Luke Perry sat in his dressing room in between takes and watched Jeffrey Dahmer getting arrested in Wisconsin and thought, “I wonder who will play him in the TV movie?” and then shut off the TV and turned on the radio. He started to fix his hair while Bryan Adams sang that Robin Hood song. “Why couldn’t I have been in that movie?” The door to his dressing room opened and he was needed on set. As he adjusted his Ray Bans and headed to the Peach Pit, the following thoughts entered his unadulterated, beautiful mind:

• This teenage heartthrob thing is going to work to my advantage in getting future roles.
• Once I leave 90210, I will never return.
• I can’t wait to shine my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  I wonder where it’ll be located?
• I can’t wait to direct a feature film.
• I’ll be happy with a Best Supporting Actor win.
• I can’t wait to star in multiple made for TV westerns.
• At least I’ll be more famous than Brian Austin Green when this is all over.
• Maybe I’ll go back to my birth name and be taken seriously.
• Taking a role in an Italian film playing myself is much better than playing Dylan McKay.  I have depth.
• I am never going to voice an animal in an animated TV show. That is so beneath me.
• I’ll never compromise my integrity by doing full frontal nudity.
• Being relatively unknown in the future will be good for my social life.
• I’m obviously the most talented actor in the cast.
• I am destined to not just be a small screen actor.
• I have such a gift when choosing the right roles.

Image via fuglypecky