Hot Topic (Not the Store)


Me last year on New Year's. I was thrilled.

Who are we kidding? The only topic on all of our brains this time of year is NEW YEAR’S EVE. So for my hot topic this time around, I went with “Midnight”.

Ugh. New Year’s Eve is usually so bad for me. I know a lot of people love it and treasure it as a holiday, but I just seem to have the worst luck and anxiety for that particular evening. I’m gonna share a few mini stories of my lame new year’s evenings.

HEY HEY, YOU YOU, I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND – In high school, I was in love with this dude that didn’t even like me back. He had a girlfriend who hated me and I don’t blame her. I was pathetic. I went to this new year’s party filled with people I didn’t know very well only cause I knew he was gonna be there, and I was told his GF was out of town, so I knew I could stomach it. I get there and he’s all flirty and friendly with me. I, of course, love it. Then, like, around 11:30pm his girlfriend ROLLS UP SURPRISING HIM. She instantly starts hanging all over him, sends me the dagger eyes and he starts ignoring me. My Avril Lavigne angst-filled high school heart could not handle this. Cause, girl, I knew that he belonged with me, not her! I abruptly and dramatically left and dragged my bestie with me. We got back to my house and turned on Sex and The City reruns and I told her “When midnight hits I don’t even wanna ACKNOWLEDGE it. This is just another stupid day to me.” So the clock hit 12 and we just sat there in silence. So dramatic.

I WANT TO BE A PART OF IT, NEW YORK, NEW YORK – In college my sister and I went to New York City to ring in the new year with my cousins who lived there. We were SO EXCITED to be in Times Square when the famous ball drops, to be partying and cheering when all that confetti comes down. Ricky Martin was probably gonna be there. Champagne was gonna be flowing and music blaring and we were gonna be IN IT ALL. What an iconic place to say we’ve been for NYE. Well, what they don’t tell you is that in order to get anywhere within a 5 mile radius of that big ol’ dropping ball you have to have been standing there for like 5 days prior. People just stand there for days to get the prime real estate. How do they go to the bathroom? Who knows!? But we couldn’t get anywhere near the joint. Frustrated, disappointed and cold as heck (Texans in New York in Dec/Jan did NOT expect the cold so we were not dressed to deal, ew), we just went back over to Staten Island, where my cousins lived, where we watched the ball drop on a crappy TV in some dive bar. We were the only people in there besides the old man bartender. So not dramatic.

I’M LEAVING ON A JETPLANE – A couple years ago, before I went to bed at 10 every night in sweat pants, I fancied myself pretty impulsive. I flew to London on a whim to see some old friends for New Year’s. My friend graciously bought me my ticket using her travel miles. The only date that would work with her miles was on New Year’s Eve. Since many of my Jan 31st-Dec 1st nights have been Lamey McLametown ,I didn’t have a problem with this. I thought maybe I’d meet the love of my life in the seat next to me.

And, of course, I was WRONG. 1. I had never been out of the country before, so because I’m a worry wart I was having all this anxiety about getting to customs and them not letting me into the country cause I awkwardly answered a question or said something as a joke that they didn’t think was funny. I’ve never seen that Claire Danes movie Brokedown Palace but I was imagining that whatever happens to her in that was gonna happen to ME. 2. To add to my anxiety, the turbulence on this flight was MAD BAD. Have you seen the LOST pilot? Where the plain crashes? I swear it was that bad. If I hadn’t had my seatbelt fastened I would’ve smacked the ceiling and fallen to the ground (like some guy in the LOST pilot). So I was convincing myself I was gonna die for 9 hours on top of thinking I was gonna go to foreign prison if I did survive the flight. 3. I got the world’s worst seat on a plane, EVER. This plane had a row of 5 seats in the middle and I was in seat 2/5.

On one side of me was a very rude and very overweight woman. She couldn’t fit in her seat, so she unapologetically raised the seat rest between us so her body had more room to spread out. This then caused her body to take up half of my seat. Now, if this woman would’ve just looked at me and been like “I’m so sorry” with a sweet look on her face, I would’ve been fine. Girl, we all got our own looks. But she was SO rude about it. She kept like shifting herself and looking at me like it was MY fault. Then she was so mean to her husband (skinny) and the flight attendants, demanding they change her meal, get her things, etc. However, because she was taking up half my seat, I ended up invading the personal space of the guy next to me, who didn’t end up being my husband but he was really nice and we’re still Facebook friends to this day. What up, Michael!? Anyway, I watched the clock tick to Midnight. I said “Happy New Year” to myself since Michael was miraculously asleep through the earthquake in the sky, and my other neighbor and I were close enough already that “Happy New Year” went without saying.

KEEP ON DANCING TIL THE WORLD ENDS: This year, I’m already having anxiety about NYE ’cause the hair extension I ordered from Japan to complete my evening’s look isn’t going to arrive on time and my throat hurts. So I’m trying to stay positive but I might end up sick as a dog sipping tea in bed in my trusty sweat pants while y’all all party like it’s 1999. But you know what I’ve realized? WHAT. EVER. New Year’s Eve is just another midnight. Yes, you go from one year to the next instantly and that’s kinda cool, but the way you spend that one minute does not effect or curse your entire upcoming year.  I’ve had a really fun, cool, crazy life full of laughs, friends, and love, even when my yearly transition was not so stellar.

So ladies if had nowhere to go last night or you didn’t have a kiss lined up when the ball dropped or your Japanese hair extension got lost in the mail so you couldn’t rock it when it hit 2012: who cares?! Have a rockin’ year and let midnights roll around on the 31st without stressing it. Love to all and Happy New Year, my gurls!

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