To make this week’s Misogynist Soup, you will need the following ingredients. If you don’t have them on hand, you can probably find them at Target. You can find everything at Target.
- A skirt or dress.
- A kidnapper. (Check the kitchen appliances aisle — I know it seems counter-intuitive, but just trust me. Everyone needs a good toaster.)
- Beyonce (An album or poster will do.)
The Badminton World Federation has ordered a breezy change in uniform for women — instead of showing up to play in shorts or pants, female players will now be required to wear skirts or dresses. Officials say that “the dress code would make female players appear more feminine and appealing to fans and corporate sponsors.”
Photo source: Badminton Doubles.
“I mean, she’s a good player and all, but we have to focus on what’s important here: Is she sexy?”
American deputy president of the Federation Paisan Rangsikitpho seems to think they’re actually doing women a favor, since “hardly anybody is watching” them play. Despite the fact that some players say skirts negatively impact their movement on the court, he just wants them to “look nicer on the court and have more marketing value for themselves.”
First of all, can somebody hook our guardian angel Rangsikitpho up with a thank-you card? I think I found just the one. Furthermore, I personally think this is a slap in the face. Just last month, I suggested that male badminton players should wear masks of Pretty Woman-era Richard Gere to look nicer on the court and increase their marketing value, but it would appear my request fell on deaf ears. We get it, world: Nobody cares about us silly women unless men think we’re cute.
Some countries have traditions like drinking (source: every major holiday in the United States, birthdays, brunch, lunch, dinner, college, stress, break-ups, that bottle of Jameson isn’t going to finish itself, etc.), or determining intellectual compatibility with someone by stalking their Facebook profile.
In countries like Kyrgyzstan, bride kidnapping is all the rage. Though illegal, an estimated 68 to 75 percent of marriages are the result of bride kidnapping.
Photo source: Lonely Planet.
What the hell is going on over there, Krygyzstan?
If caught and tried, which kidnappers rarely are, most will be served justice by… wait for it… walking away. I mean, after paying a “small fine,” of course. In accordance with tradition, when a young Kyrgyz bachelor decides he’s ready to tie the knot, he scopes out the scene and then starts plotting the kidnapping. Then he and his buddies snatch her from the streets and pressure her to consent to marriage with intimidation tactics like persuasion and violence. If that isn’t gloomy foreshadowing, I don’t know what is. After marriage, many of these women say they are “kicked, strangled, beaten, stabbed, and sexually assaulted by their husbands.”
Here’s what I want to know: Who kidnapped the men of Kyrgyzstan’s sanity? Can you be a pal and, oh, I don’t know, maybe GIVE IT BACK? If you’re out there, text me your coordinates so we can meet up at a well-lit drop-off point. This should not be the norm anywhere for anyone. And for people who turn a blind eye and say sadly, “That’s just the way it is,” this isn’t “just the way it is.” The fact that everyone expects my grandfather to fall asleep at the dinner table is “just the way it is.” This? This is inhumane.
A few weeks ago, the bold and beautiful Beyonce released the music video for Run the World (Girls).
Photo source: Billboard.
Because “girls make 78 cents to every dollar boys make” isn’t as fun to dance to.
Beyonce, I know you’re a busy lady, but do you have a news app on your smartphone? I know you’re trying to be a positive role model and all. I know it’s not fun to focus on the negative and bring light to the truth. I know it feels better to pretend we live in the future (I’m seriously stoked out of my mind for my robot BFF, by the way). But girls don’t run the world, Beyonce. Take a look around. A lot of us are running from it. Please don’t brush things under the rug for a catchy chorus. If you’re going to address girls, they deserve to know how much of the world actually views and treats them and what they can do to change that.
Combine all ingredients and bring them to a boil, much like my blood pressure is at the moment. You’ll know it’s done when it tastes like misogyny with a hint of “please tell me this isn’t real life.” Enjoy!
Featured Image by Cézanne.