusiastic about assisted suicide.
The comic book industry, with Superman at the helm, pretty much came out of Jewish culture. This book is an amazing telling of that story. I highly highly recommend it and anyone you get it for will think you’re really cool because you know about comics (or pretend to really well). Get it HERE
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