Men Not to Date Maggie Jankuloska

Throughout our history of dating, we encounter more than enough types of gentlemen we would rather forget. They are stored in our minds as cautionary tales for friends and for ourselves, just in case we are ever close to repeating past mistakes. Here is a short list of the caliber of men to avoid. Feel free to add your own!

Mr. Unavailable: He comes in different forms. He may be Mr. Big from Sex and the City or that too-good-to-be-true guy from high school. Whatever the case, this creature is never around when needed. That is his specialty. He is prone to cancel dates, meetings and family dinners at the drop of a hat, no matter how important they may be to you. This gentleman cares for one person and one person only –  himself. You see yourself uprooting your life and habits in an effort to accommodate him, yet nothing is enough to bridge the gap between you two since he can’t/won’t make the effort. He is not accustomed to change, so don’t expect a red-carpet welcome and weekend trips. Trying to delve into a deep and meaningful conversation is the equivalent of pulling teeth. There are different forms of unavailability. He may be any of the following: a narcissist, a Mama’s boy, emotionally crippled or lusting for a former love. If he is this unavailable, don’t leave a message after the beep.

The Aggressor: He is a textbook bully. He is accustomed to getting everything his way through intimidation, no matter how subtle or blatant. Through the toxic powers of passive-aggressive mental game-play, he has a way to keep you under his control. He will never be the one to offer you praise or compliment you in a new dress. He is insanely jealous, has a list of people he resents and refuses to accept criticism. There is little room for negotiation or a debate with such a person. He might undermine your self-esteem and confidence, or blame you for his own problems in an effort to keep you from leaving. Whether through physical, emotional or mental abuse, The Aggressor will try to exploit you. If a relationship leaves you worried for your safety, LEAVE!

Mr. Too-Keen: I could never trust a guy who, within hours of meeting, declares his love, buys concert tickets six months away and makes too many references to me on social media. The antithesis of Mr. Unavailable, this guy will mimic your style, quote you on a regular basis and turn into your house cat. While having a guy be so forward isn’t always a bad thing, beware of the “Serial Nester.” This guy would be someone like Ted Mosby, who is often desperately looking for a partner in an effort to not fly solo. Mr. Too-Keen will have a rich history of girlfriends, use designer hand lotion and never be short on girl-talk conversation starters. This guy will lose himself in the comfort of a relationship and you will dump him using the “I’ve outgrown you” line.

Honorable mentions: Perpetual liars, guys with fake tans (a la Jersey Shore), guys that are hesitant to pay for both movie tickets, guys that mention exes on a first date, guys that decorate their walls with nudie posters, men who are rude to waiters, bad spellers (that’s just my own shallow thought), anyone who admires Chris Brown, men who wax their eyebrows, alcoholics, shop-lifters, pyromaniacs, xenophobes, religious fanatics, guys you meet in your therapist’s office, guys that follow every single thing their friends do, married men and men who don’t wear deodorant on a date.

Image via Shutterstock

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  1. Can I add an honorable mention for guys who drink soup out of the bowl? On a first date, no less.

  2. I’d like to see an article on men I should date though…

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    well, for me as a man, the thing is men and women are locked in as we see, interpret or act in the world, that causes difficulties in a relationship

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  5. men who think they’re still in high school when theyre 25

  6. I have encounter each type of “gentlemen” discussed, and that is why I am never dating..ever again.

  7. This article really does not sit well with me. Why must we avoid a man who is “reluctant to pay for both movie tickets”? Why must he submit to societal norms that are considered detrimental to the idea of female empowerment? Why should we? I don’t think a woman should judge a man, or anyone for that matter, on something so insignificant and superficial. And why should we avoid a man who waxes his brows? I, for one, appreciate a man who cares about how he looks. It’s an awful double standard, especially when you also advise us women to avoid men with bad hygiene. Why can’t men take care of their looks? It’s really the first article that I found so profoundly offensive that I had to leave a comment. And coming from what I thought was a progressive pro-female power community… Shame.

    • whether we like to admit it or not, we are vain and superficial when it comes to dating. This list was a list I based on my own experiences/opinion. A guy doesn’t have to necessarily pay for tickets but in my experience if he doesn’t at least offer, chances are he’ll end up eating your popcorn and drink your coke as well- well it happened on a date I was on.
      There is nothing wrong from demanding a BO free guy on a first date and although he may be lovely, I would be quick to judge a guy with womanly eyebrows. By the way, men judge women on such silly little notions on an everyday basis and so do girls. As we get older, we learn to look past them.

      Maggie Jankuloska | 12/05/2012 05:12 pm
  8. this is pretty obvious but men that don’t treat other women well. an ex (or current gf/wife he is cheating on), a friend, a sister, cousin, mother, boss, employee, etc. that’s usually a pretty good indicator of how he’s going to treat you.

  9. Wow, the Aggressor described my last two boyfriends to a T! Bad news bears. I’ve certainly learned from those mistakes and moved on.

  10. Oi! What’s wrong with tidy eyebrows?! But I agree, waxing is stupid. Threading all the way!

    • tidy eyebrows are fine- drag queen eyebrows on the otherhand…

      Maggie Jankuloska | 12/05/2012 05:12 pm