Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were the closest thing we had to American royalty. Whereas Will and Kate epitomize class, structure and elegance, Kim and Kris represented excess, empty fame and ill-conceived notions of true love. It was everything that represented what was wrong with America’s media and I loved every freaking second of it.
Appropriately, the marriage ended after 72 days. It wouldn’t have been true American Royalty if it hadn’t. Kim then almost immediately began dating the only man who can rival her narcissism: Kanye West. It’s perfect. It’s out of a fairy tale, if fairy tales were about characters not many people enjoy and about relationships that were never intended to have a happy ending. Kanye has been quick to appear on Kim’s reality show, and in an episode from this past season we see that Kanye has given Kim racks full of designer dresses. Racks on racks on racks.
How sweet. Except maybe not. There have been reports that ‘Ye has been giving Kim fashion advice, allegedly even telling her that he only likes “his women” to wear black, white or grey. Let’s keep in mind that this is all alleged — believe me, we don’t need the rumors to fuel the truth that the relationship is sick, weird and unhealthy. During the first phase of their relationship, Kim was seen sporting a set of earrings with the initials “KW”. Then he bought her a $34,000 gold skull with the initials “KKW” written in white gems on the back of the base. Most troubling are the reports that have come about that Kanye has abused former girlfriends in the past.
The most recent unsettling development in this K(KW)-Hole of Narcissism they call a relationship has been Kim’s very small appearance in the background of Kanye’s latest music video for a song called “Perfect Bitch.” In case you were wondering, he has already confirmed via Twitter that the song was written about her.
The Root recently published a piece that notes the disturbing trend surrounding women and sex. We’re being inundated by numerous channels that to be talked down to, to be submissive, to be referred to as someone’s “bitch” is the norm. Between Twilight, Twilight-Lite (50 Shades of Grey) and damned near most songs on any rap-centric radio station, young girls are being flooded with examples of submissive women and dominant men.
And if the sub/dom aspect of sex is what works for you in the bedroom — or the sex cave dungeon — all the power to you. Feminism is about being able to make your own choice, and sometimes that choice involves choking, a whip and being called a filthy whore because it’s what gets you off. But don’t we owe it to developing girls to showcase more relationships based on equality and respect? That there’s an option out there that doesn’t rely on being referred to as someone’s “bitch”? And am I the only one bothered by Flo Rida’s “Whistle”?! I don’t care that it’s about blow jobs, but has it been pointed out that Mr. Rida is instructing this girl in question on how to give oral sex? Which means that she is most likely significantly younger than his 32 years. Like, so young that this girl never even Googled “how to give a blow job?” So a toddler? Is Flo Rida trying to teach a toddler how to perform oral sex?
I give up on everything. Kim needs to learn how to find respect and love for herself without a man, Kanye needs to get a better therapist, we need more relationship examples that don’t mirror that of Scott and Lacey Peterson, and Flo Rida needs to stop making catchy songs about BJs, Because I can’t stop whistling that damned whimsical hook, and it’s killing my soul a little each and every day.
Featured image via USMagazine
Yes and amen to everything, especially the Whistle song. I got the same creeped-out, disturbed vibe the first time I heard about it. No, FloRida, no one wants to blow your damn whistle. Ugh.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who hates the whistle song! Also, kinda sad for Flo Rida that his penis is apparently the size of a whistle :/…
And I’ll probably be skewered for this, but I’m a little in love with Kim’ye. And a lot in love with Kanye in general. Kim is a grown woman, and if he makes her happy, who are we to judge. Women love a man who makes grand gestures(think Cusack holding a boom box or Leo letting Kate have the floating door). So Kanye makes his gestures with iced out skull necklaces, so what? Like Kim is the first girl to ever wear something with her man’s initials on it? I think not.
Thanks, now I have the whistle song stuck in my head…again…AHHHHHHHH!
Caragh, I loved this! Thank you and there indeed has been WAY too much of this sort of thing happening, in my opinion. I would write a long response but I don’t think I could do as nice of a job as you and my previous responders have done. Rock on!
Caragh! You’re love for the Kardashians always puzzled me when I followed your tumblr but this is mad insightful. I emphatically agree with one of your main points: popular media and entertainment need to show more diversity in the types of romantic/sexual relationships it chooses to portray.
This also happens to be one of the main points of Caitlin Moran’s HOW TO BE A WOMAN, which is one of my newest favorite books. It is hysterical and witty and biting. She honestly reminded me a lot of you and so I think if you haven’t read it, you and many of your fans would really enjoy it.
I think that this article also has the potential to start a dialogue about contemporary feminism. To tie this and my previous endorsement of HOW TO BE A WOMAN (and maybe also to address Laura Ayres comment, “I don’t consider myself a feminist by the ‘traditional’ definition…”) I’d like to leave a passage from Moran’s book here:
“…We need the word ‘feminism’ back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist -and only 42% of British women- I used to think, What do you think feminism IS ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good s— GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or we’re you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”
Gah! I forgot to add that I completely agree with you that the world needs the word “feminism” back but with the correct perception.
Christine- when I said I don’t consider myself a “feminist” by the traditional definition, I misspoke. I should have said I don’t consider myself a feminist by the definition that has come into play over the last few decades. When I hear the word “feminist” I can’t help but think of the women who say “All women can do anything a man can do and sometimes, even better”. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why gender has to be a determining factor as to whether or not someone can do something well.
Now, the things that you cited- the right to vote, not being a husband’s property, the campaign for equal pay for equal roles, etc… THAT I stand behind 100%.
In my opinion, as with many ideals, the radicals tainted the word “feminism”. I am very happy I live in a world where I can vote and speak my mind, but I have a problem with women who push their beliefs on others without taking into consideration that maybe not all women want to do everything a man can do. To me, when I hear the word “feminist” I don’t think of the women who are fighting for women’s rights, but instead think of the women who force their beliefs on everyone and cause more harm than good.
Ok, here’s my theory about the whole Kanye, Kim thing: It’s all a publicity thing. Seriously, Kanye West is just crazy enough to do it. Yeah Kim’s hot and Kanye’s talented, but what do both of them love more than each other? Money. Seriously, I think this could be a thing.
Also, that whole ‘black, white, grey’ color deal…didn’t Glenn Close’s character only wear black and white in that movie where she boiled the bunny(Fatal Attraction) and wasn’t it indicative of serious psychological issues????? Hmmmm, just saying. Kanye might need to check in with his therapist.
It’s disturbing on so many levels. The current state of affairs – relationships, whatever seems to be taking huge steps backwards. Take the whole Kristin Stewart/RPattinson madness. I’m not a fan of Twilight or the actors per se, but the world has made a villain out of Kristen for ‘cheating’ on her boyfriend, while the other party in this little epic goes virtually unmentioned…Mind you, he is over 30 years old, married with children. But the villain of the piece is the young, impressionable girl child. She’s called everything from slut to trampire and yet her accomplice gets off (pardon the pun) scot-free? Why? Kim and Kanye – makes my head hurt to think of people that need, absolutely need that much external validation. Kim says she’s a hopeless romantic. I would have stopped at hopeless. Maybe that is harsh, but for someone who gained notoriety by making a sex tape with Ray J of all people, to continually rush into relationship after relationship without seemingly stopping to really consider the person, or her wants and needs is maddening. I would love for her (and Jennifer Lopez if I’m honest) to stop. Breathe. Take a minute to get to know who she is alone, to be okay with that, to revel in that and then make a wise and considered choice of a mate that is her equal. We all want love, I get that. But when do we stop sacrificing ourselves for it, our dignity, our desires, our strength? I think it was Ms. Sophia that said in essence…a woman chile ain’t safe in a family of mens (paraphrasing). If that is true of families, how much more does it apply to the world at large? We have to start being our own best friends and stop seeking that validation from the men we allow into our lives. There is a place for it, it just shouldn’t take precedence over our needs.
Fantastic article! I don’t consider myself a feminist by the “traditional” definition, but I do completely agree with feminism being about making my own choices. I don’t want my husband to make decisions, but I do appreciate him holding a door open for me…
The only thing I find rather sad about your article (sorry) is that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were considered royalty in America. I don’t disagree with your rationale (you explained it beautifully), but I can’t help feeling that I really think I need to relocate if our society considers vapid people like the Kardashians royalty… (I truly hate all that she stands for)
Again, great article!!
I wonder how a mother could be happy with this type of relationship. It stands to show that Kris Jenner is all about money- which Kanye provides.
I am a firm believer in letting people do what they want in public, but when it continues to be okay for a man to call a woman his bitch, especially in public, it is quite horrible. And then we wonder why young girls date men who treat them like shit – there are no other examples being capitalized on by the media
Google Kim and Kanye images. Out of the hundreds that pop up, there are maybe two of her wearing something other than black, white or grey. I completely believe he’s controlling enough to do that.
Like you said, these are two of the most narcissistic people in the world. If they want to be together hell that’s their decision and if they’re happy all the better. People argue it’s not our place to judge blah blah… Except it is. Because that’s what they’re asking for and that’s what they want. This isn’t George Clooney or Leonardo Dicaprio, celebrities who just want to do their job, campaign for a better society, and then be left alone. They don’t go to the famous restaurants or sign on for reality TV or tweet something personal every ten seconds. Kim and Kanye want to be judged and want to noticed.
In True Blood (this sounds silly, but bare with me..) vampires who live together for long periods of time become increasingly evil and out of touch with reality. Because their ego and power feeds one another. *cough* This is Kim and Kanye.
They can do whatever they want but I think it’s a real shame that she’s showing it’s ok to be bought and it’s “so sweet he’s calling me a bitch to the world!” the only thing I find more shameful is that girls actually look to her as a role model.
Lol I knew it sounded so silly but the idea of it really is so right. When crazy people group together they feed each others crazy thoughts. Like when your crazy best friends tell you “he didn’t text you in the last ten minutes? He’s definitely cheating!” this is why opposites attract or else we create these absurd realities that have no balance. Imagine what their experiences are like getting ready for an award show. Imagine the things they say to one another! And I agree that we as a society are slightly to blame. If no one cared about them, no one bought the magazines with them… Things would be different. Theyd be at home relaxing watching tv in their sweat pants. But since we the audience give them a reason to keep doing things to keep getting attention, they’re sitting at home getting dressed in their matching outfits and saying “So should we pose with ice cream and act like you’re disgusted that I’m getting fat? Or should we have you pulling me by the wrist so they can speculate if you’re abusive?”
Shanna, you are awesome. The True Blood comparison made me laugh but it’s SO TRUE, in life and in Kimye.
Also well done, Caragh, great article!
Blowing my mind with this True Blood comparison and I don’t even watch True Blood. I was afraid to GIS these two because I knew I would find tons of photos with Kim wearing those colors. I mean, I think you’re right. They, especially KimK, wants to be judged on some level – I think maybe the better word here is “noticed.” She makes her money because we consume her…products? I know she is hawking actual products, but I feel as though we consume her and not necessarily her leggings at Sears or whatever. There’s got be a discussion about consumerism and sexuality in here, but my head hurts.
I’m glad I bared with you on the True Blood comment. I scoffed at first, but by the end of the sentence I was so on board with you. A veritable parallel of Kimye.
Okay, okay, okay. I was ready to wave my hands above my head and deliver a rant better suited for my diary about how I’m still not ready to accept the Kimye relationship (ugh. I’m depressed just from typing that), but you took me by surprise with what this is actually about. Snaps to you, Caragh. (And whew! I still don’t need to accept that these two are dating.) You made an excellent point in that feminism is about choosing your choices, and if whips and chains and getting choked gets you off – good for you! And yes, I’m there with you. It gets a little complicated when a woman’s personal sexual desires are being showcased in public. There’s nothing wrong with you if you enjoy being dominated in your private sexual life – and that certainly doesn’t mean that your partner is disrespecting you by participating, but is it disrespectful if they talk (and/or sing/rap) about it to everyone else? Also, I think I might be more bothered by the lack of the consenting woman’s voice. It’s a lot of men telling us how much they love dominating their bitches, but no bitches being like, “Yup! I love this ish!” You know?
” It’s a lot of men telling us how much they love dominating their bitches, but no bitches being like, “Yup! I love this ish!” You know?”
Sums up everything about everything. Not just sex and relationships and in the entertainment business, but life entirely including things like politics and advertising companies.
Ramou, can you please agree with me on every post I make that I am unsure about? You validate my opinions like no other.
The topic of Femininity in the our present society will probably be taught in college from now until eternity. And I’m glad. I think girls and woman have been brain washed throughout time and it needs to stop!