If I wasn’t a writer and I was actually good at science, then there is no question that I would be spending my life as the world’s foremost marine biologist (I mean, if I were good at science, I would like to think that I would be REALLY good at science, okay?) because that is how much I love all the things that live under the water. Sea creatures are, in my opinion, the closest thing we have to mythical creatures. Sea creatures are truly magical. From the smallest morsel of floating plankton to the biggest whale in all the ocean, I love marine animals so much I wish I could be friends with them.
Thus, I present to you today’s list of stuff: Real Sea Creatures I Want to Be Friends With (not to be confused with Fictional Sea Creatures I Want to Be Friends With, which is a list I will present at a later date). Please note that this list is not a ranking, and my potential marine friends are listed in no particular order.
1. Leafy Sea Dragon. Okay look at this guy. How cool is he? I think his name could be something like Fred or Eric and he’s very concerned about keeping his mane well-groomed but he’d also probably be really into just sort of floating around and drinking tea. Also, he is both a fish and a dragon. I mean seriously? How much cooler can you get than being a dragon, which is arguably a mythical creature and/or extinct, that lives under the sea?
2. Dumbo Octopus. I think the Dumbo Octopus would be like having a pet dog. I mean, no offense, Dumbo Octopus, but you don’t look like the brightest phosphorescent plankton in the sea (that’s like “sharpest tool in the shed” but I just made it up). Instead, you are adorable and I think you might make an excellent companion in the same way a pet does. You look like an emoji and also a puffy sticker. I want to tickle you and maybe curl up on the sofa with a good book while you slumber nearby.
3. Maine Lobster. I want you to know that as someone born and raised in Maine, where children are expected to grow up with an inherent love for the taste of lobster, I never enjoyed eating lobster. I really dislike the taste of lobsters, so the good news is that I love lobsters so much I never want to eat them or harm them or do them wrong. Sometimes I am still haunted by the memory of my mother letting our dog and cats play with a lobster before she cooked it. RIP lobster. I would have been your friend.
4. Sea Turtle. I imagine all sea turtles to be just as cool as the ones in Finding Nemo – you know, essentially stoner sufer bros who just sort of float around and live the good life. They are all about feeling good and good vibes and just being chill and good, brah. Ever since I saw Finding Nemo, aka the best movie in the world, I just haven’t been able to think of a sea turtle any other way, and that’s fine, because that means that I would probably be best friends with just any old sea turtle in under a minute. I mean, who wouldn’t want such a low-key and fun-loving, go-with-the-flow friend around all the time!?!
5. Sea Anemones. What’s that saying again? “Keep your friends close and your anemones closer?” No wait… that can’t be right… whatever, I like it! I think anemones should be my friends! Anemones are beautiful and magical and did you know they are actually named after a flower that is called anemone? I didn’t know that until I was poking around on the Wikipedia page. Also? This anemone is neon pink. I obviously want to be friends with someone who is neon pink. I mean, duh.
6. Clownfish. Again, I am going to assume you saw Finding Nemo and therefore the Clownfish’s spot on this list should come as no surprise. I mean, look at it! Look at that guy. I love him. We would be best friends. I would be the Dory to his Nemo.
7. Great White Shark Okay let’s try this again: What’s that saying? “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?” (I think I got it this time!) Well, what about sharks? Is a shark a friend or a foe? Now I know this may surprise you, but I’m no dummy – I’m aware that we are all supposed to be scared of sharks and that there is no way this very Great White Shark wouldn’t try to eat me alive the second we were introduced by our mutual friend, the Hammerhead Shark, but how could I not want to be besties with this giant death machine? What an amazing ally he would make! I would probably be running my own TV show by now if my best friend was a Great White Shark. Think about it. You know I’m right.
8. Pacific Barrel Eye Fish. I would be friends with this fish because, well, look at him! That can’t be easy, everyone looking inside your head and all, all the time? I mean I guess you can wear a hat, but really, how difficult that must be! Unless you are an exhibitionist, in which case, congratulations because everyone can literally look inside your brain all the time and that is exactly what everyone is doing. But either way, I just don’t think being a Pacific Barrel Eye Fish would be an easy life and I think a guy like him could use a friend like me.
There you have it! Truth be told, I’d really like to be friends with all the other fishies in the sea, but I don’t know that you would actually want to hear me ramble on about every marine animal out there (I mean I could. I seriously, really could). I think these eight magical beings will have to do for now.
What about you? Are you also a sea life enthusiast? What’s your favorite little marine creature? What fish do you most want to be friends with? Sound off in the comments below or chat me up on Twitter!