Hot Topic (Not the Store) ‘MIDNIGHT': WORST. NEW. YEAR'S. EVES. EVER. Jackie Johnson

Me last year on New Year's. I was thrilled.

Who are we kidding? The only topic on all of our brains this time of year is NEW YEAR’S EVE. So for my hot topic this time around, I went with “Midnight”.

Ugh. New Year’s Eve is usually so bad for me. I know a lot of people love it and treasure it as a holiday, but I just seem to have the worst luck and anxiety for that particular evening. I’m gonna share a few mini stories of my lame new year’s evenings.

HEY HEY, YOU YOU, I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND - In high school, I was in love with this dude that didn’t even like me back. He had a girlfriend who hated me and I don’t blame her. I was pathetic. I went to this new year’s party filled with people I didn’t know very well only cause I knew he was gonna be there, and I was told his GF was out of town, so I knew I could stomach it. I get there and he’s all flirty and friendly with me. I, of course, love it. Then, like, around 11:30pm his girlfriend ROLLS UP SURPRISING HIM. She instantly starts hanging all over him, sends me the dagger eyes and he starts ignoring me. My Avril Lavigne angst-filled high school heart could not handle this. Cause, girl, I knew that he belonged with me, not her! I abruptly and dramatically left and dragged my bestie with me. We got back to my house and turned on Sex and The City reruns and I told her “When midnight hits I don’t even wanna ACKNOWLEDGE it. This is just another stupid day to me.” So the clock hit 12 and we just sat there in silence. So dramatic.

I WANT TO BE A PART OF IT, NEW YORK, NEW YORK – In college my sister and I went to New York City to ring in the new year with my cousins who lived there. We were SO EXCITED to be in Times Square when the famous ball drops, to be partying and cheering when all that confetti comes down. Ricky Martin was probably gonna be there. Champagne was gonna be flowing and music blaring and we were gonna be IN IT ALL. What an iconic place to say we’ve been for NYE. Well, what they don’t tell you is that in order to get anywhere within a 5 mile radius of that big ol’ dropping ball you have to have been standing there for like 5 days prior. People just stand there for days to get the prime real estate. How do they go to the bathroom? Who knows!? But we couldn’t get anywhere near the joint. Frustrated, disappointed and cold as heck (Texans in New York in Dec/Jan did NOT expect the cold so we were not dressed to deal, ew), we just went back over to Staten Island, where my cousins lived, where we watched the ball drop on a crappy TV in some dive bar. We were the only people in there besides the old man bartender. So not dramatic.

I’M LEAVING ON A JETPLANE – A couple years ago, before I went to bed at 10 every night in sweat pants, I fancied myself pretty impulsive. I flew to London on a whim to see some old friends for New Year’s. My friend graciously bought me my ticket using her travel miles. The only date that would work with her miles was on New Year’s Eve. Since many of my Jan 31st-Dec 1st nights have been Lamey McLametown ,I didn’t have a problem with this. I thought maybe I’d meet the love of my life in the seat next to me.

And, of course, I was WRONG. 1. I had never been out of the country before, so because I’m a worry wart I was having all this anxiety about getting to customs and them not letting me into the country cause I awkwardly answered a question or said something as a joke that they didn’t think was funny. I’ve never seen that Claire Danes movie Brokedown Palace but I was imagining that whatever happens to her in that was gonna happen to ME. 2. To add to my anxiety, the turbulence on this flight was MAD BAD. Have you seen the LOST pilot? Where the plain crashes? I swear it was that bad. If I hadn’t had my seatbelt fastened I would’ve smacked the ceiling and fallen to the ground (like some guy in the LOST pilot). So I was convincing myself I was gonna die for 9 hours on top of thinking I was gonna go to foreign prison if I did survive the flight. 3. I got the world’s worst seat on a plane, EVER. This plane had a row of 5 seats in the middle and I was in seat 2/5.

On one side of me was a very rude and very overweight woman. She couldn’t fit in her seat, so she unapologetically raised the seat rest between us so her body had more room to spread out. This then caused her body to take up half of my seat. Now, if this woman would’ve just looked at me and been like “I’m so sorry” with a sweet look on her face, I would’ve been fine. Girl, we all got our own looks. But she was SO rude about it. She kept like shifting herself and looking at me like it was MY fault. Then she was so mean to her husband (skinny) and the flight attendants, demanding they change her meal, get her things, etc. However, because she was taking up half my seat, I ended up invading the personal space of the guy next to me, who didn’t end up being my husband but he was really nice and we’re still Facebook friends to this day. What up, Michael!? Anyway, I watched the clock tick to Midnight. I said “Happy New Year” to myself since Michael was miraculously asleep through the earthquake in the sky, and my other neighbor and I were close enough already that “Happy New Year” went without saying.

KEEP ON DANCING TIL THE WORLD ENDS: This year, I’m already having anxiety about NYE ’cause the hair extension I ordered from Japan to complete my evening’s look isn’t going to arrive on time and my throat hurts. So I’m trying to stay positive but I might end up sick as a dog sipping tea in bed in my trusty sweat pants while y’all all party like it’s 1999. But you know what I’ve realized? WHAT. EVER. New Year’s Eve is just another midnight. Yes, you go from one year to the next instantly and that’s kinda cool, but the way you spend that one minute does not effect or curse your entire upcoming year.  I’ve had a really fun, cool, crazy life full of laughs, friends, and love, even when my yearly transition was not so stellar.

So ladies if had nowhere to go last night or you didn’t have a kiss lined up when the ball dropped or your Japanese hair extension got lost in the mail so you couldn’t rock it when it hit 2012: who cares?! Have a rockin’ year and let midnights roll around on the 31st without stressing it. Love to all and Happy New Year, my gurls!

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  1. Man.. I just want to give you a big hug. So sorry – I think you’re too alone too often.. try going with a group, including getting ready, all of it.. maybe.. :-\

  2. Last year my boyfriend and I were searching the TV for the Chicago channel to see their New Years thing and we totally missed it and all they had on were fireworks. This year I was drunk and got distracted by a Disney World commercial and we missed the ball drop because I was asking questions as he’s been there and I haven’t. We noticed 5 minutes after midnight. Priceless.

  3. While I generally don’t celebrate NYE with any sort of vigour, this year was particularly bad, as I spent it in the hospital. I had been admitted after they found a 1 cm gallstone lodged in my bile duct. Not only did I not celebrate, but the holiday season meant I had to wait a few extra days before I could get the procedure done to have the stone removed.

  4. Well, I was in London on a study abroad trip on New Year’s a few years ago, so I decided to watch the fireworks with some other people on the trip. Well, that was a let-down. We didn’t know where they shot off the fireworks, so we stood behind the Houses of Parliament where we couldn’t see a thing. Luckily there was a Jumbotron displaying the whole thing. The fireworks were fun (plus watching the police officers yell at the drunk people who kept climbing the statue of Winston Churchill) but after that sucked. They close all the Tube stations for miles around to get the people away from one area/reduce the congestion. Well, in theory I guess it works but in practice… not so much. We got stuck in a crowd of people that didn’t move for 30 minutes…literally. I thought I was going to be crushed to death and pretty much had a panic attack. Then we walked forever to find a tube station and we kept asking police officers where the closest open station was and they had no idea. We got kind of lost and confused since we had just gotten there the day before. I loved London so much, but I would rather be on airplane next to an obsese lady than be stuck in that crowd again.

  5. out of all of this I can somehow relate, all of my boring NYE ring in’s, brought a pretty amazing year, but last year I had a hard core rock out and a shit year

  6. “we just went back over to Staten Island, where my cousins lived, where we watched the ball drop on a crappy TV in some dive bar.”
    As a born & bred New Yorker, I felt your pain as I read this. Staten Island, THE saddest place to be @ any time. I am hopeful your NYE was better this year!

  7. I love holidays. I work 2 jobs and go to college, so I really look forward to nights like last night. And being superstitious, I seem to believe that if my night doesn’t go well, my year will follow suit. I hope that isn’t the case because even though I had a fun night, it ended when I walked out to my car to find my passenger window busted in and my radar detector and ipod stolen. And to top it off, my insurance won’t cover either. Lovely way to start the year. Seriously hoping it gets better.

  8. This NYE I was sick as all hell, asleep on my parent’s couch with a fever and having taken two doses of NyQuil. I watched Jaws at 7 pm, passed out, woke up to my mother telling me Happy New Year’s as the ball dropped in New York, and then snuggled up with my dog and went to bed. Came back to my house this morning and at the very least was glad to not have a hangover. Sad to say this was not even my worst NYE. Here’s to 2012 being way better for us all!

  9. HAHAHAHAHA! I love all these stories! Glad I’m not the only one who thinks New Years Eve is overrated!!! Love it ladies. Happy New year to us!

  10. My birthday is NYE, too, and next year I plan on staying home. I’ll be 23 and all I could think last night was “Just like every other year, this is kind of a let down… and (semi-jokingly) I’m gettin to old for this stuff.” Haha I dunno. I’ve learned not to have high expectations about my birthday/NYE, and as depressing as that is, it helps! So here’s to 2012 and next NYE and keeping our expectations in check. WOW, I’m depressing. Hahah keep dreaming, kids!

  11. New Year’s eve makes me feel bad because I have different groups of friends who aren’t friends with one another, so I’m forced to choose sides, which makes me feel bad! I should probably host, so everyone can come, but my apartment is so small, no one would fit, lol. But you’re right, it’s just another day, and it shouldn’t determine the rest of the year.

  12. I HAD A VERY SIMILAR AIRPLANE EXPERIENCE! I was sitting between two of the Klumps. They were together.. but decided to take the window and aisle seat and leave me in the middle…. The guy seemed very nice but the lady was mean as could be! And she was passing food to the guy literally 3 inches in front of my face.. not even pretending to go around me…. IT WAS AWFUL!!!

    My Birthday is also on NYE which actually makes me more in the party mood.. but no joke The older I’ve gotten the less I want to be in a crowded cold place

  13. I was really looking forward to NYE this year. I had the dress, the foods, everything picked out to go to a really classy party at a friend’s house. Then I had an allergic reaction to something and my lips were swollen all night. As sad as it sounds, I’m really really glad I didn’t have anyone to kiss at midnight! And I still had a great time.

  14. I buy into the whole “WE GOTTA HAVE PLANS FOR NYE”, I admit it, but in the last few years I’ve finally become less fervent about it – and once I did, plans just started to come together without much effort. So now my NYE’s are awesome, but I was so exhausted after last night that I think I need to go back to having no plans! Can’t win for losing with me, I guess.

  15. I’ve always been a strong believer in doing whatever on NYE & making the rest of the year dazzle with awesome.

  16. I have never had a great NYE so this year I just said screw it. I was watching TV at midnight and didn’t even realize until five minutes later that it was a New Year. I was all by myself and just said, OK, time for bed. 2011 sucked for me, but I plan on making 2012 better.

  17. See I think this is why I enjoy doing a whole lot of nothing for NYE, except about 20-30 minutes before the ball drops I turn on Ryan Seacrest/Dick Clark to watch the ball drop. Last night I put my kids to bed and sat in the quiet working on my resolutions at 11:55 I sat beside my husband and watched the ball drop. I had my midnight kiss and then continued my quiet evening. I have to say I can’t think of a better way to spend the evening. :)