Meditation Conversation: How Meditation Goes For The Rest Of Us

Okay. I’m going to sit down and meditate because it really does help me manage my stress. Plus, it’s January. January is all about doing good-person things, like flossing, cleaning out the shower drain and meditating.

I have my cushion, my timer and my pretty-smelling candle. New year, new mantra. Bring on the inner peace.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum

Ha. That’s funny. The mantra sounds like “mani-pedi.” Maybe I should get a mani-pedi. There is that new place just down the road that I could try. I wonder if I need an appointment?

Oops. I’m supposed to be meditating, not thinking about my dry heels. Let’s bring it back.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum

I wonder if I’m pronouncing that correctly. Does a mantra still work if you say it wrong?

Oh, just shut the hell up and meditate.

Well, that was not very compassionate. Compassion is a pretty important aspect of this whole thing. C’mon, little mind, come here, come on back to the nice peaceful place.

Now I sound like I’m talking to the dog.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum

God, I love meditation. I love the way it feels when I can finally shut down my spinning mind and just be. It sets up the rest of my day so that I can be more mindful. It’s so pure and so simple and . . . oh no.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum

My back hurts. I should have done a little yoga before I sat down. A back bend would feel really good because I have this knot on the right side of my lower back and it’s killing me.

Oh, now the dog is doing Down Dog. Just to make me jealous. She didn’t do it evenly though, she should have stretched out the left leg, too. God, I love yoga. I should go to a class tonight. But what is the weather supposed to be like?

Nope. Come on back.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum

Now, that was a good run. I’m killing this meditation session with all my presence and peacefulness.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum

I wonder how much time I have left? If I’m near the end, I really need to get serious. But if I’ve still got a while to go, maybe I should pace myself somehow. It’s like a meditation marathon. I could never do a real marathon, though. What if you have to go to the bathroom?

Om Mani . . .

I wonder if it’s bad that I meditate with an iPhone timer app. Does that take away from the pureness somehow? Buddha didn’t have an iPhone under the bodhi tree. But there was lots of stuff Buddha didn’t have. . . like blue jeans. . . or protein. It probably doesn’t matter.

Om Mani Padme Hum

My arm itches. I will scratch mindfully.

Om Mani Padme Hum

I really shouldn’t totally rule out a marathon, though. Maybe I could be one of those bad-ass women who does their first marathon when they are like, 50 years old. Wait, I bet my timer is going to go off soon. I should go out on a good note.

Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum

(Peaceful bells chime)

That was good.

I think I’m actually getting better at this.

I’m pretty sure that when I do this tomorrow, I’ll be totally enlightened.

Image via ShutterStock

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