From Our Readers

Love Means Never Having to Slouch

Approximately three weeks into our relationship my then new boyfriend, now husband segued our phone conversation into unsettling territory.  He drew a long breath, paused, and took the plunge. ‘Can I ask you a personal question?’ My stomach immediately began to quake, my palms began to sweat. I did not have a scandalous past, my closet was relatively skeleton free, yet I feared whatever his question was, whatever my answer would be, it could potentially end my first real relationship with a real live wonderful man that I already adored. With blood pounding in my ears I tried to reply in a calm fashion ‘sure’.

‘How tall are you? I don’t care myself but my friends were asking.’

Now this question was more than a statistic, more than curiosity from his male friends that had eyed me across a distance. It was noteworthy because I had a few solid inches of height on Brent. Gasp, I know.

Trust me, I always counted on marrying someone taller than me. I stand at five foot nine, so I needed a man of above average height. Brent was five seven in robust shoes. But he came pre approved by trusted friends and I thought he was gorgeous. Brown curly hair, hazel eyes, strong jaw, and broad shoulders. He was kind, generous, funny, and smart. In fact, I pursued him! While I had instantly given up my height stigma, had Brent? Was he embarrassed at the thought of being seen with me?

On the other end of the phone he laughed and assured me that he didn’t care himself. With time and familiarity, and wedding rings, he continued to assure me. Actually, he encourages my height! As a massage therapist that worked with chiropractors he is constantly coaching me to have good posture and walk tall. His ongoing compliments struggle against a lifetime of curved shoulders and slumping trying to shrink. As my husband he encourages high heels, loving how I look in them (I don’t wear them too often, I am in a lifelong awkward stage and have the grace of a drunken baby giraffe).

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  • Caitlin Prior

    Love the article! I’m 3 inches taller then my boyfriend and I’m always tired of girls giving up on guys before they know them because of a height difference, it shouldn’t matter.

  • Leyden Lozada

    Hi, I am very happy to read your article. My husband is shorter than me and it is so refreshing to see you sharing your experience with your husband. I am head over heels in love with mine and I would never change him for the tallest guy in the world. It is a shame that people stare at us at times when we are holding hands, but I will never let society dictate the person that I should be with just because of a measurement, and not their true essence. Thank you!

  • Colva Weissenstein

    I’m tall (6′) and am and often have dates shorter guys. It’s just not important, being super concerned about a height difference is so exluding and so vain. You like who you like, height doesn’t matter!
    Thank you for this lovely article!

  • Rebekka Utermohlen

    My aunt is a good 6ft and her husband (my uncle) is 5’7. Cousin is 5’11 her husband 5’8. Love does not see height! My family is filled with tall ladies, and really confident men.

  • Caitlin Carbonell

    I’m an inch taller than my boyfriend and it drives me crazy. I don’t like towering over him (even in short heels!) so I constantly wear flats when we have special events together; so his shoes make us the same height. Then again everyone before him was 6’2″ or taller (he’s 5’5″).

  • Emily Jenkins

    You only started dating 3 weeks ago and you are already married?

    • Emily Jenkins

      Oh pffft. Nevermind I read that wrong.

  • Paulina Angelica

    What a nice little article! His question made me smile with the introduction you wrote. I’ve always said that I like the guy to be taller than me, but the truth is I’m 5’1 so I don’t feel I have very high standards (no pun intended). My brothers are also like 5″4 and 5″5 and all their girlfriends have always been taller and don’t seem to mind.

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